05 | text | backdated to nov 4

[deadtective]

[anyone who's been unfortunate enough to have Hazel stumble through their inbox in recent hours may have an inkling as to what this post is about. everyone else...good luck, sorry.]

I don't actually have a goddamn thing to say to any of you people. I'm just making this post because I can.

I mean, shit, look at me. Typing up a post! With legible sentences!! Completely fucking coherent without a single goddamn mistyped word to be found! Spellcheck couldn't keep up with me if it wanted to, my fingers are flying across the keys so fast.

And do you know why? Because I fucking won. I blasted those goddamn moon runes and their bullshit back into Jupiter's orbit where they belong. Somebody WHO KNOWS EXACTLY WHO HE IS tried to bring me down with that alien garbage and he couldn't do it!!! Nobody can fucking beat me. Nobody.

Fuck!! I feel like I should be building a tower out of Webster's dictionaries and planting an American flag at the top or something. At the very least I should go price that shit out; just being able to read all these webpages again is making me cry.

[for someone who 'didn't have a goddamn thing to say' she sure is excitedly rambling. that point is lost on Hazel, unfortunately.]

Comments

[deadtective]

I already did, it's right up there in the post.

[fuorilegge]

that you won

that thing with the moon runes?

[deadtective]

Exactly. See, it's not that hard!

[fuorilegge]

no it dosent what is the rune thing? is it some sorta game?

[deadtective]

No, it's a bullshit garbage language that only weirdos from completely different planets can decipher.

[fuorilegge]

what wait like martians?

[deadtective]

I'm suspecting a moon of Jupiter in this case, but it's the same general idea.

[fuorilegge]

whats the diffrence

so you speak it now and then what?

[deadtective]

I don't speak it, fucking hell no. I can't even read that shit.

[fuorilegge]

wait you dont

then what was this all about

[deadtective]

I got rid of it, obviously. It's fucking gone forever.

[fuorilegge]

now thats just balony

[deadtective]

Wanna bet? If it was I wouldn't be talking to you right now.

[fuorilegge]

why cuz the martians will kill you?

[deadtective]

Aliens don't have any better of a chance at killing me than anyone else. I just meant that I wouldn't be able to read my fucking keyboard.

[fuorilegge]

huh why not?


for both

[deadtective]

A) because my superpower is being tough as shit and b) because I can't fucking read that garbage, I already told you that.

[fuorilegge]

RNET THESE KEYBORAS IN ENGLISH

[guess who hit the capslock accidentally HOW DO YOU FIX THIS]

[deadtective]

Whoa man, no need to get so excited about it.

[she knows this can't possibly be intentional, but that's never stopped Hazel from teasing before]

[fuorilegge]

IM NOT EXCITED

THIS Dmn thing wont stop

[oh there we go]

[deadtective]

Is that the excuse you're using? It's a pretty shitty one, man.