001. AUDIO

[kingofallkings]

[The background noise comes through first - a minor roar, a cacophony of voices. People talking and cursing, intermixed with the sound of coins, of levers being pulled. To anyone who has ever been to one, the sound is unmistakeable: it's a casino. Suddenly, there's the sound of a lever being pulled quite close to the communicator... a slot machine. And then...]

Upon my arrival here, I thought immediately that I had arrived in a world most readily comparable to a heap of dung. A world containing all the most disgusting features of my own home, but without the redeeming feature of its being my world - which is to say, the garden that belongs to me.

[...Bing bing bing! Jackpot. There's the sound of cascading coins - someone just got lucky. Right next to the communicator. Eh, it's probably the person speaking. Either way, said person doesn't stop - you quickly hear another coin, another pull of the lever.]

However. As it turns out, there are some minor pleasures to be had here. For example...

[--and judging from the sudden cascade of coins, it looks like he won again.]

...casinos. I'm not unaware of their existence on the Earth of my origin. However, due to circumstances, I have never had the pleasure of visiting one. There's something quite satisfying about that clatter of coins, however. Most pleasant.

[Did he just pull the lever again?]

I have since decided that this place is acceptable. Be proud, casino owners. You have earned the approval of The King.

[....he turns the broadcast off just as another jackpot begins to rain coins down from this poor, abused machine.]

Comments

permatext

[deadtective]

You're a couple hundred sweaty rhinestone jumpsuits too late for that endorsement.

permavoice

[kingofallkings]

I'm not talking about your ridiculous, hip-gyrating singer. Don't insult me with that comparison.

AUDIO

[unbreaker]

[The realization that $$ this guy has to be absolutely fucking loaded by now $$ slams home with all the force of a speeding locomotive, but do you think that leaves Josuke at a loss for words? Not for a second!

He may be seeing dollar signs right now and may even be on the verge of vibrating out of his seat with excitement, but he's a cool cat when he hits the button on his communicator to talk!]

There any other places you never got to check out before? 'Cause...I've been here for a bit, I'd be happy to show you the ropes!

AUDIO

[kingofallkings]

[WELL HE'S DEFINITELY WORKING ON IT. Or pulling levers on it, as the case may be. Who needs work when you can abuse your Divine Right?]

I'm sure there are a great many of them. When one summons the King of Heroes to call, it is hardly with a mind for leisure.

Also. Very little in the modern world suits my preferences, so I can't claim to be tempted by much.

[At least not until his boredom level rises by 5%.]

[video]

[forsometimenow]

... is all of that your winnings?

AUDIO. FOREVER.

[kingofallkings]

Certainly. I would hardly be sitting so close to someone else's.

[ahappyending]

What magnificent luck you seem to have, Mr. King.

[kingofallkings]

It is the luck of the King, yes. And you may call by my title. "Mister," however, is inappropriate.

audio;

[whathawksdo]

[ That sounds like an awful lot of coins there, but first! ]

The King? Is that like... The Protector? The Batguy? The Costumed Man Who Stands on the Corner Every Other Weekend Shouting? Or did you mean an actual king?

audio;

[kingofallkings]

In my home, there is but one King to rule the Earth, and that is me.

[...]

Of course, I am not so unreasonable as to refuse acknowledgement of differences between my world and this.

AUDIO

[noblesword]

I would have thought that someone of your standing might look down upon an act as contemptible as cheating.

Video!!!

[kingofallkings]

Arturia.

[Suddenly: Video!

Consider yourself blessed, for he has deigned to show his face for your sake, Saber.]

It is hardly cheating to make use of my right. Besides which... cheating is defined as the violation of rules in an attempt to win, is it not?

I acknowledge no rule that is not of my own defining.

AUDIO also jfc my people don't like showing their faces today i'm sorry

[johakyu]

[Would you look at that. Gilgamesh. Someone Nobu's been thinking about recently...]

Well, at least you've found something fun to do to pass the time.

[A quiet chuckle before he adds...]

Those machines get tiresome fast, of course. And the whole casino scene...it's not really high stakes enough for me.

AUDIO and uh gil's fine with that he doesnt think anyone's worthy to look at him anyway

[kingofallkings]

[That's right, it's him. The King. Feel free to bow down.]

I concur. The novelty has worn off.

But now I'm curious. What sort of stakes do you enjoy?

AUDIO.

[selfimage]

Ah—gambling, the game of gods. It seems you've found your calling, Mister King.

AUDIO. OH GOOD HE HATES GODS

[kingofallkings]

Gambling is a game of humanity. Let's not be so crude as to draw lines between humanity's achievements and that of the gods.

And as I've said elsewhere, you may use my title, but Mister is inappropriate. "King" is not my family name.

audio

[prostheticbody]

If you keep that up, they're going to ask you to leave.

audio

[kingofallkings]

I'd like to test that theory; the King will go where he likes.

Sadly, I've already left. The novelty in so repetitive an action could only last a short time.

permatext

[hypnotherapy]

My, my! Aren't you the lucky one.

They're really not going to enjoy your good fortune, but I think it'd be fun to see them try to kick you out.

permavoice

[kingofallkings]

As it happens, I've already left. However, should my boredom reach such a level that I'm inspired to return here, they're more than welcome to try escorting me out.

I would, of course, take such an action as an insult, and act accordingly.

voice;

[grimreaping]

I'm sure the casino owners are thrilled.

voice;

[kingofallkings]

They should be. I could have graced any establishment of my choosing with my presence this evening, and I have chosen theirs.

audio

[sophos]

[With so much flatness:] King of what?

audio

[kingofallkings]

The Garden that is Earth, of course.

v...oice.... sure

[seesthestars]

[hi, she knows that sound very well. she doesn't know the voice accompanying it - he's obviously new and apparently quite full of himself important - but that's not really the most pressing issue at the moment.]

Hey... did you rig that machine or something?

[kingofallkings]

Certainly not. Such an action would be beneath me.