video; backdated to 10/28

[you_tried]

[ Squint your eyes a little everyone, when the feed opens the camera catches the direct glare of the hot sun. Whoever is holding the communicator has it positioned at an odd angle, so the video captures clear blue skies, though the sound of the ocean can be heard with the occasional tropical bird cawing somewhere in the distance. The camera jolts without warning, dipping low enough to capture what appears to be a boat deck.

Off camera, Karen’s voice can be heard snappishly saying: ]

Are you still trying to take a selfie? Could you put that down for one second?

[ The camera jerks again, capturing an image of a chest that might be familiar to those of you who own the Booster Gold Mancalendar™ (you’re welcome). ]

Is it sooo wrong that I want to document this?

I guess we can document the part where I throw you off the boat.

You wouldn’t. There’s jellyfish in there! Probably. And besides, you never said there was a rule against selfies. It’s an American tradition.

Just try me, and Jesus, would you focus on steering the boat? [ Something splashes up beside the boat, seizing Karen’s attention for a moment. She groans loudly. ] We’re getting too close to those things.

Those things are Hawaiian squeaking sharks, and they’re our friends. Say cheese, guys!

[ The camera’s focus wobbles down off the side of the boat, zooming in on a group of splashing, smiling bottlenose dolphins, which are indeed getting very close. And then: a thump. ]

... oh, God. What was that?

Uh… maybe start guessing what it wasn’t and we’ll narrow it down…

[ The clicks and whistles of dolphins grow louder. If you happen to speak dolphin (or even if you don’t), they sound… pretty pissed. ]

MICHAEL.

WHAT? It was an accident!

[ The camera jerks again, horror movie shaky-cam style, as more dorsal fins rise from the water. Did you know dolphin pods can get really, really huge? Well, now you do. ]

Crap. Does anyone know how to say sorry in dolphin?


( ooc: red is karen and blue is booster! replies from karen will have the ID read as “karen starr”. booster's reads “booster gold,” but who cares. no dolphins were harmed in the making of this post. )

Comments

[you_tried]

We're in Hawaii, that's practically international waters, and it's a rental.

[liverletdie]

Well that just means they have all your information when they try to prosecute you.

[you_tried]

For what? I didn't— it jumped in front of the boat!

[liverletdie]

It's a fish.

I'm pretty sure that's kind of their territory.

[you_tried]

Technically they're mammals.

[liverletdie]

That doesn't mean that they don't live in the sea.

[you_tried]

So they should be used to boats. Which also live in the sea.

[liverletdie]

Boats aren't exactly living.

I say this, as someone who, you know, spends most of my day with technology.

[you_tried]

That doesn't make you a dolphin expert!

[liverletdie]

But I'm a living being, and I'm pretty sure we can all sympathize with how they're feeling right now.

[you_tried]

Look, I'll donate a bunch of money to one of those save the dolphins campaigns, I'll do whatever, I don't hate the flippy little bastards or anything, I just want to be left alone!

[liverletdie]

Oh no, you did this on the network.

You're never going to live this one down.