video;

[shutterbugged]

C’mon, Peter. There are no take-backsies when it comes to Boogie Boogie Battlefield.

[The camera tips and wobbles slightly before focusing on the face of one Peter Parker. He looks fairly put upon, and the ribbing from behind the camera probably isn’t helping. The view tilts to one side as the cameraperson decides to take a more artistic stance.]

I can’t believe you said “take-backsies” with a straight face. Or “Boogie Boogie Battlefield.” What are you doing with your phone?

There needs to be video evidence. Just follow the script.

No, I mean--in portrait mode?

[With one last thwarted-videographer sigh, Peter brandishes an ink-covered napkin in his hand, takes a breath to speak, then cuts himself off.]

Do I really have to--

Absolutely yes. Think of the children. And portrait looks great, shh.

[Peter rolls his eyes to the ceiling, sighs, holds up the napkin, and in a long-suffering monotone reads:]

“I, Peter Benjamin Parker, do hereby declare on this date of August 25th, 2016, that Cindy Moon is the greatest Boogie Boogie Battlefield player--”

[He has to fight off a smile before continuing. It’s possible he’s not quite as put out by all this production as he’s acting.]

“--of all time, in this universe or any other where the game exists. She has crushed her enemies, seen them driven before her, and heard the lamentations of their friends, families, and significant others, of whatever gender identification or sexual orientation--”

Stick to the script, Parker! Though I appreciate your inclusivity. That should be enough anyways.

Fine, great. [He holds out his hand palm-up and waggles it.] Now give me my wallet back, you blackmailer.

[Okay, no, still a bit put out.]

Comments

video;

[notyourfathersosborn]

[Normie's hand is covering his mouth, primarily in an attempt to keep from laughing.]

Wow you guys take Boogie Boogie Battlefield really seriously.

video;

[shutterbugged]

Hey, don't look at me. I just wanted my wallet back.

[ Maybe Normie didn't notice the "take-backsies" part. ]

[notyourfathersosborn]

How intense did your game get that she took your wallet?

video;

[lunaraneae]

It's called Battlefield for a reason!

[notyourfathersosborn]

But it's just dancing.

[Someone clearly doesn't get the importance of BBB.]

action;

[shutterbugged]

See? This is the problem with portrait mode. There's no mise-en-scène.

[ Yeah he's just being a brat for the sake of it now. ]

action;

[lunaraneae]

Man, you really wanted me to chop off the top of your head. For art.

action;

[shutterbugged]

You're not that much shorter than me.

Also, as the victor-slash-blackmailer I think you owe me consolation key lime pie.

video;

[helpline]

Isn't that Conan? Surely you could have made a better reference than Conan.

[ said with a little frown because really, your taste in movies sucks. ]

video;

[lunaraneae]

I didn't write that in. 100% a Peter Parker special.

[Cindy hadn't realised it was a reference, but it's definitely something Peter would do.]

video;

[helpline]

Tell him that he needs to make better references.

[ the Doctor can't talk. ]

video;

[shutterbugged]

Hey, it's a classic!

Not, y'know, a good classic, but a classic.

video;

[helpline]

How's it a classic? Airing every night on cable doesn't make it a classic, it makes it cheap.

video

[mischiefsmith]

Boogie Boogie Battlefield?

video;

[lunaraneae]

It's a dance video game. You stomp on these little arrows in time with the music.

Good workout and a satisfying way to embarrass your friends.

video;

[mischiefsmith]

Well now I need this game!

video

[shutterbugged]

[ Waitaminute, is that...? Should he say something, or should he just play dumb and avoid drawing the god of mischief's attention to ordinary low-key imPort Peter Parker? ]

What Cindy said. In our universe it's called Dance Dance Revolution, unless it's an off-brand knockoff. Not as alliterative, rolls off the tongue better.

video

[mischiefsmith]

[Keep your secrets Peter Parker, he's already dealing with super hero drama. Do you realize how complicated broken hearts are? Loki is shit at fixing broken hearts.]

We must come from a similar universe [he's assuming that our applies to himself and Cindy] I'm familiar with DDR, more than familiar actually. How badly did she humiliate you? Should you be wearing the cone of shame, or was it only by a margin?

[He has to know these things.]

[backinakidflash]

Duuuuude, how bad did you get schooled?

Two high fives to Cindy Moon, who is apparently an awesome Boogie Boogie Battlefield player and has a freaking perfect name.

[shutterbugged]

Not...too badly in the first half?

[ AKA, he got cocky. Also AKA, a crowd started gathering and he lost focus thinking about his secret identity. Because someone's definitely going to guess he's Spider-Man because of his mad skills at a dance battle game. Sure, Peter. Whatever. ]

She's a non-stop Boogie Boogie Battlefield machine: future opponents, be warned.

[ He may have said that just to have an excuse to say the game name again. ]

[backinakidflash]

Yeah, but I looked up that game, and it gets harder the longer you play so. Kinda makes sense that you bombed the second half.

[ Unlike his sentence structure, which never makes sense. ]

I bet I could take her and get the triple B crown.

[lunaraneae]

I will take those high fives. And I like my name, too.

He would have been okay if he... had played like he had feet?

video

[performance]

Whoa. How bad did you get owned that you had to tell everyone? On a scale from one to "I totally wasn't crying."

video;

[lunaraneae]

He might have been crying. Just a little.

video

[shutterbugged]

No crying, but admittedly some gnashing of teeth and rending of hair.