maskormenace | 014 ♍ VIDEO

[ Kanaya is sitting at her desk, with Ashiah laying down on it in front of her. The little grub keeps glancing around in various directions, while her mother's gaze and smile is fixed on the camera. ]

I've been thinking recently about the cross-section of the imPort community who aren't human, perhaps most particularly since the ambassador elections last month. There are a sizable amount of us, not a large group, but significant. I've spoken with many of you on individual terms, and while the resources Governor Kang and SELF have provided to those of us with more unique needs have been invaluable, I feel there is still something missing in our collective socialization. We live the imPort experience in a way that many others won't fully appreciate, and I think we could benefit from sharing those experiences with each other.

[ At this point, Ashiah tries to wander off camera, but Kanaya suppresses a giggle as she puts a hand on top of her and scoots her back into place. ]

I'm unsure exactly what form that would take, but putting us all in a room to share our stories would be at least a start. If anyone is interested, please let me know, and I'll see about renting some space. Of course, if you have any special dietary needs, in terms of snacks, I would like to hear those as well.

This is generally something I'd prefer to save until we're in person, but... [ She's interrupted as Ashiah turns around and nuzzles into her chest, then tries to climb up her shoulder. Kanaya stops and laughs to herself, then plucks her off and cradles her, despite all her fidgeting. ] Anyway, for those of you who I haven't had the pleasure with yet, my name is Kanaya Maryam, and this is my daughter, Ashiah. I'm an Alternian troll, specifically an awakened jadeblood, which basically means I'm a vampire. She's a Daughter Grub from the same planet. [ She raises a finger, shaking her head. ] And before you ask, no, she isn't a troll, and she won't grow up to be one, either. Once she finally pupates, she'll become a Mother Grub. They acted as gestational surrogates for trolls, while the jadeblooded caste were their caretakers and midwives. It's all a bit complicated, this is just a general summary.

So, hopefully we'll be able to put something together moving forward, and I'll be able to hear all of your stories, as well. I'll be looking forward to hearing from each of you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nah, I knew what you meant. It's two thousand compared to twenty, after all.

[ Two thousand? Jesus. She can't remember if she already knew that, but it's such a big number to wrap her head around. ]

And not quite twenty, at that. But...yeah. At that age, you could be said to have more than the collective experience of not the entire imPort community, but nearly half. Probably.

I was thinking more of two thirds, but we can split the difference.

Well, if 105 times me would come just short of your age, and there are more than twice as many imPorts as that, probably more than half of which are significantly older than I am, I'm not sure that math would hang up.

But then, I have at least two years more experience than my age, as well, and the quality of that experience might differently than a standard humans. So, if we want to get complicated with it, maybe your percentages are sound.

Of course, you've got to take into account the fact that the majority of imPorts are human but some aren't. Perhaps there's species with a longer year ratio than Earth, or species with a longer maturity rate? Really, we'd need more proper data before we'll stake a solid percentage.

Well, my planet's years were nearly twice as long, but I've been an imPort long enough that I calculated the exchange between them years ago. But, you know, if anything insects learn to operate independently much faster than mammals. Upon hatching, even.

So, I don't know. I think conducting a survey within the imPort community to determine how best to weigh our individual levels of experience in order to determine just how much yours outclasses the rest of us would be less enjoyable an experiment than finding at which speed a person becomes capable of running across water without sinking.

Unless you really think you need the ego boost, but I'm a little skeptical of that.

Personally, I think the running across water experiment would be best cause then somebody might fall in the water.

[ and they can laugh at them. ]

[ Well, he can at least. ]

That's why I'll have the wetsuit, especially if we're looking for a lower limit. But, in case I can't reach the minimum, I suppose we might need to recruit a faster backup.

Then we'd want to test the faster backup and we've got an everlasting circle of finding a backup to test this speedster then finding a faster backup and so on and so forth.

I'm not really sure who would be faster anymore! Most of the other speedsters I've known recently have all sped off out of this dimension, but it's a common enough powerset that there must be someone.

Either way, speed is only a portion of my own package, so I would imagine that if there's any sort of ratios involved with the distribution, a more dedicated speedster could probably overtake me.

But then, there could just as easily be no even ratios to any of this. Certainly not in all cases.

Well no matter what ratios or methods we take, it looks like we'll be drowning in data.

[ get it? ]

[ She snorts. ]

That's one of the perks of using me! You can't drown if you don't need to breathe.

Well you're one over me, with regards to that. I can hold my breath longer than most, but still need to breathe.

Well, you know how it goes. Hard to die when you're already dead. Certainly not the sort of perk you go out looking for over stumbling across by accident.

I imagine one falls into it more accidentally. 'Whoops, there we go, turns out since I'm dead, don't need to breathe!'

Oh, absolutely! And imagine discovering it by accident. Because you don't stop breathing just because you don't have to, it's a very ingrained habit.

I imagine many undead must have largely vestigial organs.

Awkward question, do you bleed? Because it's always a crapshoot with regards to bleeding and the undead, which is even more interesting because how does someone's heart work when they're dead!

I do still bleed! I have no idea how that works, especially since I've taken very extensive damage to the chest before, and still kept going!

I can't drink my own blood, obviously, that just doesn't work. But, best as I can tell, my circulatory system has taken over for my digestive tract. The really interesting part, no matter what variety of blood I'm feeding on, my own is no less jade than the day I was hatched.

I have no idea how it works!

Pity we're stuck in 2016. I've got some tech back in the TARDIS that could definitely help us out more.

Like a sort of alien body scanner? Well, the only alternative is...I don't know if I should tell you that.

[ She's just (not) saying, though, she could probably survive vivisection. ]

The alternatives are subpar alternatives.

[ AIN'T NO VIVISECTION HERE. ]

Well, if we ever want answers, it's going to be subpar or nothing.

In that case, we'll postpone that inquiry.

No skin off my nose. [ Or any other parts of her anatomy. ] I've gone this long with few real answers, I can survive without them.

That's the attitude!

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