video;

[shifting]

[there's a frazzled shapeshifter on your screens today, imPorts. He rubs a hand against his mouth and the scruff of his chin awkwardly, like he's going to make an effort to collect his thoughts - then promptly throws that plan out the window.]

Hey, uh. Sorta a specific question, but has anyone ever... lost track of a day and shown up at the Porter? With somethin' changed? Is that just - somethin' that happens on top of all the other weird shit this place does to a person?

Comments

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well this is going in your parole report.

voice;

[rathercommon]

Dr Chilton, don't be cruel. Can't you see how shaken he is?

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh, don't worry. That also went into the report.

voice;

[rathercommon]

Honestly, I don't see why he's even on parole at all. It's stupid.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Because he committed breaking and entertain, and physical assault?

voice;

[rathercommon]

Yeah, and I was a right monster to you. That wasn't him, any more than Medea was me.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

I think that, legally speaking, there is something of a difference between mean words exchanged and the aforementioned crimes. But regardless, this was all Mr. Merlotte's choice -- he voluntarily turned himself in.

How heroic of him.

voice;

[rathercommon]

[ She wrinkles her nose and grunts in dissatisfaction. ]

Yeah. It was very heroic. Naive, but sweet.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Certainly a winning combination in this world.

voice;

[rathercommon]

It would be if the government worked a bit better, wouldn't it.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh, I meant more in terms of the court of public opinion. A surprising amount of people get away with heinous actions because they appear -- to quote -- sweet and naive.

voice;

[rathercommon]

Well, I'm not talking about the court of public opinion, am I. I'm talking about actual court.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Therein lies the miscommunication.

voice;

[shifting]

That I don't like bein' fucked with by asshole machines? Big goddamn surprise.

But since you brought it up, y'know tomorrow's our last session 'fore the hearin' on Thursday. Almost feel like I should get you somethin'.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Hmm. ["Fucked with by asshole machines", hmm.] You will have to be more specific.

Please do not.

voice;

[shifting]

Meant the Porter. Apparently it felt I wasn't 'super' enough.

[the familiarity of sniping with Chilton is actually making him feel less freaked out, so that's something.]

I'm thinkin' cupcakes, personally. Lots of frostin'. [to get all over his pristine office. And attract ants.] Can't just leave without a token of gratitude. Somethin' to remember me by.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Don't you worry, I'm sure the Porter didn't intend the criticism.

I do not like cupcakes.

[Sam, I am -- I will not eat them at my desk, I will not eat them watching burlesque. I will not eat them at sunset, I will not eat them in my Corvette.]

voice;

[shifting]

Well I'd get you a bottle of bourbon, but I remember you advisin' me to steer clear of all that. Would hate to go against your professional advice.

[would you eat them if you weren't a prick? Would you eat them if you weren't a dick?]

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

You don't have to sample my present, you know. Unless you intend to poison it, then I suggest you sample away.

[I'd only eat it in my yacht, or with my girlfriend who's super hot.]

voice;

[shifting]

Oh c'mon now, Dr. Chilton, that's downright insulting. If I was of a mind to kill you, I'd like to think I wouldn't be that obvious about it. Give me a little credit.

[oh, good thought, maybe he should be offering Raina a taste of his cupcakes.]

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh? Is that so? No, please, why don't you discuss your sophisticated, murderous method?

[His cupcakes bring all the girls to the yard?]

voice;

[shifting]

Can't help but think somethin's a little off about you when you like discussin' murder methods but hate cupcakes. People might talk.

[damn right they're better than yours.]

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Talk about my realistic priorities, or your deflection techniques?

[Will you teach me, except free of charge?]

voice;

[shifting]

You're the only one who ever seems to bring those up.

[gas, grass, or ass, no one rides free.]

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

You might even say that it is my job to denote such tendencies.

[All three, simultaneously!]