[ Voice ]

[dualismum]

[ Sasaki will be using audio for this because it's much easier when you can't see his face. ] ... I think I'm done running from the elephant in the room.

Three years ago, SS rated ghoul Ken Kaneki was captured by the CCG and lost his memories. And from that, I came to existence. I'm legally a human, but not biologically, and I have no memories beyond the three years I've lived. [ so yes. Haise is technically Kaneki ] I know that this body is Kaneki's, and I know that Kaneki is somewhere inside my head I don't really remember anything about Kaneki's life; I don't know who his mother is, I don't know how he met his little sister, and I don't know what he felt when he woke up after being turned into an artificial ghoul.

But ever since I stepped out of the Porter, I know everything that Kaneki felt and lived while in this world. I know the people he met here and matter to him, I know his sadness and his loneliness, I know his happiness and I know his feelings. It's as if these are my memories, even though I'm not Kaneki. I'm not; I'm just... a dream. With two years worth of memories.

[ there is a moment of silence as sasaki tries to gather his thoughts ]

I know Kaneki will slowly take over, and with time all of the memories will return and I will no longer be Sasaki. I will be replaced with the real thing. And yet, I really want to exist. I don't want to fade away, that's why- it was really scary when I arrived here, when I looked at your faces, everytime you called me Kaneki, everytime you expected him.

I still can't tell you what is happening. It's a mess. [ he sighs, defeated ] About that night when Kaneki went crazy and attacked people- I remember it all as if I was the one doing it, so I want to apologize. I'll be visiting the native victims, and the imPorts he hurt and attacked, I'm terribly sorry for what has happened. And the person who triggered that whole mayhem- [ sasaki isn't going to say the name; he knows who it is ] We are going to talk.

Comments

video; private

[kakugan]

[ He listens quietly and, in a way, already understands. This is what has happened for him already, hasn't it? Sasaki doesn't even feel like the same person anymore and back here with his memories... that person doesn't really remind him of the Kaneki he met here either but he can't imagine anyone would be the same after everything. that he's been through.

So, he continues to sit in silence and think over the words. ]

It'll be okay even if we can't be as we were. I learned a long time ago that things change and sometimes it can be when we least expect it.

[ Like when his family died, like when Shirazu died... ]

video; private

[dualismum]

I was told to be a good investigator, surpass Arima-san, mentor you guys- that's what I exist for. [ but he can't do that as a Kaneki ] If I can't do that, I'm not good for much. I'll be just a g- [ "just a ghoul". he almost said it, but he doesn't really see himself as one. he doesn't want to be a ghoul ]

Back home, it was already happening. And it's only a matter of time for it to be noticed. [ will Arima-san dispose of him so easily, though? probably, that's his job, but - ] I don't know what they will do to me when they realize kaneki is dripping all over.

[ in this world, it's honestly on Mutsuki's hands of what would happen. because he is, after all, the only ghoul investigator here, besides Saasaki ]

video; private

[kakugan]

It's hard to say. You don't think they'd try and pull Sasaki back to the forefront? Smother Kaneki further down?

[ A sigh. ] I can't even pretend to know how Arima-san thinks.

video; private

[dualismum]

Arima-san has already been trying to do that. [ ever since Sasaki "woke up" in that cell, actually ]

I... I do see him as my father, but Arima-san is a mystery to me as well.