maskormenace | (no subject)

[ Oh look, it's Lucifer. He's not in church for once, he's sitting in front of a fountain in Nonah, at night, kicking his heels, wearing an open black long-sleeved shirt over a red tee with an attractive pitchfork motif on it. ]

Happy birthday to me~ Happy birthday to me~ No, just kidding. It's not my birthday--it is, however almost the 29th of September--Michaelmas. [ He puts on a high pitched voice: ] "But Lucifer," I hear you ask, "I've never even heard of Michaelmas, it sounds like you made it up." "Rude" I reply. [ Lucifer narrows his eyes at the screen, as though actually giving a good telling off. ] "Michaelmas is the celebration of all the archangels, and an excuse to have a big party, a feast in fact, in their honor." Note that I say their honor and not ours. Oh yes, because on this day of feasting and celebration, everyone is invited except for me. That's not very polite, right? I mean, I was once revered, invaluable; the success of many of Heaven's battles pivoted on my contribution.

So I'm feeling a little left out. No more. Not this time. This time I'm going to be the one throwing the biggest party, making the biggest noise, celebrating my brothers and myself. The church will be open to only imPort visitors, starting at eight and running through the evening. There's going to be feasting, music, dancing, alcohol--all of it free. [ He waves a hand. ] Travel between Heropa to Miami will be included, of course. I'll schedule a coach or something.

I know what you're thinking. I'm not going to any party that the devil is throwing, but hey, it's archangel day, and I will - quite literally - be on my best behaviour. The party, though? Hell warmed up. You know that sounds amazing, right? If that's not tempting enough, then I'm throwing in one more treat. For one day only, visitors can ask one of two things: one truth, about anything, or one insight, about themselves. Awesome, right?

Come on, you know you want to. Oh--oh, by the way, if you see any of my carolers out and about, be nice to them. That's all I have to say. [ Except... ] Congrats on catching Crane, by the way.

[ ooc: a log will be going up tomorrow, the ooc post is here. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sure. We're still buddies. Just not the kind where you get to physically abuse and/or kill kthx. We're the kind that share the occasional drink and discuss how much our dads suck. The good kind of buddies.

Physical abuse? Is that what we're calling it now?

I dunno. I find it encapsulates a pretty big fucking selection of crap then.

Something to tell your therapist. Or your priest. Make sure you get all the bad voodoo out.

Yeah but my therapist has a hard on for you so it could get awkward.

I have that effect on therapists, I'm told. Well. So long as you don't let him hypnotize you, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Could be that he has already. You know what Chilton's like. The guys got as many morals as he has interesting writings, which is zero.

No, I'm just saying that if thinking about me gets him hard, you probably don't want to be helpless and unconscious in his den of iniquity.

It's ok. I'm aware of the risks. I strike similar feelings in many men.

If only you'd been my vessel, Jeffrey. Temporarily, of course. Sam is still hotter than you.

Well I know that's total bullshit.

He is. A decade and a half younger, cleaner--no hair gel, for one thing. All his muscles come from hunting creatures of the night, and moreover he hasn't had a single STI. Jaw that could cut glass. Oh, and he's a whole centimeter higher.

What do you have to counter that,Jeff?

He needs a haircut.

Has it occurred to you that maybe you need to have more hair? I realize such blatant effeminate attributes would make your heterosexuality even more suspicious, but that's your hang up, not mine.

Omg I get it already, you have a boner for him, big whoop.

Deflective, much?

No. I just don't wanna discuss your mancrush.

[So much sulking.]

Whatever you say, Jeff.

Oh wat? You'd rather we spend the next hour discussing how his eyes sparkle in the moonlight?

Oh can we? Pleeeeaaaasssse?

Go find a copy of Twilight (does that book even exist here? idk. i fucking hope not) and spend the day editing his name with the sparkling vampire and your name with the wilting love interest. Should keep you occupied.

Just so you know, next time I see you I'm going to light you on fire.

I imagine that'd hurt so I'd prefer if you didn't.

It's non optional.

I'm pretty sure there's gonna be some kinda get-out clause. Like a not-get-set-on-fire clause.

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