004 | video (technically)

[fayzedandconfused]

[ Instead of the video starting with someone's face, or voice, there's the tinny sound of inspiring instrumental music set to a background of large cue cards. After a few seconds, a quick hand switches to the next card, and the next. ]

DOES YOUR HOME WORLD SUCK?

DO U STORE FOOD UNDER YOUR BED SO U WILL NEVER STARVE

DO U CARRY WEAPONS IN CASE MUTATED BUGS ATTACK

ARE U PREPARED TO END A LIFE TO SAVE UR OWN

TALK TO SOME1 WHO HAS BEEN THRU IT ALL BEFORE!!!!

[ Finally, the last cue card, liberally decorated with red glitter and drawings of various machetes, knives, and guns: ]

THE BREEZE: APOCALYPSE LIFE ADVISOR!!!!!!
*The Breeze is 13 years old and her advice shouldn't be taken as legal help or anything like that

Comments

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[dirtyredneck]

Mutated bug attack?

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[fayzedandconfused]

these things happen

text

[dirtyredneck]

They happen often?

text;

[5055034455]

[Okay, that was hilarious.]

This, right here, is some excellent marketing. Well done.

text;

[fayzedandconfused]

why thank you! i did it all myself! LOL

text;

[5055034455]

You're gonna go far in this life, kid.

From one guru of self-promotion to another: What made you go with glitter? It's not exactly the kinda thing that screams apocalypse, you know? (which is not to say I don't love it, plz don't mistake my curiosity for criticism)

video; because it's breeze

[itstheirworld]

[Flicking on the feed with something of a stare and a small, honest to god look of surprise, she asks,]

So, this is your job?

permavideo;

[fayzedandconfused]

Kind of. I'm supposed to be a lifestyle advisor. I figured I could do more stuff this way.

also private from the start, oops.

[itstheirworld]

Why? ...Because it's what you know?

[Not to pry, but she has to process it. She should have seen it in Breeze the first time the met.]

voice;

[wizzardly]

...As fantastic as I find your use of glitter, I need to ask if you expect a large audience for this.

permavoice;

[fayzedandconfused]

Maybe not large, but there are so many dead people, I figure there must be a bunch of crappy worlds, too.

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[magnitudes]

kiddo
why be a life advisor with those glitter skills

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[fayzedandconfused]

i have many talents

text

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

I HAVE A GLITTER SUGGESTION.

can i make a glitter suggestion?

text

[fayzedandconfused]

sure go for it

voice;

[mymarksman]

[ Medraut's voice is half amused....and jut half confused. ]

I assume one uses the knife to fend off the mutated bugs?

permavoice;

[fayzedandconfused]

We-ell... you could, but I think a longer blade would work better. Otherwise you'd have to get in pretty close.

[ text ]

[dualismum]

Are you storing food under your bed? [ this is an important question because Sasaki lives with her and honestly it doesn't sound healthy to hide food under your bed for a long time ok ]

text;

[fayzedandconfused]

... maybe

( video )

[drizzle]

[Welp. This video caught her attention as she hears the background music and cue cards. Nike will be answering or reacting to them as...well, why not? There was no harm in it.]

No.

I would if there was a way to.

No. Bugs usually avoid me most of the time. [Now her expression changes to one that is feeling slightly confused] ...why would they attack me?

[There will be uncomfortable silence] ...I hope it never gets to that point.

[As the final confirmation appear along with the introduction, Nike will look a little surprised by the final quote of the adviser's age or disclaimer too.]

Wait! You've really been through all of it before!? [She knows she is repeating a question that was clearly answered, but...] Did you experience all of this here or back in your world?

permavideo;

[fayzedandconfused]

Back home, of course.

permavid!

[kickingand]

I can see you goin' big with this on late night infomercials.

ditto

[fayzedandconfused]

Oh man, I didn't even think of that.

video;

[bassriff]

Oh, what? Man, I should have gotten on that biz months ago. [YEAH GUESS WHO'S SALTY SHE DIDN'T THINK OF IT FIRST]

permavideo;

[fayzedandconfused]

You snooze, you lose.