03 | video | backdated to march 14

[oceanthief]

[the video clicks on to what may be a familiar sight to some, although not typically filming from this id tag - Josuke Higishikata's bedroom, albeit devoid of the owner himself. it seems to be completely devoid of anyone at first, really; the communicator is laying on the ground, showing a nice view of nothing in particular.

suddenly an adorable cat leaps into the shot, chasing what appears to be a mouse completely made of water. he pounces and bats, desperately trying to get his little paws on it, to no avail; whenever the he comes close the mouse dissolves into a sphere of water and snakes right between the oncoming paws. from time to time it even delivers a cheeky little kiss before darting away, prompting the poor kitty to give an outraged (but adorably tiny) sneeze.

the scene continues with no outside commentary for a minute or two, during which time the cat nearly climbs up Josuke's dresser and backflips off it in his neverending quest to assert his position as the alpha predator. without warning the camera jerks and shifts, rising up smoothly to finally get a shot of the bed in here.

on it is perched one Lapis Lazuli, feet daintily dangling off the edge. seated in her lap are three very content multicolored chickens that occasionally cluck softly to themselves as they nestle a little deeper into her protectively encircled arms. a thick band of water rotates just above her shoulders; within it swims a very pleased goldfish, as intent on making the most as his newfound wide open space as a fish can be. she waits a moment longer before speaking, voice a little hesitant.]

...is that long enough? I've only watched a couple, but it seemed like it was a lot easier to communicate like this instead of talking.

[it probably seems like she's talking nonsense, but a few moments of reflection should bring about the correct conclusion. Lapis was talking about watching something, and she'd just shared a video of nothing but a cat playing around.

...yeah, that's right. she thinks that all the cat videos saturating the internet are another way that humans talk to each other and decided to try her hand at it while she's got the proper animal available. it really was a lot easier than trying to hold a conversation, that's for sure.]

I don't really- [she cuts herself off immediately. no, there was no way she could admit to not knowing what the proper response to this kind of communication channel was. her shoulders square and she forces her voice to become a lot firmer.] You can post some of your own in the comments section here. He's still got a lot of energy.

[boy does that cat. the only problem with that is that Lapis' water constructs can run on a sort of autopilot if she wants them to, and while she's been busy filming her segment of this video the mouse has been doing just that. without her noticing it's led the cat directly to a large paper tree with origami cranes hanging from the branches in the corner - and prompted it to take a flying leap right at the thing in an attempt to corner the mouse.]

Oh!

[the catastrophe finally catches her attention when the tree shudders and takes a tumble towards the ground. the orbiting water snakes out to catch it before it lands and totally obliterates itself...but she'd had to move too quickly to separate the goldfish from the thing. the water had cushioned him from any damage, of course, but it still wasn't a smart idea to leave things like that - she'd have to go sort it out personally.

only...with the cat still on the move even after the disappearance of the mouse, Lapis really didn't have time to gently put the chickens down. she summons her water wings to get the job done, and with a mighty flap sends what sound like several very heavy objects toppling right off the dresser.

it's at this point that she apparently decides no one needs to have this chaos filmed. a glob of water detaches itself from somewhere and goes hurtling towards the communicator, presumably finding the off button as the feed goes dead.]

Comments

video

[bonely]

[ He watches in awe. This is remarkable. But he blinks a bit, at the sudden crash. ]

...Do you need any help..?

[oceanthief]

[hey, roomie! there's no reply for a solid ten minutes, but when the video feed finally blinks on Lapis looks...not exactly happy, but a little bit more in control of the situation.]

No, it's alright! I fixed everything.

[she caught the initial toppling item and threw everything that had broken out the window. it's all good.]

[bonely]

...Fixed everything? [ He tilts his head. ] That was very fast. Do you have experience in repair?

[oceanthief]

I know what to do when things break.

[that is not the same as having experience in repair, but Lapis seems to think the answers are interchangeable. it's the same conclusion in the end, isn't it?

speaking of damage control, a dismayed yowl sounds as in the background of the video the offending feline floats into view, all but his head entrapped in a sphere of water. someone's in timeout.]

video

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

That was real cute before everything went terrible.

[oceanthief]

[it's several minutes before she replies. sorry Ripley, gotta wrangle the animals and also furniture.]

It looked a lot easier when someone else was doing it.

[flynnnotjunior]

[ Flynn isn't sure what she's doing but if she wants them to add animal videos, he doesn't have a problem with it.

So have a view of the inside of Puppytown Petting Pound. He's keeping the children out of shot, but there are a few puppies ambling about uncoordinated. They're pretty young.

He lets it run for a while before turning it back to him. ]

Is that what you mean?

[oceanthief]

Yeah, but it's usually cats.

[the puppy ones are fairly popular, she's noticed, but the real big moneymakers seem to be the cats. maybe they're a more useful species.]

[flynnnotjunior]

So what are you trying to do?

[oceanthief]

Talk to people.

["obviously" is the unspoken additional to that sentence.]

[resipiscent]

You've got a lot of cute friends, huh?

[oceanthief]

I'm just watching them for someone.

[resipiscent]

Friends of friends, then. They look like they like you, though.

voice;

[bestever]

Yikes. That's a pretty neat trick, but I don't think the cat's impressed. I guess it's not as bad as Wash's goddam menagerie, though.

voice;

[oceanthief]

I'm just watching them for somebody. [and...] I think he's learned his lesson by now.

voice;

[bestever]

Pffft. Yeah, right. Cats never learn their lesson. They're like little furry demons.

[video]

[timecapture]

What a cute kitty!

[But then... uh-oh. Those poor chickens.]

Is everything okay?

[oceanthief]

[it takes a few minutes before Max gets a response as Lapis settles things down again. when the feed turns on there's the usual stoic expression...along with a very irate cat floating in the background with all but its head imprisoned in a water sphere.]

It's fine. I took care of it.

[timecapture]

[Oh, that poor cat.]

What happened?

[Was it really that bad?]

video;

[psychofailed]

...So what was supposed to happen, there?

[Just going to. ignore the bizarre inexplicable things happening in this video (why does the sentient space rock have some kind of water magic??? questions man was never meant to know the answers to) and focus on that this time.]

[oceanthief]

Just the first part.

[the bit with the adorable cat, and the theoretical sharing of videos. all the good happy things that would've meant her moving on up in the world of socializing without having to mentally trip all over herself agonizing about the weird human intricacies of actual conversation.]

[psychofailed]

Oh.

[Yeah, smalltalk is hard. As evidenced by the bit of awkward silence that follows.]

You like cats, then.

[Smalltalk with aliens is especially hard.]

video;

[valuemeal]

[ Okay, the weird.. impossible water everywhere in various shapes thing aside, and that chaos there at the end aside... ]

What were you even trying to communicate? [ Because it completely went over his head that she thought it was a normal human way of communication, it feels more like just missed something.. ]

[oceanthief]

Whatever everyone else is.

[she's yet to grasp the subtle nuances of cat videos and figured that settling for a generic one would be a fine starter. can't learn until you dive right in, right?]

[valuemeal]

I don't think that's how people communicate.. [ Unless it's just another part of this weird place? He'd believe anything at this point with the stuff he's seen, really.. ]

I mean, what's some pet moving around supposed to tell people? Is that something people do here?