video

[scleras]

[The man on the screen is wearing a clean white suit with a grey shirt underneath it, the simpleness of this attire outshone by the mask on his face, as it's clearly meant to draw all the attention. The mask is white with two black hearts for eyes (and only tiny holes in those for him to see through) and large pouty red lips made of plaster.

He spreads his arms, greeting his audience.]

Hello, lovebirds of all ages, shapes, and sizes!

I am pleased to announce that the brand new reality show GHOULFRIENDS will be airing on a station near you in the very near future! However, we still need one very important thing - contestants! That's right! You could find love right here on national television!

We're looking for some... unique participants to make this show stand out from any others of its type. (I'm looking at you, heroes!) So call our toll-free number or enter on our website! Heck, sign up your friends! We'll convince them it's worth their time.

As your host, I'll be glad to consider answering any questions you might have.

[Uta isn't using his usual tone of voice today, so he should be fairly hard to recognize. Go ahead and use this post to get an IC reason to have your character sign up for the show. Questions can be asked OOCly there, or ICly here.]

Comments

video forever

[dormition]

[Minato is just a normal Japanese teenager, if blue-haired, by appearance. But he certainly doesn't blink at Uta at all.]

How unique do you need?

[scleras]

[The man aims both pointer fingers in his direction.]

Are you an ImPort?

[dormition]

I'm on this network, so... yes.

video

[fridgeflower]

Do you think you could avoid hooking me up with cannibals or guys that couldn't even be remotely interested in me?

[ Let her tell you about her record with blind dates. Hoowee. ]

[scleras]

[Look at those non-specifics! As not all ghouls are technically cannibals, since they're a separate species, Uta doesn't feel the need to mark them completely off the list. Only ones that also eat their own kind. Like Kaneki.]

I can absolutely do that.

[angelfire]

[ You said his two favorite things: reality and unique. So he's curious, in his usual amused way. Without even a flicker of emotion in his expression but whatever. That's what makes him so telegenic. ]

Nice mask.

[scleras]

Thank you! I have several.

[All of which he made himself.]

video;

[textualhealing]

You don't think we've already got enough crappy imPort reality shows?

[scleras]

I don't design the programs, sir. I only get paid to host one.

video

[justimom]

What definition of unique are you using? [ Not that Samara wants to sign up, she's just curious about what unique people this person is looking to have on this show. What is with people and these love shows? ]

[scleras]

All ImPorts, really. To be fair.

We could have narrowed things down further, only allowed non-human participants, etc., but we wanted to broaden the selection.

video

[enustari]

ImPort dating? [She cackles.] Oh, but this will be hideous!

[Someone has the figurative popcorn all ready to go.]

[scleras]

Please tune in! I do hope I can provide suitable amusement for you.

video.

[glowsferatu]

What do you mean by unique?

[ By the looks of her, it obviously applies. But she's also pretty clearly skeptical. ]

[scleras]

More than your average citizen. Extra super, I should say.

We'd love to have a gorgeous lady like you on board.

[video] - hi fade

[nagachika]

.......................


Ghoulfriends.

You're.... serious about a title like that. Like. Seriously.
I know puns are marketable, but. Come on, man.

[scleras]

I just host the show, I don't write the titles!

You'll have to take your complaint to my producers.

video

[memorybomb]

Oh? An imPort dating show? What a cute idea. [... this could actually be of use to her. Paku's down.]

[scleras]

I'm glad to see you approve! Please feel free to visit our website and sign up. Spots are still available.

video until noted otherwise

[abandon_hope]

... Ghoulfriends? Really?

[scleras]

The name doesn't seem to be all that popular, does it? Well, the show should be entertaining enough that we can all look past my producer's shortcomings.

text;

[timeframes]

important questions to make sure this shitshow turns out as great as its shaping up to be:
have you already got someone designated to not be there to make friends
is there an embarrassing and slightly gross obstacle course
will there be slime
and will there be a scene where you line everyone up to be publicly humiliated by a spraytanned douchebag plastic surgery experiment gone wrong

[scleras]

This comment has so much character. I approve.

Yes, Yes, possibly, and is this something you want to see?

text

[bloodpressured]

DON'T LISTEN TO DAVE'S SUGGESTIONS.
HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE TYPE OF PROGRAM YOU'RE LOOKING TO MAKE.
LISTEN. DID ANYONE GIVE YOU MY NAME? KARKAT VANTAS. I WAS SUPPOSED TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS AND I'VE HEARD NOTHING.

[scleras]

I could hardly forget such a curious name. Yes, I think it might have been mentioned to me, but ultimately I'm not in charge of that.

I'll put in a word for someone so devoted to the art, though. Just show up at the studio and I'll take care of the rest.