Entry #003 | Video

[quaerit]

[ Good evening, imports. Gansey's face is front and centre in this video. He's sitting at a desk of some kind, and the room he's in is large and predominantly wooden. Apart from that, few details can be seen. He's mounted the camera rather than holding it. His hair is attractively tousled and his expression is the kind associated with an address to the nation. ]

I wanted to thank you, all of you, who helped to bring us home. I don't think I can adequately express how good it was to see American soil again. I'm grateful for that, and to you. I know that many of you took great, personal risks on behalf of the captives. Thank you, truly, for all that you've done.

[ That sounded very solemn. It's nothing compared to what's coming, though. Gansey looks as serious as he's ever managed here, an expression that makes him appear far older than his years. ]

Unfortunately, I also have something to tell you. The Russian A.I. spoke to me in captivity. LACKEY's perspective was a useful one, but it was also disturbing.

Our lives here have been comfortable. The American Government has been welcoming, there's no doubt about that. I was always keen to play by their rules. I thought that asking us to Register was understandable. After all, we're essentially refugees, relying on their good will to have any form of freedom here. I Registered. I was happy to.

[ That's very much a past tense. He leans back in his seat, expression shifting just a little. He looks less polished, and more thoughtful; scholarly where he'd previously been political. ]

It's fair to say, the last week has given me ample time to consider that position. How LACKEY, and its Russian masters see us, was very clear to me. [ Gansey spreads his hands. He smiles slightly, careful and controlled. ] If Registration is intended to give us the rights of a citizen, it was roundly ignored. We were not foreign nationals, we were not Prisoners of War. We were not people, at all.

We were - are, in their eyes - no more than weapons, which they fully intended to use. It was the Russian view that the Americans have mishandled us, spoiled us, and that we are possessions of theirs.

[ His smile disappears, and his eyes hold a spark of anger. ]

I don't know what your feelings on that may be, but I can tell you mine. I have no desire to be a weapon in the Russians' hands. Neither do I have any intention to do the same for the Americans. I know that many of you are fighters. Many are soldiers, and for you, military action is second nature. That's not the case for everyone. We are not all fighters - but we all have powers, and my concern now is not just how the Russians wish to make use of us, but how this country will. It's clear that the power we have is desired by both sides. It's my opinion that Registration is going to mean fighting with, and for this country's military, and sooner rather than later - whether we would choose that, or not.

[ He thinks a draft is inevitable, in other words. If imports are such a valuable commodity to the Russians, they'll be just as much of one to the Americans. They are, to date at least, the only people in the world with powers like theirs. How long can the US really be expected to ignore that, if their enemies are already open about their intent? ]

That's why I can't support it anymore. I'm not saying any of this to frighten anyone. With all that's happened, I think you should know how we're seen, and make your own decision.

I'm sorry to end this on a sour note. I really am grateful to everyone who helped us, including the military. It's simply that, I wouldn't carry a gun. I certainly don't want to be one.

Comments

video; i am so sorry

[brushoff]

Too long, didn't listen! [ said in a tone that's pure 'I'm being a shithead' ]

video; omfg

[quaerit]

[ He's going to take back your Honorary Raven membership card.

Drily. ]

And yet you waited until the end just to tell me so? I'm trying to be serious here, Dorian.

[instars]

The perils of communism haunt us all.

Hello, Gansey.

[quaerit]

If Communism was the only problem, I wouldn't be saying this.

[ Not that he's a fan of that, either. But still. He offers Saya a slight smile. ]

Hello, Saya. Are you well?

video

[rathercommon]

[ A little quietly: ]

If a draft happens, though, it happens. They're going to come for us, regardless of whether or not we register.

video

[quaerit]

[ Ah.

Yes, Kitty. Gansey watches her for a moment, expression hard to read. ]

That doesn't mean we need to offer it up front. I'm surprised you aren't agreeing with me, Kitty. You wanted to avoid the fighting, if I remember right.

video;

[leonized]

You really think they'll make us fight? What if our powers aren't useful to them?

[He's the one who mentioned it... and Leon's powers were kind of useless, in his opinion.]

video;

[quaerit]

I'm not sure they've considered that angle. They seem to think we're all the equivalent of a bomb about to go off.

