[ video ]

[enucleation]

[ kaneki comes to video and he is wearing glasses. They are round, big and a bit ridiculous, so enjoy that. He is sitting at his desk, now covered in books – some are about martial arts, war, fighting, but there are some novels among them like Murakami, Kafka, Hemmingway. There are also some sketches that he did, of random flowers and bugs. Behind him, his room is spotless, though; very clean and tidy, with a lot of books on the shelves behind him. He is a bookworm, after all ]

Hello. [ he bows his head politely ] I want to let you know that Hinami Fueguchi was ported out last month. I’ve told Mabel, but I know she had other friends. [ his expression darkens a bit, and Kaneki pokes his own glasses to put them in a better position. With a sigh, he continues] Moving on…

I don’t celebrate Christmas but last year I did celebrate New Years and bought cupcakes for everyone. [ he smiles a bit awkwardly, touching his own chin ] This year I’ll do Sweet Mochi cakes by myself. I know it’s weird. [ since he can’t eat food. ] but I’ll need a tester, so if anyone would like to give me a hand, I’d appreciate it a lot. There will be nothing strange in them, I promise. 


Finally, and unrelated to the holidays, I’d like to know if anyone is up for sparring. I have… [ a pause. How does he explain this? “I have deadly tentacles and I want to use them”. Nah, that doesn’t sound good. ] I have a natural weapon inside of my body, so to speak, and I want to use it. It’s very dangerous, though, so I’m looking for someone who can take a hit.

That will be all, thank you.

Comments

[deadtective]

You're just making shit up now.

[enucleation]

Alright. So it's fine if we talk about Josuke, right?

[deadtective]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT BUT SURE! IT'S SO FINE!!!

[enucleation]

Why the capslock?

[deadtective]

THAT'S JUST HOW FINE IT IS

[enucleation]

Aha, I think I might have teased you too much-

[deadtective]

I said it's fucking fine.

[enucleation]

How are you two?

[deadtective]

Great! So great!! Amazing!

[enucleation]

Have you two figured things out?

[deadtective]

There wasn't anything to figure out in the first place I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about!!

[enucleation]

So that's a no? I was hoping you would have.

Dating can be fun.

[deadtective]

[they are dating so hard, Kaneki. he took her horseback riding and last week they spent the whole day cuddling on the beach. so hard.]

Yeah, well. Even he's not that stupid.

[enucleation]

[ YES GOOD HAZEL ]

Congratulations. I was wondering when it'd finally happen.

[deadtective]

[-WAIT A MINUTE]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

[enucleation]

Don't try to backtrack now, we were getting somewhere.

[deadtective]

We're not getting anywhere, you're making shit up!!

[enucleation]

Is it so difficult to admit you two like each other?

[deadtective]

I like him just fine! I wouldn't fucking hang around him if I didn't.

[that's not what he means and she knows it.]

[enucleation]

Fine.

And love?

[deadtective]

[WHOA THERE BUDDY CAREFUL WITH DROPPING THOSE DANGEROUS WORDS]

What does that have aaaaanything to do with what we're talking about?

[enucleation]

Everything (=

[deadtective]

I think you're having a much fucking different conversation here than I am!!!

[enucleation]

Is that so? Do you want to change subject? I thought you were "so fine" with talking about Josuke.

[deadtective]

As long as what we're talking about with him makes sense!!!