Video

[fullmetalbrat]

[The video feed cuts in on a blond teenager squinting dubiously at the camera. His eyes widen a moment later when he notices the video display on the screen.] —Is it working?

Uh—hey. Can people really see this? If there is anyone watching, I'm looking for a guy in a huge suit of armor. Goes by the name Alphonse. [He leans closer to the camera, pointing emphatically.] If you see him, tell him his big brother's looking for him!

Now that I've got that out of the way, I got some more questions for all of you. Someone told me that when people leave this world they forget everything about it, but they might remember if they come back. Is that really true? Is there anyone who's left and come back that I could talk to?

I want to know more about this registration scheme they've got here too. I heard plenty about what you get for it, but what's the catch?

And, [he starts, pausing to glance at something laying just below the camera's field of view], what's a "pop star"?

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[vorbarra]

Hello again.

[ Gregor hones in on the one part of this he feels equipped to answer (that he hasn't already answered in their last encounter, that is). And, of course, feel free to have seen Miles busting his cover and revealing he's the Emperor, if that's the sort of thing Ed would've noticed.

For his part, Gregor is gamely getting on with life and trying not to harp on it. ]

The catch for registration largely depends on how seriously you take your oaths of loyalty. It can, in essence, serve as government welfare, if you decide not to participate in any combat on their behalf. But you are of course giving them your tacit allegiance nonetheless.

[fullmetalbrat]

[Oh, Ed has certainly noted it, but he'll keep that information tucked away until he thinks it will serve him.

Or until he thinks it'll get a rise out of someone. Basically the same thing, right?]

Wait—they really let you choose whether or not to fight?

[vorbarra]

[ Gregor's pretty sanguine about it-- Ed is just too blunt for him to think of him as the potential sort of enemy that this would be a vulnerability to-- he's just not looking forward to having to be Emperor again at large, rather than just privately.

He nods. ] It's not actually a draft. I was registered for a month or two myself, and I'm not much of a combatant, so I made sure of that.

[fullmetalbrat]

[The look on his face can only be described as incredulous.]

If they aren't getting weapons out of us, then what do they want?

[vorbarra]

I'd think it was obvious from a governmental perspective. Organization. We're a bunch of superpowered interdimensional refugees, landed on their doorstep. Letting us run amok is a logistical, security and public relations nightmare.

Having us all in a row for counting is much easier.

[fullmetalbrat]

No, they already have us all documented when we first come in, and they can take out whatever powers we got, can't they? What's the point of getting us to register with them on top of that? It's some extra bullshit they don't really need. There's gotta be some other catch.

[vorbarra]

They're playing to an audience, namely the world stage. The United Nations recently acknowledged us as human despite our origins, meaning we fall under humanitarian regulations.

If the U.S. isn't seen to be treating us humanely -- or if we seem to be getting out of hand, conversley -- they'll face repercussions.

It's to their benefit all around to keep us appeased. And the majority of registered imPorts do probably help them.

[fullmetalbrat]

[It's almost impressive how quickly he can go from mild annoyance to flat, cold fury.]

They—recently? Are you seriously telling me they didn't even believe we were human beings until . . . how long ago is recently? How long did it take them to get their heads out of their asses?

[vorbarra]

[ A wry eyebrow. Gregor doesn't think he was ever able to be shocked at things like that. He's been steeped in cutthroat politics since he was five. ]

A couple months is recently. I've no idea how long it's been going on, but I think their first batch of imPorts was several years ago. And it's not so much a matter of them individually believing we're human or not as us achieving legal status. They were attempting to wash their hands of involvement with us entirely.

We persuaded them otherwise.

[fullmetalbrat]

Since when do you need legal status to be considered human? Either you are or you aren't—scientific fact! What the hell's wrong with this shitty world?!

[vorbarra]

[ Gregor sort of flips a hand in a so-so gesture, unperturbed by this reaction. ]

Politics. Same as usual. I empathize from the perspective of imagining aliens suddenly showing up on my doorstep at home and having to decide on legal status for them, but. [ Dryly, ] I admit we would be quicker about it.

[ Democracies. ]

[fullmetalbrat]

Your world sounds just as bad. People are people.

[ADULTS always having to make everything more complicated and horrible than they need to be.]

[vorbarra]

Well, yes. I agree. Much as I advocate for doing away with dictatorships, it would be nice to get to enforce that unilaterally.

[fullmetalbrat]

It shouldn't need to be enforced. It should just be a fact.

[vorbarra]

The hope is that with enough enforcement it becomes one. Like allowing women to serve in the military, and then integrating them.

[fullmetalbrat]

. . . Do I want to know why anyone would think letting women serve was a bad idea? How could you stop them?

[vorbarra]

[ Gregor contains a laugh. ]

By keeping all the swords to yourself and disallowing them from purchasing any? [ he suggests. ] As for why, something about unit cohesion. [ Have a very dry smile. Truly not even much of a smile, more of an edge. ] The argument was not compelling to me.

[fullmetalbrat]

[There is not a single part of this that makes any sense to Edward. What kind of bizarro world has he stepped into??]

You know women can just make their own swords, right?

[vorbarra]

You must have little experience with institutionalized prejudice.

[ Gregor might be envious. ]

[fullmetalbrat]

Not against women.

[Wiping out other cultures, sure. An entire half the population, not so much.]

[vorbarra]

Mutants? Physical disabilities?

[fullmetalbrat]

[H. HAH if only it were something nice and simple like that.]

. . . A religion. A race of people who followed it.

[vorbarra]

[ A brief hesitation. ]

Historical Earth was full of religious discrimination, wasn't it?

[fullmetalbrat]

Pretty sure my country was built on it.

[vorbarra]

Could you expound on that?