05 | text | backdated to nov 4

[deadtective]

[anyone who's been unfortunate enough to have Hazel stumble through their inbox in recent hours may have an inkling as to what this post is about. everyone else...good luck, sorry.]

I don't actually have a goddamn thing to say to any of you people. I'm just making this post because I can.

I mean, shit, look at me. Typing up a post! With legible sentences!! Completely fucking coherent without a single goddamn mistyped word to be found! Spellcheck couldn't keep up with me if it wanted to, my fingers are flying across the keys so fast.

And do you know why? Because I fucking won. I blasted those goddamn moon runes and their bullshit back into Jupiter's orbit where they belong. Somebody WHO KNOWS EXACTLY WHO HE IS tried to bring me down with that alien garbage and he couldn't do it!!! Nobody can fucking beat me. Nobody.

Fuck!! I feel like I should be building a tower out of Webster's dictionaries and planting an American flag at the top or something. At the very least I should go price that shit out; just being able to read all these webpages again is making me cry.

[for someone who 'didn't have a goddamn thing to say' she sure is excitedly rambling. that point is lost on Hazel, unfortunately.]

Comments

[deadtective]

Nah, don't bother. That shit won't change anything.

[maime]

you think you
a civilian
can get the jump on me
a career soldier
?

[That hubris is exactly why she's going to outsmart you, Maine.]

[deadtective]

Considering the choices I've seen you make so far..? I think the coffee table could probably get the jump on you.

[maime]

see if you're still saying that when I put a bullet in your forehead

[What an unnecessary escalation]

[deadtective]

Drop the entire clip in there, see how much good it does you.

[maime]

NOT THE POINT
point is you won't see it coming

[deadtective]

Because I won't even notice when it happens, yeah.

[maime]

what
how

[He's not entirely clear what it is that makes Hazel special, he realizes.]

[deadtective]

I told you already, didn't I? You're not gonna be able to do a fucking thing to me.

[maime]

didn't explain why
lots of different reasons

[deadtective]

Why ruin the surprise?

[maime]

don't like surprises

[Nonsense like this is probably WHY]

[deadtective]

All the more reason, then.

[maime]

>:(
don't like you

[deadtective]

Don't caaaaare. C: