maskormenace | Entry #004

[ Here is Gansey, looking a little strange. He’s wearing a navy-blue sweater emblazoned with a raven – an Aglionby school sweater, over what appears to be ordinary clothes. His shoulders and hair are damp, like he’s been rained on, and he looks strangely pale. Despite that, he’s displaying a welcoming smile, and his hazel eyes are bright and vital with some emotion he’s holding back. ]

Apparently, I vanished yesterday.

I say apparently because it feels more like several weeks ago, but according to this – [ he holds up one of De Chima’s daily newspapers – a tabloid, headlined with speculation about the upcoming import elections ] – it’s only been a day.

A lot can happen in a day. Sometimes things that give you perspective.

Can I ask – the school year is almost over. Some of you will be graduating. I will. Which is odd, because I was here for eight months, and then I went home and it was Fall again, and Senior year was just beginning. I’m not completely sure what age I am now. I turned eighteen a couple of months ago.

[ Which, he actually never mentioned. It had seemed like there were more important things to be getting along with, and the thought of getting older in the wrong world had annoyed Gansey anyway. He’d kept quiet. Now, if he could do that over again, he thinks he’d celebrate it more – even though he’s only mentioning it now because it’s relevant to this. ]

Then I go home, and I’m seventeen again, so now I don’t even know what counts. Graduation will, though, I know that much.

So: to everyone else who’s graduating. Or even if you’re not, even if it’s just that you see change coming for you. What are your plans? Will you work, will you travel? What would you like to do, ideally? I think I’m ready for it to be summer again.

Private to: Billy Kaplan, Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch, Noah Czerny, Matthew Lynch

[ This part goes to everyone’s private inboxes. Gansey’s smile is less presidential here, but his eyes are even sharper. He seems energized, like he’s on the edge of something. His voice is trying not to sound like it. ]

Hey, everyone. I very much hope I didn’t worry you. I think I was mid-conversation with you, Billy. I’ll have to blame my rudeness on the Porter.

Listen, I’m on my way home. Could someone bring the car and pick me up? I’m getting pizza from that Italian place near the porter in De Chima. I’m absolutely famished.

I’d…like to know if anyone else vanished, too. Ronan, Adam?

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Yes, it will. I know that now for sure.

[ He smiles, mostly working to keep the tension off his face. It's more or less successful. ]

The funny thing is, if my friends had come here with me I don't think I'd be in a hurry to get back to that moment. I wouldn't have said that a week ago. Surprising, how quickly things change.

It does make a very big difference when your friends or family are here.

[ Another fond smile. ]

But... this world is full of kind people, too. At least we are not completely alone.

No, we're not. You're very right.

[ Gansey smiles back at her. He feels for this girl. He doesn't think he'd cope well at all without his friends, and she's had no choice. ]

The last time I was here I spent most of the time trying to get home. It's not so bad, though. I mean, it has its faults. But there's a good world here, too, somewhere.

[ Sasha nods slowly, her gaze suddenly a bit distant. ]

I thought about it a lot, too... there was a lot for us to do back home. [ But the more people they have to kill, the less inclined she is to rush back. She might not like person she's becoming back there. ] But... there's so much I've never done before that I can do here.

See, now that's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. That's what we should be doing here, I think. We should be making the best out of this place.

[ As though it's a second chance. That's how it feels to Gansey now. It had never felt like that before, but his perspective has amended itself. ]

Believe me, you don't need to rush home. I went straight back to the point I left. Nothing was missed at all.

Do you miss your home, though?

[ Does he ever feel a twinge in his chest when he thinks about it late at night? ]

I did. Christ, I was so homesick.

[ But part of that, certainly, had been the draw to find Glendower. He knows that. Would it have been the same if he’d been in the position he’s in now? Will he still feel that way? He really doesn’t know. His feelings are a scramble in general. ]

I think it’s normal to miss home. It doesn’t mean you can’t make the best of what you have, and I fully intend to.

[ It's a strange mixture of homesickness and fear that flutters in her stomach when she's by herself in the night, thinking about how she could wake up back in her world. ]

... yeah! I want to see much of this world for my friends. Seeing the ocean is not enough anymore.

[ The kind of fear that keeps you awake at night is something Gansey would understand more than most. ]

You should. Being here is an opportunity, I can see that now. We shouldn’t throw it away.

[ She smiles, taking a liking to Gansey. He seems so down-to-earth and wise... she thinks he would get along well with Armin were he here. Jean, too, in spite of his abrasive personality. ]

Yes, you're right.

Is there anything you go to do here you've never done before at home?

[ Gansey has to think about that one. He's done a lot of things that most people his age haven't, he knows that. ]

Working is one thing, actually. I have several jobs here, and I'd never done that at home at all. And I've done quite a bit of traveling, but...

I was always looking for something. I never traveled for the sake of it, and I think I'd like to. I think I'd like that a lot, actually.

[ His answer seems to startle her for a second, her mouth hanging open. ]

Pardon? Did you say you never worked?

[ Gansey only looks at her for a moment, and then shrugs. ]

I was still in school. I was fortunate enough not to need to work at the same time.

[ His family are all kinds of rich, Sasha. You'll get used to it. ]

Oh... I kind of forgot other places do that.

[ She technically had schooling in the military, just not the same kind of classes. ]

Plus, I moved around a lot. It would've been impossible to hold down a job when that was my life. I was in Henrietta for two years, and that's the longest I've been anywhere since I was...oh, thirteen? Fourteen?

[ Because literal world travel at that age is also very normal, thank you Gansey. ]

Did you have to work while still at school?

We did not have a curriculum like they do here... um, we learned some basic things in the military? But most of our training focused on combat and how to fight titans.

It's...very different, from how I was brought up. My world is more like this one, aside from the war with Russia. Titans are a myth, forgotten by many people.

I can't imagine living with combat all the time, honestly.

My world is very different.

[ Her smile drops a little. ]

Titans are monsters that eat humans and have wiped out most of the population. We have been fighting them for a long time.

[ Well, that's certainly different. ]

I...see.

I'm not even sure what to say to that. I'm sorry, Sasha. I'm glad you're away from all of that now.

[ She's not bothered by the lack of words; it's hard to know what to say when the situation is that bleak. ]

It is okay... um, thank you! We might have a fighting chance against them, so it is not too bad!

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