Video

[idontwanttoknow]

[A new world, a whole new populace to meet. As long as they don't expect him to do anything other than woo them, Ivan thinks he'll get on with these people quite well.

Time to introduce himself, then. He takes as much time as necessary to figure out the (frankly archaic) video capture equipment. His first call needs to show his good side, after all.]

Hello, De Chima. I've recently been ImPorted to your beautiful city, and I'm looking for an equally beautiful guide to introduce me to my new home. Would any of you ladies out there care to oblige me?

I also thought I would introduce myself for those of you who aren't sure whether or not to help me: My name is Ivan Vorpatril, and I am your galactic dream come true. Respond to me on this channel, and I can happily repay you with a night that is truly out of this world.

Comments

video

[rathercommon]

[ And here is a cat - who is a lady, and quite beautiful, thank you very much, so there's your criteria satisfied, Ivan - sitting on the screen, commenting wryly: ]

Smooth operator.

[idontwanttoknow]

[Well. That is certainly a cat. Quite a beautiful cat, too, but Ivan isn't interested in cats for romantic company.

And why is it talking? Do the creatures here have powers?]

I do try.

You know, I don't think we've been introduced.

[rathercommon]

[ Cheerfully - and with some approval, because most people freak out when she's a talking cat - ]

My name is Kitty.

[idontwanttoknow]

I see. What a very--appropriate name.

Are you from De Chima, miss Kitty?

[rathercommon]

Appropriate because I'm a cat, I suppose? The name predates the form.

And I live in Heropa, actually, though I'm very often in De Chima. I've got friends who live there. I think you might be acquainted with them, if I don't miss my guess.

[idontwanttoknow]

Name predates the-- you haven't always been a cat?

[Who could do that to someone? Cats can be delightful creatures, he supposes, but he wouldn't want to be one.]

I think these cities are much closer than anyone told me. Who do you know?

[rathercommon]

No, I was born a girl. And sometimes am a girl again. As I see fit. Anyway -

[ She flicks her ear. ]

Vorpatril means you're Vor, right?

[idontwanttoknow]

Oh. So you like being a cat.

[That's...odd, but not in a bad way.]

You know Miles, don't you?

[rathercommon]

Miles, Gregor, Aral, Cordelia, the whole group. Oh, and Duv Galeni, too, now, I suppose. He's charming. Oh, actually, I wonder if this'll work on you...

[ And with a ripple of magic, the cat is suddenly replaced by a very lovely old woman - or, well, maybe an old woman. She's a little funny looking, with wrinkled skin and gray hair but with bright youthful eyes and a young woman's clothes. She's smiling. ]

[idontwanttoknow]

[That's...a whole lot of people. Uncle Aral is here? And Tante Cordelia?

The transformation is even more surprising. He expected a girl, but this woman is so distinguished. And those eyes so lively.]

It's working. You look wonderful.

[rathercommon]

What?

[ She's fishing around in her bag, and then looks up and wrinkles her nose in a very teenagerish fashion - ]

Oh, no. Not this. I do this all the time. Don't be weird. Here we are...

[ She pulls from her bag a gorgeous Vorfemme knife - the one Gregor had forged for her. It bears the seal of House Vorbarra. It's absolutely gorgeous, a work of true craftsmanship and beauty - and there she is, waggling it at the camera, grinning in anticipation of what she hopes is a minor heart attack. ]

Eh?

[idontwanttoknow]

[What? Older women can be beautiful. He's not sure why her mannerisms and her eyes are so young, though. Maybe she meant earlier that she's a girl at heart?

...

Wait.]

Is that what I think it is?

[rathercommon]

[ Her grin gets really huge. ]

Depends. What do you think it is?

[idontwanttoknow]

I know that's the Vorbarra family seal. On a knife the kind that Vor ladies carry.

But

But Gregor

[Why is this strange--if beautiful--old woman carrying a Vorfemme knife?]

[rathercommon]

[ Cheerily: ]

--Had it made for me because we're dating.

[idontwanttoknow]

Dating???

I didn't know Gregor likes cougars.

[It kind of slips out. And he doesn't mean it in a bad way! He likes older women! This is the kind of information that his mother would have loved.]

you're the best

[rathercommon]

[ Her smile doesn't fade; the amusement is just shaded with a bit of curiosity. ]

Cougars?

Somebody had to do it, and who better than Ivan? :)

[idontwanttoknow]

Yeah. You know, older women?

I love older women. They're great. I just didn't know Gregor did, too.

no one better

[rathercommon]

Is that a thing?

[ Her eyes absolutely light up, and she claps her hands in delight - and then, in a flash, becomes an actual, literal cougar. ]

It's true. Cougars are very hard to resist.

[idontwanttoknow]

[All right, now that is disconcerting.]

Were you, uh, waiting for me to say that, or something?

[rathercommon]

I'd be some sort of impressive chessmaster if I were, weren't I? But no - how would I have known that you would?

[ She giggles. ]

God, this is hilarious. I ought to show Gregor. He'll laugh himself sick.

[ Or, well, give a healthy chuckle, which is the Gregor equivalent. ]

[idontwanttoknow]

I don't know. Is that one of your superpowers?

[Who knows, in a place like this?]

Please don't make him sick. Especially not at my expense.

[rathercommon]

Oh, fair enough. I suppose that'd be borderline treasonous, wouldn't it?

[idontwanttoknow]

I mean. Sure?

I was more worried about him being uncomfortable.

[She didn't answer the superpower question. Interesting.]

[rathercommon]

Aw.

[ Her whiskers perk up in approval. ]

Good. It's always nice when people worry about his comfort. I like that. You're actually a bit of a sweet one yourself, aren't you?