Entry #004 | Video

[quaerit]

[ Here is Gansey, looking a little strange. He’s wearing a navy-blue sweater emblazoned with a raven – an Aglionby school sweater, over what appears to be ordinary clothes. His shoulders and hair are damp, like he’s been rained on, and he looks strangely pale. Despite that, he’s displaying a welcoming smile, and his hazel eyes are bright and vital with some emotion he’s holding back. ]

Apparently, I vanished yesterday.

I say apparently because it feels more like several weeks ago, but according to this – [ he holds up one of De Chima’s daily newspapers – a tabloid, headlined with speculation about the upcoming import elections ] – it’s only been a day.

A lot can happen in a day. Sometimes things that give you perspective.

Can I ask – the school year is almost over. Some of you will be graduating. I will. Which is odd, because I was here for eight months, and then I went home and it was Fall again, and Senior year was just beginning. I’m not completely sure what age I am now. I turned eighteen a couple of months ago.

[ Which, he actually never mentioned. It had seemed like there were more important things to be getting along with, and the thought of getting older in the wrong world had annoyed Gansey anyway. He’d kept quiet. Now, if he could do that over again, he thinks he’d celebrate it more – even though he’s only mentioning it now because it’s relevant to this. ]

Then I go home, and I’m seventeen again, so now I don’t even know what counts. Graduation will, though, I know that much.

So: to everyone else who’s graduating. Or even if you’re not, even if it’s just that you see change coming for you. What are your plans? Will you work, will you travel? What would you like to do, ideally? I think I’m ready for it to be summer again.

Private to: Billy Kaplan, Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch, Noah Czerny, Matthew Lynch

[ This part goes to everyone’s private inboxes. Gansey’s smile is less presidential here, but his eyes are even sharper. He seems energized, like he’s on the edge of something. His voice is trying not to sound like it. ]

Hey, everyone. I very much hope I didn’t worry you. I think I was mid-conversation with you, Billy. I’ll have to blame my rudeness on the Porter.

Listen, I’m on my way home. Could someone bring the car and pick me up? I’m getting pizza from that Italian place near the porter in De Chima. I’m absolutely famished.

I’d…like to know if anyone else vanished, too. Ronan, Adam?

Comments

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[hollowly]

( sam would probably like henry, if he ever met him. he would fit neatly into the eccentric hole that a handful of people he already knows occupies.

but at least what he'd said hadn't come across as strange. while sam himself had used his acceptance to stanford as an escape in its own right, he realizes that not everything is going to be that way for everyone else, and taking a break between one end and a new beginning is sometimes the breather you need to get your bearings. ) If you already had everything mapped out, it wouldn't be - ( what is he trying to say, here? ) - I don't think it would mean as much, if that makes any sense. You're not supposed to be a hundred percent sure of everything before it happens. It takes something out of it.

( he doesn't say 'fun', because that sounds too cliched, even for him. )

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[quaerit]

No, I know. It’s not good to know too much of your own future. It’s tempting, but it’s better to be surprised.

[ Especially when the future might bring up something you would dread, the way Gansey’s has for the last year. Choosing not to know might be akin to burying your head in the sand, but he thinks if he’d had it to do again, he’d still have made the same choices. ]

I think I wouldn’t mind being surprised more often. I mean, I’ll still go to college, eventually. There’s still plenty I want to do, and learn. I’m not sure that’s all in a classroom, though, that’s all.