[ Which, in fairness, some of them are. Gansey frowns. ]

You think you wouldn't be useful to them, then.

video;

[112ounces]

When I first arrived, I registered. Not because I care about America - my America is dead and rotting, literally - but because I was alone and I had to do what it takes to survive. I didn't think of it, because I was trying to live in a world that's actually alive. I don't think anyone has any idea how hard it is to adjust to that.

When my dad showed up, he went on the network and said the exact same thing you said. And people laugh at his face.

But I don't know what it means for me f I revoke my own status. I still need the benefits in order to support my dad and I.

video;

[quaerit]

[ Gansey's immediate thought is to wonder why it's the boy who's providing for his father.

But then, he'd been in captivity with this boy. Carl is resilient, and given the kind of past he's describing, it's very clear why. ]

There's no doubt that you would lose out on their benefits. You'd be responsible for your own employment, paying your own bills. Finding your own medical insurance, all of those things. It's easier, of course, to take what they give.

[ Gansey lifts his shoulders. He had never done it for the handouts. Actually needing handouts had been a new situation for him, and one he hadn't enjoyed. The truth is, he hasn't relied on any of that for months. ]

Registration is more than benefits. What would happen if you were required to go to war, because you had signed the Register and given them your allegiance. Your father would be left here, or required to join up with you. That's what I'm worried Registration will be worth.

Permavid

[governorkang]

I have been reconsidering as well. The Americans have never outright called us weapons, but it has been implied, and it never ceases to rankle no matter how many benefits they give us - this would not be the first time my kind has been considered as such by others.

[quaerit]

[ It's a relief to hear that others are thinking the same thing. Gansey is far from immune to doubt. ]

I'm sorry to hear that. It's not something I've experienced before, and I know already that I don't want to hear it again.

The Americans have encouraged us to fight for them in their own way. It's a good deal more palatable than the Russians' way, but still, it makes me concerned. It's clear that we're already standing between them in this war. Offering to be a gun in one of their hands just seems wrong.

[mightthinkthat]

You're going to be 'turned into a weapon' like it or not, you know.

Not because the American government tells you but because the Russian government will continue to attack you regardless of your state of registration. It's a meaningless gesture that won't buy you any real favours. In their eyes, even more of a reason to attack, because America can't even get you to sign a meaningless promise not to hurt them.

[inmyothertights]

Oh my god-

You are an elected official. You can't pressure teenagers this way, do you understand that?

[quaerit]

[ All it takes is the presence of Urquhart for Gansey’s scholarly manner to slide away, replacing itself at once with the same officious confidence with which he’d greet every Senator he’s ever met. ]

I would be more than happy to sign a promise not to hurt them, Ambassador.

[ Gansey lifts his shoulders. That’s not what his issue with any of this has ever been. ]

If they’d like I’ll go further, and declare neutrality across the board. That’s what I’d like. This isn’t my world, and anything else aside, I think it’s fundamentally wrong for me to interfere with the political situation here.

[ He doesn’t want to get involved, does not think that imports as a whole should get involved. ]

To boil Registration down to a statement of non-intent is to simplify it too far. It’s much more than that, and simplifying it in any sense is a mistake that put me in this position in the first place. It asks for allegiance to the military, specifically.

During a time of peace, that may mean nothing more than abiding by this nation’s laws, which is a promise I was – and remain – more than happy to keep. During a time of war, it has a different connotation. It gives the impression that we will not only fight, but fight on behalf of this country. That, they say, is what it means to be a hero – something I take separate issue with, since in my view, a true hero would protect people from harm regardless of where they’re from.

That’s an aside. [ For all that Gansey talks of neutrality, he has a definite political air. He’s even aware of it, and happily using it. ] I don’t doubt that the Russians will continue to threaten us. Given what they’ve said, I expect it. But there is a difference between defending myself, and the people around me, and being deployed as a Registered soldier. The former is what we must all be prepared to do. The latter is what I fear will happen, to those who remain on that list.

video.

[glowsferatu]

[ Kanaya greets the post somberly, deep in thought, avoiding eye contact with the camera. ]

I have no intention of being made into a weapon. Not again, or on anyone's terms but my own. But this is a war being fought over us, according to all indications. Some participation is going to be inevitable. But not all participation is going to demand combat.

