009 ★ Video

[unbreaker]

[School has let out for the day by the time this broadcast goes up. You can tell because Josuke hasn't changed out of his uniform. (Never mind Heropa High doesn't require uniforms. Or the fact that Josuke wears his uniform a lot.) He's seated cross-legged on the carpeted floor of his bedroom which, for those of you who know that it's usually overrun with animals, happens to be curiously quiet today.]

So, uh...

[He raises his right hand and scratches lightly at his chin.]

I guess it's been sort of a while since I had anything to say on the Network? Sorry about that.

[It's really weird thinking he hasn't made a post for a couple of months. Not that he hasn't been around on other peoples', driving them nuts by pushing their buttons. In fact, one of those people is even responsible for Josuke feeling the need to make this post!]

Anyway, I actually got a couple of things I wanna talk about today! First up, Veterans Day just passed...we don't celebrate that back home, but we got Self-Defense Force Day and it's pretty much the same thing. You know, for remembering the people we've lost to wars. I figured since we're fightin' a war and we've had casualties, too—lost people either due to the fighting or the Porter—we deserve a way to remember 'em by. So, uh...I set up a message board for doing just that.

[Briefly, Josuke leans forward to take up his comm and tap out a LINK that soon appears onscreen for everybody to access. The comm's set back down again in front of him, then. Probably on a stack of school textbooks and homework he'll forget to do until five minutes before class Monday.]

If you got people you miss who aren't here no more, check it out. You can say something about 'em, or say what you'd have said if you'd been given a chance to say goodbye.

The other thing is, and it's pretty important, too... [Josuke's eyes narrow, his expression becoming serious.] ...even if Halloween did just pass, there's been more talk of fear lately than I think's healthy for anyone. Especially 'cause there hasn't been as much talk in circulation about how to overcome our fears.

I'm not an expert, but I do know the first step to owning your own fears is not running from 'em. It's not supposed to be easy, so don't get discouraged if at first you feel like it's gonna be impossible. I promise, it's not. Take a look around you and see how many people you got supporting you? A whole imPort community, some of 'em probably from your home. You can do this. And this is how.

[This is it, this is what this post has been building up to.

Josuke's gaze flicks to the side, towards something off screen, and while he tries to keep his expression militant, it's obvious in the arch of his brows and the faint grimace curling his lips that he doesn't want to do this. And why? Well, because he's afraid.

Afraid of the turtle he suddenly scoops up and holds out in view of the camera. Its little feet waggle nonthreatening in thin air and, as its tiny head slowly pokes around from left to right, it's clear that it's trying to make sense of what's going on.]

You just gotta...reach out and grab your fears with both hands. L-like so. And tell 'em, "You don't got me! I got you."

[Because he really looks like he's got this, right? But at least he's trying!]

A-and that's how you do it!

[Now, uh...how does he turn off the broadcast without looking like he's in too much of a hurry to set the turtle back down again? Looks like using his toes will have to suffice!]

Comments

WHAT ABOUT IF I DUCT TAPE YOUR HANDS TO YOUR FACE

[unbreaker]

I don't think the point is that they have feelings, it's that people just associate colors with feelings. 'Cause I guess, like...certain tones make people feel different ways.

Like, blue can be sad, but it can also be called cold, calming or attributed to honesty and purity!

And yellow's a warm color people see as cheerful, but it can also be meant as cowardly? Like when you call someone yellow-bellied.

...I guess it is kinda weird, but hey, you'll get the hang of it in no time!

i could probably still tag lbr

[oceanthief]

...what about orange?

[she seems to have something specific in mind with the question, since her expression grows a bit more solemn. Josuke mentioning that colors could evoke different feelings stirs up some memories of her own - and, well, she's curious when she wants to be. Lapis wants to see if earth matches her own perspective, even accidentally.]

B|

[unbreaker]

Orange?

[Josuke pauses to think about that one a little bit before answering.]

Hm...it's another warm color, but it kinda makes you feel adventuresome and willing to take risks, excited, confident and optimistic.

[Lapis...doesn't sound too happy, though.]

Why? Did you...have something specific in mind you were thinking about?

don't be upset because it's true

[oceanthief]

[hm. that was Jasper, but every trait taken to their most disgusting extremes - nothing positive, everything warped, transformed into some hideous force that destroyed everything it touched and would not stop.

Lapis' gaze drops off-camera to her hands in her lap for a moment, curling them into tight little fists. none of that had followed her here (yet) but the bitterness rises in her mouth as if it were just yesterday. she wishes she could spit the whole thing out like a bad taste.]

...just someone from my world. [she looks up again, shrugging] Every gem has a color, and they can't change it no matter what shape they take.

huffs puuuushes face awaaaaay

[unbreaker]

[Just someone from her world, Lapis says, but Josuke gets the distinct feeling the gem she's talking about isn't 'just' anybody. Looking at her, she appears tense. Not the Lapis he's used to, but then, that's no reason to turn her away.

Actually, it just makes him all the more curious and concerned...]

I'm guessing they're a gem [is that the right term, he wonders???] you don't really get along with?

That's not really surprising, though...because blue and orange are complementary colors. 'Extreme opposites' in other words.

you can't escaaaaaaaape

[oceanthief]

[extreme opposites? now that was a funny thing for earth to get right unknowingly. even Lapis hadn't really known just how opposed the two were before they'd fused - and now they were in each others' minds constantly, fighting tooth and nail for control of their own body. was there a stronger word than extreme? she feels like it's necessary here.

still, the information makes her laugh, a sound completely devoid of the hesitant humor from earlier. Lapis hadn't seen any other option than what she'd done at the time, and little things like this that obliquely confirmed there was no other possibility were...not funny, but something. she had no idea what.]

