003 △ audio

[triangleman]

Hooooooo, boy! Things have sure been interesting around here lately, huh? I sure hope everybody made it to safety without any trouble! Sure has been... Unnerving, back there.

It's almost enough to make you paranoid! Goodness gracious, who could've possibly foreseen something like this? A hostile takeover? In this day and age? [there's a short noise, like he's blowing a raspberry. he can do that now! mouths are great!]

So, what're some other conspiracies we've gotta watch out for? I mean, hey! If the Red Scourge has just been biding its time, what else should we be worrying about? Have airplanes been dropping chemicals on us? Is the president really a lizardman with a clever human disguise? Or maybe some kind of unknowable cosmic nightmare, stuffed into a human skin! [GOSH, he sure is cheery.]

My money's on a faked moon landing. People trying to travel through the endless, unforgiving void of space? Ha! They'd pop like grapes. Several grapes, come to think of it. Or maybe just really big grapes? Point is, it wouldn't be pretty.

Comments

audio

[dendarii]

... Why on earth would someone fake a moon landing?

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Wrong question! More like why wouldn't they.

[dendarii]

Well, people would eventually find out, wouldn't they?

PERMAVID

[showybusiness]

[ A very flamboyant, pretty boy robot leans right into the screen, his pink eyes and their heart pupils lighting up in excitement. ]

PEOPLE HAVE GONE TO THE MOON?!

AUDIO FOR NOW;

[triangleman]

Of course not! That's the problem, dontcha see? Somehow they've managed to convince almost everybody otherwise!

audio;

[givetheslip]

You're taking this awfully lightly.

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Well, hey! You gotta laugh, or you'll go crazy! Right? Right. Hahahahaaa!

voice

[dreamshades]

If anything Russia's all but proven how easy a takeover can be. Throw in a few foolhardy heroes making things incredibly easy for them and anything's possible.

[ Still, coming up with theories hm? This could be fun. ]

I'd say that Russia and America are secretly working together and only putting on the show of a war so they can dominate everywhere.

But, maybe that's a little far fetched.

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Pssh. Yeah, right.

Try to keep it at least somewhat believable, would you?

[voice]

[wizzardly]

Hold on, hold on, are you saying there was a way out to somewhere safe? Why the hell wasn't that made more clear! You'd think someone could have at least gotten a note passed out! Or put one of these posts up around the beginning of this mess, since apparently they're something we aren't worried over anymore!

[HUFF HUFF HUFF. And a pause.]

...Is a man named Chilton down there with you lot?

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Hey, buddy! It's not my fault if you can't stay in the loop! Maybe you gotta pay better attention.

audio;

[ursawhiner]

Okay, first off, people have actually landed on the moon! Maybe not here, but back home it totally happened! Even I know the conspiracy theories about that are completely crazy.

Second, where the heck are you? Aren't you supposed to be spreading chaos or something?

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Sorry, Pine Tree! Tell it to The C Rock! If you folks want to keep the wool tugged down tight over your eyes, that's fine, but don't drag the rest of us along for the ride. Wake up, America!

video

[glitterateur]

Your theories are even dumber than you are.

[Yes Mabel that is very helpful. Good job.]

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Mmmmmmm... Nah. That one sounds like the least likely, out of any I've heard today! So I guess that's an accomplishment! Congratulations!

[bindsthedead]

Read some history books. There's a number of theories about the previous group of imPorts... and did I mention that information about the corrupt government they helped overthrow is rather thin on the ground?

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Hey, there's only so many hours in the day! I can't learn myself every little thing about every dimension.

Damned if I can't try, though! So you're saying there was a different batch of superhumans kicking around this plane? What happened to 'em?

video;

[moded]

People can totally go into space I mean in my world back home our superheroes have this huge floating space station it's super crash-- uh I mean it looks super crash. From where we can see it from the ground. Through telescopes!

Oh and there was this one time this huge spaceship as big as the moon tried to blow up the planet and everyone totally went up and stopped it.

So the moon landing could definitely happen!

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Oh, man! Sounds like wherever you're from is pretty exciting! How come none of that's happened here yet, huh? I'd take planetary sized spaceships over political hoohaa any day of the week.

audio

[ex_deeds185]

All of those things sound horrible.

[ From what she can tell, at least. Something about a cosmic nightmare just doesn't seem very pleasant to her. People popping like grapes sounds pretty gross, too, so excuse her if she doesn't sound thrilled at the prospect. ]

Do you have evidence that they're true? Furthermore, wouldn't convincing an entire population that things aren't as they seem take quite a bit of effort?

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Of course it would! But if that effort is worth it, there's no limit to the things people are willing to do. Especially if power is on the line.

audio

[goingtogrillbys]

Glad to see someone's enjoying themselves.

[He's not bitter.]

Doubt any politicians are lizard people, though. I know a few and they're not nearly that slimy.

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

What, the lizards, or the politicians? Hahahahahahaha! [yeah sorry sans he's just wholesale stealing your joke,]

( audio )

[assassinate]

Ugh! Now I'm going to think about people exploding when I chow down on grapes! This is the worst!

[ rose doesn't trust bill, but for now she'll act casual. from his posts on the network she can tell he's a shady character. ]

AUDIO;

[triangleman]

Oh, no! I guess you'll just have to move on to other, less squashy fruit! What about cherry tomatos?