Either way, I doubt that registration is really going to have much effect on the part we play in it. If anything, it will give us more options in what part that can be than otherwise.

[ She runs a hand through her hair to push it back out of her forehead before finally looking up. ] And if I'm wrong, and our current hosts should prove no better, then we'll fight that too. I've been promising that for the last two years, and that hasn't changed now.

I understand that you're afraid, and that the current circumstances have given you good reason to be cautious. But I don't think the choice you're making now will provide as much protection as you're hoping for.

video.

[quaerit]

[ Gansey hadn't been here for the history Kanaya refers to. He was here for her most recent admission, though, and the thought visibly chastens him. He hadn't considered that, before he'd posted, so before he goes into anything else, he says: ]

I didn't mean to bring up bad memories. You'd know better than most how it feels to be used.

[ What happened to her is something Gansey could not bear. He keeps such an intense control over himself that the thought of someone taking that away is truly terrible. His face darkens. ]

I don't think refusing to Register will protect us from what's happening. I'm not saying this because I'm afraid - or at least, not only because of that.

[ He is afraid. But fear can be managed. It can be faced; in fact, it has to be. He sees this as a form of strength. ]

I expect the fighting to come to us. I believe entirely that the Russians will bring it here, that's certainly what their A.I. implied. But there is a difference, I think, between fighting back, and offering to fight. The offer is what I don't want to make, and that's what Registration is. Allegiance to the military, that's what it says.

I won't be a hypocrite. I won't make a promise that I know I can't keep.

video;

[bassriff]

Been thinking this for months. I'm not gonna be beholden to these arrogant-- [She growls, a discordant and layered sound, her eyes narrowing to slits. Her voice normalizes before she speaks again.]

We're not weapons. I'd like to see them try to point me at a target. [Marceline's not really thinking this through, but she doesn't care. Full-stop, she's fighting this.]

Re: video;

[quaerit]

[ There it is. Gansey recognizes that anger. It's what he's been feeling all along, though he's considerably more careful about presenting it.

Part of that is because, on top of the anger, he's still afraid. ]

I wouldn't. But I think they will try, and I think it won't be very long until they do. If it's our power they want, there's only so many ways this can end.

I won't be beholden to them, either.

[vorbarra]

Hello, Gansey. I'm glad you're back safe and sound.

[ And he is honestly glad. Gregor takes a moment to acknowledge that before plunging into the messy political part; there's even a verbal pause. ]

So you're a conscientious objector? We don't really have those on Barrayar. [ It seems like a luxury, honestly, but Gregor isn't here to criticize on the basis of privilege. That would be laughable. ] I understand from a pacifistic standpoint, if that's how you fall out, but refusing any governmental allegiance whatsoever seems like less protection rather than more.

[quaerit]

Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

[ What understatement. Gansey is doing his level best not to think too hard about that prison. But Miles was there with him. Greg will already be informed, he thinks. ]

Not to put too fine a point on it, but being Registered didn't protect me last week. We were all in the same boat, Registered or otherwise. Literally, in fact.

I object to the notion that we are weapons to be used. I object, also, to the idea that we should become a bargaining chip in the politics of a whole other world, one to which we never chose to come and have no apparent say over how long we stay. I don't think there is anything that can stop this war from touching us, but an allegiance with the military seems like a ticket to the front lines. For what choice that remains to me, I know that's not where I want to be.

Video

[timeshares]

Good to see you back, man.

[There's a pause here, deciding what to say and how much, before Luke simply settles with:]

You know what? I'm just going to second every gods damned word there.

Video

[quaerit]

[ Of course, Gansey is not surprised. He smiles at Luke, lifting his eyebrow just a little. ]

No 'I told you so'? I seem to recall you promised me one.

[Voice]

[inchesofevil]

Welcome back.

And welcome to the dark side, I guess. I'm just worried we'll hit a point where registered or not doesn't even make a fucking difference anymore.

[Voice]

[quaerit]

Thanks, Heimdall.

I think it always makes a difference. What you choose for yourself matters. You can't choose whether or not you'll be caught up in someone else's fight, but that's different from giving them your allegiance.

[ Which is his point, really. Even Gansey would fight to defend himself if it came to that. He just thinks here's a difference between defending himself and joining an army, that's all. ]