MTT-BRAND VLOG!: #1 - Hello, lovelies! ♥

[showybusiness]

[ There's a ridiculously good-looking, well-polished and styled android on the screen. Or is it an android? For some folks who have - SOMEHOW - not heard of him or seen him, Mettaton looks feminine enough to be mistaken for a lady robot. The flawless metal-safe eyeliner, purple gradient eyeshadow and lip gloss doesn't help, but dang.

He gives a thousand-watt smile, giving a cute little wave at the camera while winking, his voice silky, a little campy, but clearly male - and with a noticeable synthetic, artificial sound to it. Tinny, almost. Like when a computer's text-to-voice program is used, but not nearly as flat and unsexy. ]

Welcome to MTT-Brand Vlogs, number one! Goodness, it's like I get to talk to my diary rather than write it! I like this little charming piece of technology. If only I could do a bit more editing... and having guests on is a little tougher, maybe? Hmm. These are all just usual little bumps and kinks to work out, aren't they, darlings?

Aaaaaanyway! It seems you surfacers are requiring a bit of education and introduction to monster culture. It's funny, you know - in monster history, for hundreds of years, we learned about how humans sealed us underground, blah blah blah. But up here, nobody knows! Did your historians cover it all up? I know they're a LOT more fond of pumping out bad cartoons rather than telling that story.

I'll forgive you, though, because you're all so cute. And I'm here to promote things! So, if you want to do the right thing and help a handsome, sexy robot from the monster world, you SHOULD check out the tv show he's hosting! That's right, darlings from all over the world: GLAM CAM! Is the imPort Gossip Show, and I, the gorgeous Mettaton, will be hosting it every week! Lots of juicy little secrets and embarrassments are waiting to be put out onto the stage!

See you soon, darlings!

[ He blows a little kiss at the viewer, batting his long, perfect eyelashes. ]

Comments

video;

[cleptes]

Shameless self-promotion. It's like you've taken a page from my book.

[ She doesn't seem fazed by the fact that he's a robot. ]

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ He shrugs, huge pointy shoulder pads rising and falling. ]

Is there any other kind of promotion? You don't get any attention by being passive.

video;

[rideme]

...

Well.

How you doing?

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ His chuckle is light, airy, and flirtatious. Ah, another monster, so desperately in love with him. Business as usual, just like in the underground. ]

I'm always fabulous, darling.

video;

[fuckinstoplights]

[Well, since this one is... clearly robotic, and announcing it so openly... he'll use video feed. Even though half of what this guy is saying doesn't make any sense to his poor, sheltered bird brain.]

You...

You're also an AI?

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ Mettaton's face zooms right into the screen, his pink eyes glowing brightly; his pupils are heart-shaped, and seem to practically be fluttering in excitement. ]

Ooooooo!!!! You're another robot!

[video]

[wizzardly]

You're a monster? Really? ...No offense, but you're really not like any sort of monster I've seen before.

[actually Mettaton doesn't look like anything Rincewind has seen before.]

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ He nods, flawless, shiny robot hair bouncing. So voluminous and sleek. ]

I didn't always look like this! I just wanted to look like something more... familiar to humans. I used to be a cute little rectangle.

[ To aid in his description, he draws a rectangle in the air with both index fingers. ]

[ video ]

[enucleation]

It depends on what you call a monster.

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

Well, darling, I know human media likes to use the term "monster" in a very offensive, negative way - usually for ugly people. The kind that was ugly inside, you know? But us monsters come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities! Some are "bad," yes, but the derogatory use of "monster" to describe other humans is horrible!

[pobrecisco]

imPort gossip show, huh?

[ He's interested in the robotness of this all, but he knows that wanting to take apart sentient individuals is decidedly not cool. ]

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ He claps his gloved (?) hands together excitedly, all smiles. ]

Of course, darling! Just reading this network and watching folks' vlog posts? Goodness me.

audio;

[dragony]

Not every "human" world has a "monster" world to go with it. Some do, but it doesn't always go that way, either.

[ The voice is that of a girl, somewhere in her late teens or early twenties; the words are relatively matter-of-fact, but the overall tone is somewhere in the territory of "bored" or "half-asleep." ]

Though, the cartoons are pretty bad, no matter where you go.

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ Oh, he lights right up as she smack talks the animes. FINALLY, someone understands! ]

Aren't they?! Ugh, I was forced to watch sooooo much utter trash. I mean, I love my nerd friend, but her taste is really terrible. Just enjoy your animes without me.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

A gossip show? How intriguing. Are you taking requests?

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ He clasps his hands excitedly. ]

Oooo, maybe! Depends on what material I get to present - I myself don't always do all the digging... but I'll see what I can do.

video.

[glowsferatu]

[ The young woman on the screen certainly doesn't look very human, nor is she quite as glamorous as he is, but she does seem to put a lot of care into her appearance. That she seems to have a permanent weariness on top of it is possibly just an organic failing. ]

Glam Cam, is it? Sounds like something I'll have to keep an eye out for.

Tell me, who does your wardrobe?

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ Wow, she's pretty! A pretty monster! Really, seeing a human would be weirder than whatever she was. ]

Myself! I love dressing up in costumes. I had to pay a lot to get pretty dresses and suits made in a square shape, back when I was more... angular.

Video

[wishedforbread]

So wait are you saying there's a whole civilization of monsters somewhere underground???

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ He nods, pouting slightly and folding his long, metal arms. ]

Back where I'm from, yes, under a mountain! Humans would fall down sometimes, the king would kill them, blah blah blah that's all over with. The point is, now I'm here! And from what I've been seeing? Lots of other monster-type folks, too. A real variety!

Video

[mammal_robot]

[Another robot, though it must be said that this one is less fabulously gorgeous. OR gorgeously fabulous. The voice has a similar quality to it, though]

I...you know I'm actually okay with all of this. This is good. More robot awareness can only benefit us in the long run.

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ Regardless of how fancy the chassis might be, Mettaton is clearly delighted to see another mechanically-bodied individual! The pink hearts in his eyes light up and he leans in close to the screen, his shiny glossy lips parted in a pure, gleeful grin. ]

I'm here to make all robots look absolutely beautiful! Well, just kidding, I'm the gorgeous one, but I definitely make them look good!

[Video]

[goingtogrillbys]

[Oh God, of all the people --

Sans doesn't necessarily have anything against Mettaton. His brother likes him well enough, but... something about him just never sat right with Sans. But still, he'd better say something, even if he's not the cuddly little skeleton he used to be right at the moment.]

Looks like you're settling in right off the bat.

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ Oh, that's a rare type of monster - more rare than ghosts! But equally mysterious. He regards this stranger curiously. ]

I have to be adaptable to all situations, darling!

PERMAVID

[htespagheti]

W... WOWIE!! THE UNDERGROUND'S BIGGEST, MOST RECTANGULARLY ENSHAPENED STAR IS HERE NOW..........!!! IN THE FLESH! EXCEPT YOUR FLESH IS METAL I GUESS, MOST LIKELY DEFINITELY.

CAN I............ GET AN AUTOGRAPH????

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ FINALLY, someone who appreciates him immediately! Well, for his work, rather than his looks. Not that either thing is better than the other! He chuckles, then holds out an empty hand.

It's another skeleton, though. Hmm. These types of monsters were supposed to be very rare... ]

You certainly can, darling! Except, you see, we're not together right now, so my hand's stuck being empty!