maskormenace | Video; That's So Maya: Millennial Mysticism Ep 1

[You know what sucks? Being told on one of your first days here that ah, no, you're going to be on a live TV show. When you have no TV experience.

That lack of experience is probably evident on Maya's face when the camera pans in on the tiny recording space, where she's sitting in a chair too big for her and wearing clothes that don't suit her. As the intro jingle ends, the camera zooms slowly in on her.]

Um... Hi.

I'm... Maya Fey, and...

[She freezes up.

It would be one thing if this was something she's excited for. Like, like being an extra in the Steel Samurai Revolution Z special movie that was due next fall. That would be something. But this... this is out of nowhere, after she's been told she's living with an Edgeworth that doesn't remember her and that Phoenix is nowhere to be found.

This sucks.

Past the camera, someone hisses, Read the prompter!

Maya nods.]

I'm Maya Fey, and this is, uh... That's So Maya, Millennial.... Mysticism.

[The same voice hisses, energy!

And Maya's face sours. Well! It's not like they've given her all that much prompting before now, since they rushed her and wouldn't listen to her, but... here goes.]

I'm here to take your questions about love, money, and your fu... what?

[She frowns again at the screen.]

I thought I said, I'm not that kind of--

[The feed flicks off for a minute, reading Technical Difficulties. When it flicks back on, Maya is smiling, sitting more comfortably in her seat, like a cat. Like a cat about to enact some revenge.]

Hello everyone! Sorry for that delay. I'm Maya Fey, your host for Millennial Mysticism! Which, I might add, could have had a better title. Just saying.

I'm here to take your questions about love and money and all of that! So if you're ready to have your privacy spilled out all over public broadcast, just call in!

[And with a grin like a cheshire cat, she puts her hands together.]

Thanks so much for your calls ahead of time! Let's look forward to a bright future together, okay?

[You wanted energy, news team. Here's energy.

OOC: Feel free to call in with a question to have her answer on air... and don't worry, she'll get herself introduced to everyone a bit more properly in the future. Some test drive threads are being used as canon as well, so it's ok if people have recognised her from around the streets of Heropa recently. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

So did you punch that guy out or what

[WHAT HAPPENED DURING THOSE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES HE'S SO CURIOUS ABOUT THAT AND LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE]

[Maya stares at the prompter for a moment after reading that one aloud, smiling-- and then looks just past the camera.]

You know, I didn't.

But it does sound like a great idea when someone makes a girl uncomfortable, doesn't it?

[STARING AND SMILING AT SOMETHING PAST THE CAMERA, NBD.]

[Yeah the voice is probably familiar from before.]

Looks like you didn't waste any time settling in.

Oh-- hey! Tucker!

How ya doin', pal?

[GRIN GRIN.

...What? They didn't give her any other direction, so she can make this social hour, right?]

[Yeah we'll just keep wasting that air time. Their own fault for not being direct with her.]

Good good, kinda dealin' with some shit right now [One word and it starts with "Church".]

Wait so are they trying to say you're a psychic? You didn't mention this was the job they gave you.

Well, let's get that one sorted out, Tucker.

[Now she looks determined for a different reason.]

I am a psychic. I'm a channeler. Before I came here, I could channel the dead!

And so could most of the girls in my family. Including my mom.

[She says that very pointedly, because SOMEONE in this godforsaken country STILL BELIEVES THAT MISTY FEY IS A FRAUD, WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE.]

But I didn't get to keep those powers when I came here. I... don't think.

[...It feels different, okay.]

[Threats of violence are almost as good as the real thing, this girl is alright so far in Maine's book.]

Punching people that annoy you is always a good idea
[Maine no]

You know, I don't think you're always right, but it has worked out pretty well for me in the past.

I'm gonna take that one into real consideration when we're talking about where this show's gonna go!

get better ratings if you punched someone

whats this show supposed to be anyway

Is there someone pointing a gun at you and making you talk? [ Seriously, who would do that to a kid. ]

--What?

[That one takes her by surprise-- mostly because she hadn't even considered that was an option. No, Tex, this is all spite.]

Oh, no. We just had a talk, is all. Everything's cool.

[And then with a little smirk, like a kindergartener who has finished all her homework early--]

I handled it.

[ Oh, that's a good answer. A better one than she expected. ]

Had a chat with them? [ And the emphasis on that word definitely implies something totally different than what she said. Punching is the true solution to problems. ]

Good. They sounded like assholes.

[Hawkeye doesn't watch much television. But someone in the breakroom at work has it on today, and she finds herself cringing for the young woman's obvious discomfort. Everything about her body language screams that she would rather be doing anything else--

--until the technical difficulty screen comes on, and then clears, and said young woman is grinning like the cat that's caught the canary. Hawkeye can't help but smirk at the screen. When the phone number appears, she decides she has no choice but to step in how she can.]

You do have to appreciate the alliteration in your show's title, Miss Fey. I suppose you're a psychic of some sort?

[Oh good she's glad to have impressed you m'am. Punches or no punches.

She does, however, have a distinct expression of "whoa, can she say that on TV?" before she continues.]

Yeaaah, I mean, there was a lot of miscommunication at first. That's why you should always talk to people when you want them to do something for you.

[lookin' at you, director guy]

Yeah, you could say that.

[Because that is less of a lie than 'I'm a fortune teller.']

My specialty is-- or, it was channelling. But now I'm here to answer people's questions!

Which, by the way? Totally a bad idea. I've been here like, three days. I should be the one asking questions around here.

[QUALITY PROGRAMMING]

Well right now it's just gonna be me answering questions! Which... I guess it always was gonna be.

[Just. Questions she doesn't actually have the answers too.]

...And I mean, I'm not gonna tell you not to come down and punch people for me, if you want those ratings to go up, or something.

[Casually just gonna cross her legs and sit in the chair like a child, too, nbd.

Someone behind the camera apparently has thrown something, and as soon as Maya hears the sound, her grin spreads wider.]

[ If she can't say it, the censors better be on standby because Tex isn't doing that herself. ]

Is this your first day here? And they're already throwing you on TV?

Third.

[She throws up her fingers, flashing three.]

Pretty nice welcome around here. I mean, last time I got brought to some weird city, I ended up an assistant baker instead.

[ Damn. Even three days seems not like a lot. How old is this girl even? ]

Make sure they're paying you what you're worth down there. If they're going to use you as a television personality, you should get paid like one.

[Maya Fey is 100% a genuine adult, okay.

Just a very new one.]

Youuuuu have a point.

[Maya's eyes look quite like a cat's for a second. Money is nice. Money is good.]

...I'll make sure to keep track of that.

So hypothetically speaking, could you use your psychic abilities to know what next week's winning lotto numbers are? Let's say in Virginia.

[look this is a man who is not known for wise decision making okay]

[...Is this guy for real?]

...Hypothetically?

[Well. Hypothetically.]

How many numbers is it?

Uh, hello. Actually, is it all right that I'm calling in to maybe get my boyfriend to contact me?

[He explains before she could answer.]

See, we had a little misunderstanding, and I'd tried to get in touch with him during the weekend, but something weird was happening, so none of my calls or texts got through to him. I mean, maybe I could explain more if I really have to get love advice or whatever, but please.

[Okay, this is something she can give a moment to. Screw 'mysticism' trying to make her look crazy.]

Well, I do have a cousin back home who'd hate me forever if I didn't work hard for the power of love and all that.

What's your boyfriend's name?

Thanks, I really appreciate it. Anyway, he's Dorian Gray.

[Should... should he go on?]

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Video; That's So Maya: Millennial Mysticism Ep 1

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