I guess Homeworld and earth have a little more in common than I thought.

[or maybe Jasper had influenced their understanding of the color during the war - but that was just falling into the mistake of building her up as some legendary monster. Jasper was a gem, the same as herself - and she could be contained, could be broken. it was heinous, but Lapis had set out an achievable goal for herself at home.]

Her name is Jasper. You'll know when she shows up here...she'll probably come looking for me first if she can work the communicator.

[it's mean, and Lapis does not caaaaare. there's no way Jasper's arrogant and dismissive personality would allow her to stoop to fussing with primitive technology the minute it gave her a whisper of difficulty.]

stares at miserably . . . i almost tagged you with yuri instead oops

[unbreaker]

When you say she'll come looking for you...

[No, he doesn't really need to ask. If anything, Lapis' tone tells him everything he needs to know. Jasper will cause trouble for Lapis. Probably even mean to do her harm.b>]

...well, if she does, remember that you've got friends who'll help you out.

[It goes without saying he's one of those friends. Lapis could be fighting off nuclear war and Josuke would still have her back.]

Anyway...is there anything else our world's got in common with yours?

what's the difference really

[oceanthief]

[there are a few people (Josuke included, apparently? when did he decide this???) that Lapis suspects would want to help her when Jasper arrived. it's sweetly misguided, which is exactly why she has no intention of letting them lend their aid. Jasper was her responsibility now, and she'd deal with her alone. they didn't have to be on their version of this planet for that to hold true.

in the meantime...well, it's still a nice thought. it coaxes a fond little shake of her head before Lapis moves on to answer his question.]

There isn't much. You have some inorganic parts, and we can grow gems here...and that's about it.

[her nose wrinkles delicately, broadcasting her distaste even when she's not being overt about it for once. earth was so different from home, and sometimes that still managed to boggle her even after five thousand years.]

...how can you even ask that

[unbreaker]

[Josuke had decided when Lapis accepted his invitation to come visit, because that was the precise moment he'd considered her to be his friend. And is it any wonder? She'd been quite nice; even his miniature zoo had loved her company. How could he, in good conscience, let anything bad happen to her?]

Well, sometimes it's better not to have too much in common with people. It means there's not gonna be a shortage of new things to learn about each other any time soon.

[A statement that can both apply to humans and gems in general, but also to Josuke and Lapis.]

Maybe you'll even find some differences you really like.

by putting a question mark at the end obvs

[oceanthief]

Not here.

[she probably wouldn't be so emphatic if she knew that he was using this as a comparison for their acquaintanceship, but Lapis really can't pick up on nuances like that very well and so only responds to the overt meaning. and that? well, it's abundantly clear that she'd never come to enjoy everything that set this place so far apart from Homeworld. not when it's earth.]

ok but u didnt have one

[unbreaker]

[...Josuke doesn't take it personally because Lapis doesn't seem the sort to intentionally wound other peoples' feelings.]

I'm not gonna hold you to that—because I think I'd rather give you a good reason to change your mind.

it's shy

[oceanthief]

I wouldn't bother.

[it actually comes out sounding like advice rather than anything dismissive.

Lapis has nothing but bad memories and hatred for this planet - and it had taken five thousand years of forced solitude to find a single shred of goodness to try and balance against them. her luck just wasn't kind enough to allow her to miraculously find something pleasant about earth that she'd overlooked during her last few visits; it was cruel and pointless to let anyone waste their time on such an endeavor.]

more like it's a LIE

[unbreaker]

Why not? I mean, even if you think it's a lost cause, I don't really believe in them...so I'm probably gonna try anyway.

wow way to make fun of it when it's trying its hardest in a social situation

[oceanthief]

It took me five thousand years to find one thing that justified being anywhere near this planet. You don't have that kind of time.

how was it trying it didn't even show up, not even upside down

[unbreaker]

[Five thousand years...]

But you still found something, right? So that means there's hope. And when there's hope, I don't give up.

it thought about it really hard and then cried in the bathroom for hours instead of showing up

[oceanthief]

He's not here. There's nothing really hopeful about it.

[and Lapis loves Steven, more than she's ever loved another being, but even she knows that their friendship had brought nothing but more pain and hardship down on the both of them. could she really handle having another reason like that without breaking? she doesn't know the answer.]

jfc what a loser

[unbreaker]

Well...he could show up. There's always that.

wow excuse you

[oceanthief]

I don't want him to.

[unbreaker]

...why not, though?

[oceanthief]

Once someone else from my world shows up here, they're all going to start coming. Especially if it's Steven.

[unbreaker]

How's that a bad thing, though? You shouldn't have to be alone, Lapis. And I'm sure if your friends knew you were here, they'd wanna keep you company same as your friends here do.

[...he's assuming, based on the fact he likes hanging out with her. Never mind they've only hung out once. That's beside the point.]

[oceanthief]

They're not my friends.

[her tone and expression harden as she makes the distinction, shoulders hiking up like just the mention has her unconsciously preparing for a struggle. Steven is her friend, but the rest of the Crystal Gems are almost as much of a problem as anyone from Homeworld would be. even if they decide not to pursue her, she doesn't want to have to look at the people who'd just left her there.]

[unbreaker]

I feel like you're missing the point.

[oceanthief]

You just don't understand everything.

[there's no derisive quality to her words, nothing more than a statement of fact. there were thousands of years of history and resentment wrapped up in the gems who could come bursting through the Porter at any minute, only complicated by Steven's existence. there's no way anyone could understand her position without being told.]

[unbreaker]

I understand you have at least one friend back home who probably misses you, because I know I would if I were him.