4 - voice

[lackey]

[Mike's first audio network post is a little noisy: there's a busy road somewhere near him and, every once in a while, a small-sounding dog barks.]

Lost another month, last month. Hear 'bout that happenin' a lot. Good thing, though. If you didn't know it was happenin' to other people, too, might start thinkin' that you were goin' nuts. Or that the government was screwin' with you. Or that you got abducted by aliens... After gettin' abducted by the god machine. That'd be somethin'.

Anyway.

I was gonna ask what happened last month, but I figured I could just guess what happened. So, guessin' now.

[He clears his throat, coughs lightly.]

Last month! October? Starts out real quiet, just like it is now. Then, around the middle of the month, the Russians show up. I mean, show up. Like in boats. You ever see that movie with the guys? The guys wearin' short shorts and capes? There were like 200 or 400 of 'em or something. But in the movie, the big enemy army all showed up in boats. The guys look out at the ocean and it's like shit, that's a lot of boats. That's how it was last month. With the Russians.

Then there's a big battle, right? US soldiers and heroes versus Russians. And it lasts like a week? No, two weeks. Two weeks for sure. Total bloodbath. People dyin' all over. The soldiers and you heroes are puttin' up one hell of a fight, but the Russians keep comin'. There's just so many of 'em and it turns out they've got those power-blockin' things?

By the end of the month, they're winnin'. They're winnin' and they're about to take over.

[A pause for effect.]

Why don't they? 'Cause a hero stops 'em. He gets clear of their uh... blockin' things... And this hero has like... You ever see that other movie about the guy with the, uh... knife thing? Full of sand? Magic sand? And that guy could rewind time with his magic sand knife? That's what this hero did. Except like a power instead of a knife. Or maybe he had that knife? Or a similar knife? Don't know if the movie was based on a true story or not. Probably not. Sometimes they do that, they tell you it's based on a true story and they're lyin'...

But yeah. That's my guess. Which means it's not November now, it's still October, and you guys probably only have a couple days before the Russians show up again? Kinda sucks, if I'm right. I'd keep an eye out for those boats if I were you.

Comments

[lackey]

I don't know. Sometimes people use one word when they really mean another word. Gun's what I would use. And the barrel's kind of like a rolled up newspaper? Only real skinny.

[textualhealing]

Mike. No. Bad dog, don't use a gun.

[lackey]

Knife?

[textualhealing]

That's somehow worse. How about we don't kill or maim anyone?

[lackey]

But we're talkin' about people biting.

[textualhealing]

You don't shoot people for biting! If that were true, pretty much every woman I ever slept with would have to be shot.

[lackey]

Dude! ... That's a different kind of biting!

[textualhealing]

Okay fine. But can we just ensure that any kind of biting is met with a punch at worst?

[lackey]

[The most reluctant grumble ever:] Gonna have to work on my right hook.

[textualhealing]

So that means you're working for me again, right? Protecting me from all the biters?

[lackey]

Was thinkin' more about protectin' myself.

[textualhealing]

You can protect me while you protect you. Do you really want the guilt of me dying when it could have all been protected by your skilled hands?

[lackey]

But the government would bring you back if you died.

[textualhealing]

Maybe. I don't wanna take that risk. Also the pain factor. And dying isn't particularly attractive.

[lackey]

... You're somethin' else, dude.

[textualhealing]

Which is a good thing, right?

[lackey]

[No comment this time, Jeff ol' buddy ol' pal.]

I'll see you soon. With the green.

[textualhealing]

[Silence is so rude.]

You're the bestest buddy a guy could have. I'll see you later, Mike.