[Voice]

[dupeability]

[This post starts off with the sound of a man clearing his throat.]

Uh, hi. I'm Jamie Madrox, and this is my first time travelling to an alternate universe.

[A pause. And an awkward chuckle.]

That was for all of you to go "Hi, Jamie!" I hope at least somebody caught on, or this bad joke works even less than it already did.

Support group cracks aside, I've looked over all the provided reading material and given the network a quick once-over, and my keen detective skills tell me we are well and truly screwed here, right? And I don't mean that just because we're a bunch of super-powered people trapped in an alternate universe. That's bad, but being stuck working for the government - and take it from someone who has been there - never turns out well, even without taking into account that the Cold War is, somehow, still happening? Has anyone figured out why that's a thing? I'm not a historian, but that seems like a problem worth looking into.

And hey, speaking of looking into things- [What a pro segue there.] - the detective skills line wasn't just another attempt at a quip. I am an actual licensed private investigator, both here and in my home reality. Technically, the paper I got from Uncle Sam says I only investigate...let's say "marital indiscretions", but as far as I'm concerned you can consider X-Factor Investigations ready and open here in Nonah for anyone who needs a PI. If any of my associates are trapped here too, then let me know. X-Factor...X-ssemble? Wait, no, that's terrible. Forget I said it.

Comments

Video

[liverletdie]

Please don't try to steal the Avengers' catchphrase next time.

You butchered it.

Video

[dupeability]

[oh hey it's that guy whose government program he flipped the middle finger to better not piss him off]

Sorry, Mr. Stark. Please don't sic your copyright lawyers on me.

[or not]

Video

[liverletdie]

That depends on if you're going to keep trying to use it or not.

Although if you're really sorry, you'll pay reparations without legal action.

Video

[dupeability]

[He hopes this is still friendly joking. With someone he's not actually friends with.]

No, I'm pretty positive I'm done with it. Not like it works, anyway, X-ssembled isn't even a word.

video;

[earnedmystripes]

I dunno, I thought it sounded kinda cool, actually.

[In a cheesy sort of way. But Kotetsu is a cheesy sort of person, so.]

video;

[dupeability]

Yeah? [Jamie disagrees and regrets everything.] I think that might say a lot more about your taste than it does how cool of a catchphrase it actually is. No offense.

video;

[earnedmystripes]

[The saddest part is he doesn't even know it's a pun on the Avengers catchphrase because he doesn't know who the Avengers are.]

What! It wasn't bad! You could totally make that one work.

video;

[dupeability]

Oooor I could just retire from catch-phrase making. You know what they say, always go out on top.

[dramaking]

[HEY JAMIE GUESS WHO??]

You're late.

[Ok, he's just grumpy it's Madrox and not certain other people.]

[dupeability]

[Oh good, a familiar voice. Engage sarcasm.]

Well, you know how it is with cross-dimensional flights. I had a layover on the Earth ruled by man-eating crabs.

How long have you been here?

[dramaking]

[The sarcasm makes a whooshing sound as it goes over Star's head. Thankfully, he deigns not to comment.]

Two months. I arrived alone. I suppose you did as well?

[dupeability]

Yeah, just me as far as I can tell. Which is funny, considering I saw you less than ten seconds before suddenly being here. How does that work? [you probably know more about this stuff than he does, star!]

[Video]

[eastdetective]

What kinds of cases did you solve back home?

[Video]

[dupeability]

Missing persons, the marital indiscretions I mentioned earlier. Occasionally a family hires us to follow up on a case where police might have missed a few details due to being..."normal".

[He's doing the finger quotes.]

Nothing too unusual, except our clients tend to be mutants or other super-powered folk. Things tend to get out of hand real fast with that set.

Re: [Video]

[eastdetective]

[That all sounded familiar right up to the part with mutants and superpowers. ]

Did you ever work with the police?

Sorry? What's a mutant? [Conan knew the scientific definition of the word, but from the context it sounded like this guy was talking about something else. ]

[Video]

[dupeability]

Nnnnot in any official capacity. [Using light mind control to get into crime scenes probably counts as unofficial.]

And a mutant is-[He pauses. God, what's the best way to Cliff Notes this explanation?]-is somebody who was born with their superpowers. It's genetic, usually kicks in around puberty. Sometimes at birth, in my case. My world used to have a lot of them. Now, not so much.

[inmyothertights]

Hi Jamie.

[dupeability]

Oh, good. That's one. Now it works.

[inmyothertights]

Is this really your first time though?

video;

[lunaraneae]

Is this like... an X-Men thing? Or something else? You know what X usually means, right.

video;

[dupeability]

I'm well aware, thanks. [Too aware, these days.] It's the name of my old team. X-Factor. We were-God, it sounds stupid now-kind of like a government funded X-Men team.

It didn't work out, and hey, the name was just laying around, so...yeah.

[lunaraneae]

Wait... the government and the X-Men? Are you serious? I can see why it didn't work out.

I think I've heard of other uh, mutants here. [She met them in costume. Which means she gets to pretend she has no idea who they are.] Not sure if they're part of your thing.

voice

[incipit]

[ Hey, a detective! Dick has read enough of his own journals to know he should be interested in this. ]

Hey!

Older me has a lot of notes on the history here. And on the Porter. You want me to send them to you? They might help!

voice

[dupeability]

[Well, he hadn't made up his mind to actually investigate stuff like the Porter.

But on the other hand, he probably wouldn't make up his mind anyway without a push. What could it hurt?

a lot, probably]

Uh, sure, kid. And...older me? Do I want to know?

voice

[incipit]

[ Yes. He can still do this even without his memories. This is going to be fine. This is going to be great.

Also, two files are attached to this message: number one and number two. ]

Okay, I'm sending them! Let me know if it doesn't work, I've never done this before.

I'm...usually older. I don't know what happened. It's the same with lots of people, I think. And I researched a lot of this, but I was older, and...I don't remember it. I'm trying to catch up.