010 ★ Voice

[unbreaker]

Alright, my birthday's in a few days! This one's a big one, too—I'm gonna be eighteen! Which means I'm either throwing a party at my place or I'm pulling out all the stops and doing something huge someplace else!

[Sounds exciting, right? But hold onto your hats, there's a catch.]

Problem is...I don't got any ideas!

[There we go, that sounds about right. Josuke, you slacker, you're supposed to plan this shit ahead of time!]

This'll be the second birthday I've celebrated here, but...a lot's different from when I first arrived.

[The faces, it's the faces that are mostly different. A lot of people that Josuke knows have come and gone, and that makes this birthday one that will be largely different from the last. Which is kind of the reason he wants it to be special in the first place, something he can do while surrounded by all the friends he's made here, the family he's got left, and maybe even some new folks, too. The other part of course having everything to do with the fact he'll finally be a legal adult and that's pretty fucking awesome! Who doesn't wanna do something exciting for that?]

So I got to thinking, maybe while I'm asking around to see if people are even gonna be free, you guys could tell me a little about what you like to do for birthdays? And let me know if you wanna come along and all, too.

More the merrier!

Comments

[unbreaker]

oh wait shit you can hotwire

[deadtective]

Aww, that's really sweet! You were paying attention after all.

[Hazel, you did that when you guys were mutually stealing a bus. did you really think he'd forget?]

But now that you mention it, it's been a while since I've really had to do that. Don't wanna get out of practice, you know? Maybe I should go for a spin now...

[unbreaker]

don't even think about it or the only spin you'll be going for is face first into the grass when i kick your ass

[deadtective]

What? Sorry, it's pretty fucking tough to type when you're in the middle of shit. Can you wait like five minutes?

[unbreaker]

[And guess who's dropping the fucking phone to go check on his car right now...]

[deadtective]

[yeah good luck with that, there's definitely a little gremlin in your front seat. how far along is she with the hotwiring? it's impossible to tell from that angle and with Josuke's lack of knowledge.]

[unbreaker]

HAZEL!

[Shit, he'd half thought she was bluffing, but there she is, squished down in the front seat and fucking around with things he told her not to fuck around with! His fucking girlfriend!!!!!]

I meant it! I meant it when I said I'll kick your ass!

[But first he has to catch her, and in this case that means diving over the car door into the front seat after her...]

[deadtective]

[you of all people should know better than to tell Hazel not to do something, Josuke. as her boyfriend and all there's no one who should've been able to avoid this situation more skillfully.]

I'd fucking love to see you try!

[yeah, that's a pretty risky move to have to pull off. as soon as she's sort of aware from her grounded position of what he's doing, Hazel simply takes five seconds from her activity to shove a lever conveniently close by - the one that regulates the seat's angle. enjoy having that come down on you, buddy.]

[unbreaker]

[The seat comes down on him, but probably not with as much force as Hazel would have hoped. Josuke grunts...softly. More for show than anything. And gives her a look.]

...I'm gonna give you to the count of five just 'cause I'm such a nice boyfriend.

[deadtective]

[she looks at him, so innocently, and -]

Can you even get that high?

FUCKING MISFIRED SORRY

[unbreaker]

...

[Josuke kicks the seat back and grabs hold of Hazel in a headlock, hauling her up onto the seat with him.]

Maybe you shoulda said I could count higher!

the uguu face distracted you, i understand

[deadtective]

[she's shrieking but also laughing, because the small glimpse of Josuke's totally unimpressed face that she got before flying into Headlocksville was completely worth it. all the same, her squalling and flailing is at full force - no way she's going to let him just deny her a car theft.]

I thought you didn't want me fucking lying to you anymore!

of course! look at that thing!

[unbreaker]

[He's used to this! It's not as if she makes anything easy, anyway!]

Oh man, you're really looking to eat grass, aren't you!

[Stupid hands being preoccupied with trying to keep hers from his face, stupid door being hard to open because of it...

Josuke leans back, still holding tightly onto Hazel, and tries to kick open the car door so he can drag Hazel over to the lawn.]

it's way too kawaii to exist

[deadtective]

[he's pretty distracted, isn't he? that gives Hazel an idea as to how to get out of this...]

