maskormenace | Entry #004

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Entry #004 | Video

[ Here is Gansey, looking a little strange. He’s wearing a navy-blue sweater emblazoned with a raven – an Aglionby school sweater, over what appears to be ordinary clothes. His shoulders and hair are damp, like he’s been rained on, and he looks strangely pale. Despite that, he’s displaying a welcoming smile, and his hazel eyes are bright and vital with some emotion he’s holding back. ]

Apparently, I vanished yesterday.

I say apparently because it feels more like several weeks ago, but according to this – [ he holds up one of De Chima’s daily newspapers – a tabloid, headlined with speculation about the upcoming import elections ] – it’s only been a day.

A lot can happen in a day. Sometimes things that give you perspective.

Can I ask – the school year is almost over. Some of you will be graduating. I will. Which is odd, because I was here for eight months, and then I went home and it was Fall again, and Senior year was just beginning. I’m not completely sure what age I am now. I turned eighteen a couple of months ago.

[ Which, he actually never mentioned. It had seemed like there were more important things to be getting along with, and the thought of getting older in the wrong world had annoyed Gansey anyway. He’d kept quiet. Now, if he could do that over again, he thinks he’d celebrate it more – even though he’s only mentioning it now because it’s relevant to this. ]

Then I go home, and I’m seventeen again, so now I don’t even know what counts. Graduation will, though, I know that much.

So: to everyone else who’s graduating. Or even if you’re not, even if it’s just that you see change coming for you. What are your plans? Will you work, will you travel? What would you like to do, ideally? I think I’m ready for it to be summer again.

Private to: Billy Kaplan, Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch, Noah Czerny, Matthew Lynch

[ This part goes to everyone’s private inboxes. Gansey’s smile is less presidential here, but his eyes are even sharper. He seems energized, like he’s on the edge of something. His voice is trying not to sound like it. ]

Hey, everyone. I very much hope I didn’t worry you. I think I was mid-conversation with you, Billy. I’ll have to blame my rudeness on the Porter.

Listen, I’m on my way home. Could someone bring the car and pick me up? I’m getting pizza from that Italian place near the porter in De Chima. I’m absolutely famished.

I’d…like to know if anyone else vanished, too. Ronan, Adam?

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[ Gansey considers for a moment, before making this private. It's not that he doesn't want anyone to know, it's that he's yet to tell Adam and Ronan, and he's not sure how public he wants this knowledge to be in any case. ]

I am human. But I died, twice, and to put it bluntly, a magical forest brought me back to life. The first time, it fixed me, and I lived when I shouldn't have.

The second time - which is to say, earlier this evening - it rebuilt me completely, using...what remained, of its own life force. I'm still myself, I...think, but it had to make me into something new to do it. And the forest, well. It doesn't see time like a human would. It's an eternal thing, which takes a physical form, and then dies, and repeats the cycle. It gave me what remained of one cycle, I think.

I don't know, it's complicated. I haven't fully gotten my head around it yet.

The Second Gansey, [ the Doctor muses, more to himself than anything else. But well well well, this is interesting. Gansey becoming more, his life getting rebuilt by a timeless entity. That's happened time and time again in the Doctor's world. Bad Wolf, the crack in Amy's wall, Clara fracturing herself through time and space. All of those times, Rose, Amy and Clara ended up being...well, Rose, Amy and Clara. But it would only make sense that during one timeless entity of nature, someone would come back as more. ]

Have I explained the concept of regeneration to you yet? It's another part of my weirdo alien powers. With Time Lords, when we die, we don't die. The body changes, the personality changes, but the essence remains the same. Sounds a bit like your predicament.

Well that's easily done, I'm not a superhero
Nor do I have intention of becoming one as a matter of fact

Oh... Gansey. I appreciate your faith in me, I do. But in this, my friend, I do not think you know what you ask.

[Saint Walker rarely voices doubt, but that's not because he's afraid of voicing it -- it is because he is a confident man, through and through. In this? He cannot be confident, not after seeing the trials that imPorts have gone through, knowing how different they are from them.]

What I feel is best does not align with what this community believes to be the best. Many here would look at my choices -- my people's choices -- with derision. I do not wish to impart my will on others, not with the stakes at hand.

[Peace, at all costs.

That is not something that any other planet has agreed to. But how would Walker know? They may all be dead as well.]

really
shit man
i feel like the caped weenie goodie 2 shoes (u cna hang one of your dick ;() thing really fits you

I've never been much of a fan of spandex

[ Or, you know. Actually fighting anyone. Though, to be fair, Kavinsky manages to inspire more violence in Gansey than most people, so there's that. ]

fair enough. people wolud see ur mutant thing right thru it ;(
aight man. im out
u do u and all the millenials u an feed ur weird penis during gap year
have sum drinks on me

[ It's something Gansey would sign up for, certainly. But all the same, this response makes him smile. ]

That's rather why you give them the chance to vote for you.

