video;

[glitterateur]

[Oh good, it’s Mabel Pines. This bodes well! What doesn’t bode well is that she’s outside the mess that is Heropa 18, wearing a sweet helmet and with two piles of junk sitting on the front lawn visible in the frame. Piles of junk that might, in a galaxy long ago and far away, be a “pod racer.” Except these definitely have more rockets attached to the sides. Like, an excessive amount of rockets.]

Hey guys! Mabel Pines here-- oh and Dipper! [Who waves distractedly at the camera as he puts the finishing touches on his racer.] We just wanted to remind everybody to save the date. The date being August 31st! ‘Cause it’s our birthday and it’s gonna be a celebonanzapalooza to be remembered. We’ll be celebrating being fourteen-- totally seasoned teenagers!-- in major style. And all of you are invited!

[In the background, the pod racers gently lift off the ground. There's a faint humming noise and a weird glow. This actually looks like it might work?? Dipper gives Mabel a thumbs up and adjusts his helmet, only for one of the racers to make an alarming pinging sound and suddenly list to one side. He smacks something and everything straightens out.]

We really do mean all, even you new people! Every imPort’s a friend of the Pines family, except for that one guy and he knows who he is. Come by, say hi, get cake! Bring presents.

[Dipper nods at Mabel, and the twins snap on some sweet goggles in synch. Several pigs with fire extinguishers in their mouths stand at attention. Mabel makes to turn off the camera before she remembers--]

--and if you’re in Heropa we’re sorry about the noise!

[Mabel gives a jaunty wave and the camera turns off as they hop in their racers. The people of Heropa will get treated to some alarming drag racing noises and some minor explosions in the next few minutes. Everyone else-- hey, you’re invited to a party! If the kids are still alive to host it!]

Comments

[glitterateur]

Oh man right?!

[Mabel sits up and knocks on her helmet a few times for emphasis.]

Do you think that was maybe... too many rockets?

[ursawhiner]

[Dipper sits up as well, not bothering to hold back a groan.]

Those weren't actually rockets! They're based on hover technology which-- never mind.

Honestly, it was probably the fake engine with the flamethrowers.

[glitterateur]

Nahh, that couldn't've been it. [There can be no connection between flaming wreckage and things that are explicitly created to throw flames.] I bet they're just not, y'know, good at hitting stuff. I bet when you bumped into me something got knocked loose and that's why the firey ball of failure. We just need more tape!

[ursawhiner]

More tape, an actual way to steer... it's a long list. These weren't really meant to be bumper cars, but they need to be able to take some hits.

[He casts a sad look towards the now foam covered racers.]

They made it seem so easy in the movies.

[glitterateur]

It's way easier to race these things when someone else makes them for you... [Someone who actually knows what they're doing, even.]

What if we used bumper cars? And then attached the hover thingers to those.

[ursawhiner]

Bumper cars aren't exactly known for their delicate handling. If we really want to race, we need something that steers really well.

It's not like we can use an actual car...

[...But what if they did use an actual car.]

[glitterateur]

...do you think Stan uses the car you got at that swear-in last year?

[ursawhiner]

He had it filled with pugs the other week. Dunno if that was a business thing or just for fun.

[glitterateur]

What! How come he never tells me when he does pug deals?!

[ursawhiner]

You know why. They're pugs!

[glitterateur]

Pugs.



Let's get a pug.

[ursawhiner]

Are you kidding?! What about the four cats? The two actual pigs plus your magic pigs? Plus there's Steak Meat! ...Or Meat Steak.

[glitterateur]

Steak Meat needs a friend who understands the life he lives as a dog! Also think about how cute it would be to have a pug co-piloting one of these.

[ursawhiner]

Pretty sure Steak Meat thinks he's a pig at this point. And pugs can't co-pilot anything. They don't have thumbs!

[glitterateur]

Pugs can do whatever they put their minds to!

[ursawhiner]

Sometimes they can't even climb up stairs! I've seen the videos!