[ video ]

[tweaker]

[No, that's not Eminem. That's Jesse Pinkman, just two years younger but looking more like ten years younger (because the meth business will really do a number on you).]

Yo, okay. Maybe you guys can explain something to me, 'cause I been trying to be all open-minded about this shit but I'm starting to get the feeling I'm on an episode of Punk'd or something.

Help me out: If superpowers are real, how come I don't fucking got any?

I been trying, you know? Not jumping off any buildings to see if I can fly, 'cause I'm not retarded, but like... If we're in Comic Book Land now, I feel like I oughta see some evidence, yo. Where's the TK? Where's the laser eyes? Do I gotta go radioactivate my ass first? Somebody point me in the direction of the nearest toxic waste dump.

Come on, don't tell me I'm the only guy having this problem around here.

Comments

[tweaker]

...Is there any way to answer that question that isn't totally faggoty?

[textualhealing]

Wow, impressive literacy. [Such sarcasm.]

[tweaker]

I know. I'm a goddamn poet.

[textualhealing]

Are you really Jesse? I'm getting moronic younger brother vibes.

[tweaker]

The one and only Jesse Pinkman. You got that?

Besides, my younger brother's a genius.

[And he says that with great pride.]

[textualhealing]

Okay, kid, I got it.

You found a place to stay, right?

[ricin]

Uh...

[Not... legally?]

Yeah. Yeah, I got a place I'm crashing at.

[textualhealing]

Uh-huh. [Totally believes you, kid.]

I'm assuming now is a good time to point out I'm lawyer, so you might wanna remember my name if you get yourself in any trouble.