All the same, I do understand. I don't like the idea of forcing my will on people, either.

[ And in Gansey's case, he's aware that he comes across as controlling. It's not something that he means to do, not something that he wants to do. He just knows that it's a risk, an ongoing risk. ]

I only think there are people who might listen to you, given the chance.

I appreciate it. It's not that I want to keep secrets from them. In fact, I hate it. I just don't want them worrying before they have to. There'll be plenty of time for that.

What, the Porter?

It's in Cape Canaveral, but it's never exactly not guarded. And I had a friend who was arrested for forcing his way in. We'd need a better plan than that.

[ Well, that's certainly different. ]

I...see.

I'm not even sure what to say to that. I'm sorry, Sasha. I'm glad you're away from all of that now.

You don't die.

[ Gansey shifts a little, uncomfortable, and feeling not quite sure of himself. ]

When this happens, Doctor...what happens, to your old body? Is regenerating the thing that lets you see time from all its angles?

Well sort of. Everything dies in the end, even Time Lords. [ said in a 'duh' tone. Just...ignore the fact that earlier he said he doesn't die. ] I'll die then regenerate and when I run out of regenerations, I'll die die.

[ which will probably never happen because Doctor Who makes the BBC money and this Doctor doesn't even know how many regenerations he has left BUT HEY, LET'S DODGE THAT QUESTION. As for the other question, the Doctor shrugs before continuing. ]

One, there is no old body. This Doctor, me right here, I'm the same man who grew up looking at Gallifrey's orange sky and who's shown up here as an Edwardian gentlemen with a penchant for amnesia, I've just got a different face and personality. Same phone, different case. And nah, the time from all angles is a different weird Time Lord thing—a weird thing that some humans can do, if they grew up near a rift or are particularly temporally sensitive or got brought back to life by an eternal entity.

[ She's not bothered by the lack of words; it's hard to know what to say when the situation is that bleak. ]

It is okay... um, thank you! We might have a fighting chance against them, so it is not too bad!

Where's a friend with invisibility when you need one?

Do you truly think so, brother? People here can be very violent, and prone to resorting to violence in order to instate peace. Many would be peaceful underneath the right circumstances, and I do not blame them for reacting in the way that they do, but often, one's commitment to peace is tested only by adverse circumstances.

And, in such circumstances, one must live with the consequences. I am not at all certain that they are willing to take that chance when the stakes are so high.

Well. I suppose it makes me feel better that I’m not the only one. I think that I was always aware of time slipping, even before I was brought back. But since I was brought back by an entity for which time means little, I suspect the cause was always Cabeswater. The linear passage of time was only relevant for my perception.

[ And, you know, not for the forest’s. But honestly, even saying that makes confusion tug at the edges of Gansey’s brain. As does the Doctor’s description of himself. ]

Tell me something. If your looks have changed, and your personality has changed…how can you be the same?

Exactly. The last thing we need is to be arrested for our efforts. That would only set us back further.

I think that the voices calling for peace are never needed more than at a time of war. Not everyone here wants to solve their problems with violence.

I know that I don’t.

You're special, but you're also nothing special. [ said with a little smile of his own. Sometimes he's halfway decent at reassuring. ]

As for your question, it's memories—cogito ergo sum and all that. I remember being the Doctor. I remember living through what other Doctors have done. And I want to be the Doctor, so I'm still the Doctor. You remember being the First Gansey, you remember living through what the First Gansey's done, you seem like you want to be Gansey, ergo you're still Gansey.

And at what point would you believe the stakes to be too high, brother? At one point would you decide force and violence is the correct path?

Ever think about sending in some copies?

As a diversion?

[ He gives her a considering look. He had not, in fact, thought about that. It's a little more direct than Gansey usually likes to be. ]

I'm fairly sure that would still be illegal. They're still essentially us, after all.

[ Gansey considers that. He's honestly not sure that he's ever happy about that option. He's just truthful, in the end. ]

If someone were hitting me, or - say for example - holding a gun to my head, I wouldn't stand still and let them. If I couldn't talk them down I'd fight for my life.

I would say that holds true on a national level, too.

[ The crease between Gansey's brows indicates he doesn't wholly like that answer. Memories, identity, personality - these things are not always set. When he was home, he didn't remember being here.

He'll take it, though. ]

Well, if it's as easy as that, I suppose I'll take your word for it. I used to think it was something that was wrong with me, you know. Feeling out of time like that.

It helps to know where it comes from, even if that means it's permanent.

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Entry #004 | Video

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steering to a close as discussed <3

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