Promo for Wingerman/ImPortant! and video

[angelfire]

[ A courtroom. A small child appears on screen. She has a missing eye and an adorable black and white sheepdog, which she is hugging in the docket as she speaks: ]

When mummy and daddy went away, the church took me in. Lucy is a good angel. He found me a new mummy and daddy and now we get to be a family again. I love Lucy very much.

[ The screen blacks out, then a classical organ arrangement of the music theme to Jeff Winger’s ‘Wingerman: Lawyer at Large’ starts playing. Large white font splashes across the screen, and deep voice movie announcer says: ]

Available now via download: The Trial of the Century. Jeff Winger’s most challenging case yet.

[ A flash to an outside shot of a courthouse, several thousand people with placards milling about on the steps. Their boards read ‘Not Guilty!’ and ‘Angel not Devil!’. Now there’s a close up of what appears to be a high court judge presiding over the courtroom. He proclaims: ]

You have been accused of crimes against humanity, corruption of the innocent, taking advantage of the meek, fratricide and genocide; cosmic negligence to the order of which this court has never seen the like. How do you plead?

[ Another video clip, this time of the small child running into Lucifer’s arms, sobbing hysterically, and Jeff sat beside him. The black screen again, and now the music for ImPortant!, Lucifer’s reality show, is being played in the background while the announcer speaks: ]

This summer, the ultimate devil’s advocate must become THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE.

[ Jeff is on screen, looking very spiffing. Televised courtroom spiffing. He points at the screen, his voice resonating: ]

OBJECTION!!!11 Your honor, my client’s only crime is loving his father!

[ Cut to an unimpressed judge: ] If you shout objection again Mr. Winger I’m going to have to have you removed from this courtroom.

[ Finally the screen goes black and as the credits roll, a second female announcer says: ] A portion of the profit from every download of this special edition of Wingerman: Lawyer at Large and ImPortant, goes to the Church of the Morningstar Homeless Foundation. Please give generously.


[ The automatic feed gives way to an image of Lucifer sitting at a polished mahogany desk. His hands are steepled in front of him, and the room is well lit by a large, brand new stained glass window that takes up most of the back wall of the office. Large golden wings make up the image, creating the illusion that Lucifer has wings. He doesn’t seem to notice the effect, but you can be sure it’s intentional. ]

So there you have it, a promo for the upcoming episode of our respective shows. I was very impressed with Mr. Winger’s vigor as an attorney. He didn’t give in, even when it seemed like the entire courtroom was against us. I highly recommend him.

[ He taps his nose, then fingerguns at the camera, and the feed clicks off. ]

Comments

not here

[notdaredevil]

[ Excuse, he needs to go vomit in disgust at this shameless pile of showboating nonsense. ]

not here

[angelfire]

[ Who do you think is responsible for Jeremy Springer? ]

not here

[notdaredevil]

[ Jerry Springer's legal and political career came before the crazy daytime talk show that Matt Murdock has never seen a single episode of.

But fair point, sir. ]

video.

[likeabawws]

[ what...did he just watch. ]

W-well, that was...different...

video.

[angelfire]

You're welcome. Comments, concerns, criticism?

permavoice;

[nostalgiabomb]

Won't lie. Totally thought that little girl was doing a title drop to herald a new, unnecessarily edgier version of I Love Lucy.

Never have I been more glad to be wrong.

[angelfire]

Can you get any edgier than a pregnant woman advertising cigarettes?

video;

[textualhealing]

Hmm, could have done with slightly more cheese. At least they got my good side.

video;

[angelfire]

There was another version where the announcer just said: COURTROOM COURTROOM COURTROOM!!!
MAYHEM MAYHEM MAYHEM!!!
It was inspired.

video;

[cleptes]

So much for my promotion of Jeff, but I lacked the budget.

[Bela is settling for snark because a) it's better to do that be afraid of Lucifer (which she is) and b) WHAT THE HECK IS JEFF THINKING BY WORKING WITH THE DEVIL?!!11]

video;

[angelfire]

[ YES WHAT SORT OF CRAZY PERSON WOULD DO THAT? =DDD

But yes, be brave, Bela. Lucifer smiles at her cooly. ]

You should ask him about his shiny new certificate. The judge even signed it for him.

video;

[textualhealing]

Your promotion was a lot more classy.

[rathercommon]

This is stupid.

[angelfire]

Crossover specials tend to do quite well at diversifying viewership. I prefer the term 'inspired'.

[textualhealing]

You're stupid.

[askedtobe]

Nothing like any court case i've ever seen.

[angelfire]

It's the having fun that counts.

Besides, if you want real parlor politics, try Vatican City. It's a real hoot.

video

[hsalf]

I'm...not quite certain as to what I just watched.

[Did a small child run into the arms of the self-proclaimed devil? Church of the Moringstar? The production values aren't even that great, but he has that opinion of most things he's seen in the past several years.]

Is this "Wingerman" a television lawyer or an actual lawyer, I'm a little confused here. [This is bad advertising for a real lawyer.]

[textualhealing]

Both. Actual lawyer, law teacher, law celebrity and back to lawyer. I'm well versed in being awesome in law. [This is the BEST advertising, shut up.]

video

[angelfire]

Actual lawyer, believe it or not. With a reality TV show about his life. It's no more ludicrous than anything else happening here.

voice

[enustari]

Lucy. [Yeah, that's her big takeaway from this. She is positively cackling.]

I had no idea you were so good with children.

voice

[angelfire]

[ He wanted to keep the Lucy bit out of it but the child was rubbish in all the other takes so he'll live. Somehow. ]

Well that's what you get for judging a book by it's cover. I have younger brothers, you know.

video

[airshow]

[ He already has popcorn. Chomp chomp chomp. ]

That's almost the tackiest thing I've ever seen.

video

[textualhealing]

Only almost? Damn.

video

[angelfire]

I'd love to know what the tackiest thing was.