You of all people should know I don't eat a goddamn thing!

[she continues flailing, but there's an end goal in mind. one of the hands that don't manage to effectively smack Josuke in the face? it glances off and nudges the gear shift into reverse. and those endlessly pumping legs? well, maybe they just happen to land on the gas pedal this time.]

SCREAMING

[unbreaker]

[There's a sudden lurch and the sound of rubber screaming against the driveway before Josuke realizes what's happened, and by then it's too late. The car is rushing backwards into the street and it's all he can do to mash his feet into the space under the wheel trying to hit the breaks, one hand on the wheel to keep the car from hitting a tree and the other on Hazel to try and pull her away from anything she can get her hands on that'll cause problems! Which is hard since that's basically everything!

When the car finally comes to a stop in the road Josuke looks ten shades too pale and like he forgot to breathe through the whole ordeal....]

YOU'RE WELCOME

[deadtective]

[Hazel does her damnedest to keep causing trouble as the car rockets backwards, but for once her boyfriend actually succeeds in keep her (mostly) contained. when they finally come to a stop he still has to live with the indignity of the wipers squealing back and forth in the silence.

thankfully the instigator of this mess doesn't waste much time before dissolving into hysterical giggles. somebody sure thought that this was a fucking barrel of fun - she even turns slightly to tug playfully at Josuke's sheet white cheek.]

Hey, the acceleration's not too bad on this thing!

[unbreaker]

[There's no oncoming traffic, so Josuke continues to sit there for a moment, Hazel tugging on his cheek, while he attempts to figuratively put himself back together again. That could have been a disaster. Even if it wasn't. But it could have been!]

You're out of your mind...

[He bats her hand away, finally, and rubs at his cheek.]

What if we hit something? Or someone? And don't tell me it'd be fine because I can fix shit, that's beside the point!

[He's concerned, but not really upset. Hazel's seen him upset. He can't sit still when he gets like that, and right now he's...firmly rooted to his seat. Although that might just be to keep Hazel away from the steering wheel.]

Man, I...I feel like I just lost years off my life.

[deadtective]

Yeah, that's adulthood. You're gonna have at least sixty fucking more years of that!

[it totally would have been fine because Josuke could fix shit, but more importantly Hazel was confident enough that one of them would've been able to steer around any possible obstacles anyway.

she stretches out a little, experimentally, to see if maybe she can get a hand on the steering wheel in present conditions. nope. that kills a lot of her fun - and so Hazel just starts trying to open the door and walk out, perfectly content at having that as her fun ride instead.]

[unbreaker]

[Sixty years, at least...

Just for that, Josuke makes sure to give Hazel's ass an extra hard boot as she exits the car, and before she can think to round on him for it, he's slamming shut the door and gunning back up the driveway again. Once his car is parked, the engine off, he climbs out of the front seat and glances once at her, and then at the car.]

Crazy Diamond!

[She won't see it, of course, but the effects will be plenty obvious. Josuke's Stand emerges and, approaching the vehicle, drives a hole through the front hood and the engine with a fierce thrust of its fist. He can fix it later, right? No big deal. And in the meantime...]

Looks like I win this one.

[deadtective]

[she's already swinging even as she lets out an unholy shriek, but her fist just slices through thin air as the car streaks away. wow, fuck this.

as if that's not bad enough, before Hazel can even scream out some really cutting insult there's Josuke abusing his own powers again and creaming the innards of his own car. FUCK THIS AND FUCK HER BOYFRIEND ESPECIALLY

the shriek rises to an intolerable tantrum pitch; she barely prevents herself from rolling onto the ground by stomping her foot hard enough that it's a wonder it doesn't leave a crater in the cement. there's about five seconds before she flings herself at Josuke in some kind of petulant revenge tackle - but then an idea hits her.]

Not if I get your keys!

[he can't hotwire himself, after all, and it'd be a bitch and a half getting copies made without an actual key as a base. the words are scarcely out of her mouth and she's already rocketing for the door.]