Entry #004 | Video

[quaerit]

[ Here is Gansey, looking a little strange. He’s wearing a navy-blue sweater emblazoned with a raven – an Aglionby school sweater, over what appears to be ordinary clothes. His shoulders and hair are damp, like he’s been rained on, and he looks strangely pale. Despite that, he’s displaying a welcoming smile, and his hazel eyes are bright and vital with some emotion he’s holding back. ]

Apparently, I vanished yesterday.

I say apparently because it feels more like several weeks ago, but according to this – [ he holds up one of De Chima’s daily newspapers – a tabloid, headlined with speculation about the upcoming import elections ] – it’s only been a day.

A lot can happen in a day. Sometimes things that give you perspective.

Can I ask – the school year is almost over. Some of you will be graduating. I will. Which is odd, because I was here for eight months, and then I went home and it was Fall again, and Senior year was just beginning. I’m not completely sure what age I am now. I turned eighteen a couple of months ago.

[ Which, he actually never mentioned. It had seemed like there were more important things to be getting along with, and the thought of getting older in the wrong world had annoyed Gansey anyway. He’d kept quiet. Now, if he could do that over again, he thinks he’d celebrate it more – even though he’s only mentioning it now because it’s relevant to this. ]

Then I go home, and I’m seventeen again, so now I don’t even know what counts. Graduation will, though, I know that much.

So: to everyone else who’s graduating. Or even if you’re not, even if it’s just that you see change coming for you. What are your plans? Will you work, will you travel? What would you like to do, ideally? I think I’m ready for it to be summer again.

Private to: Billy Kaplan, Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch, Noah Czerny, Matthew Lynch

[ This part goes to everyone’s private inboxes. Gansey’s smile is less presidential here, but his eyes are even sharper. He seems energized, like he’s on the edge of something. His voice is trying not to sound like it. ]

Hey, everyone. I very much hope I didn’t worry you. I think I was mid-conversation with you, Billy. I’ll have to blame my rudeness on the Porter.

Listen, I’m on my way home. Could someone bring the car and pick me up? I’m getting pizza from that Italian place near the porter in De Chima. I’m absolutely famished.

I’d…like to know if anyone else vanished, too. Ronan, Adam?

Comments

[inmyothertights]

[He flushes, red, and covers his face with his hands for a moment, a nervous tic.]

No. You deserve a lot. Don't sell yourself short, I'm saying.

[He looks over at Gansey, quickly.]

I'm the lucky one.

[quaerit]

[ That flush, combined with everything Billy just said, is a little harder to ignore. Gansey is oblivious to a lot of things, particularly when it comes to how other people think of him.

He can't stay oblivious to this. He chooses caution, though, and decides not to put Billy on the spot about it. Instead he touches his shoulder. ]

I think I'm the lucky one. Who'd have thought that I could come to a place like this and find a friend like you? I'm so glad to have found you, Billy.

I'll be all right. I'll keep moving forward, like always. Maybe to archaeology. [ A smile, then, because that guess had not been far from the mark. ] Eventually.

[inmyothertights]

[Please don't say anything. Billy would die of embarrassment. He's closing his eyes and the sky swirls over them.]

You have a whole life to live, right? You're young and rich. You don't have to make any decisions now.

[quaerit]

[ Gansey's expression is warm, but he turns it resolutely to the stars. They are soothing; Billy had been right about bringing him here. Billy knows him far too well. ]

No, you're right. Of course you are. I've been a long time without a direction. Maybe that's what I need, at least for a while.

Time to watch the stars, just for their own sake.

[inmyothertights]

You'll be okay.

We both will.

[quaerit]

Thank you, Billy.

[ Gansey leans back, his eyes on the sky. ]

Listen, please don't tell Adam or Ronan about this. It's still all in their future, and I'm living proof that knowing your future doesn't make it any easier. They'll find out when they get there, when the time is right.

[inmyothertights]

You don't have to worry. I won't tell anyone anything.

Cone of silence, you know?

[quaerit]

I appreciate it. It's not that I want to keep secrets from them. In fact, I hate it. I just don't want them worrying before they have to. There'll be plenty of time for that.