pejoratives: (pic#9811378)
roѕιтa eѕpιnoѕa ( тнe walĸιng dead. ) ([personal profile] pejoratives) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2016-09-01 06:19 pm

001. ( an important advertisement. )

( Brace yourselves, imports - possibly literally. Whatever volume the device was on somehow seems too loud with the energetic blast of an aggressively catchy opening credits tune and is soon accompanied by a Dramatic Voiceover. You know the type of voice - mysteriously gravelly and somehow sounding just too intense. )

HAVE YOU EVER WOKEN UP ( dramatic pause ) TO DISCOVER THE WORLD ( dramatic pause ) IS A DARKER PLACE THAN YOU EVER KNEW? AND JUST KNOWN ( dramatic pause ) THAT CHANGE WAS ON THE HORIZON?

( Ah, yes, a shot of a Manly Form against the skyline, silhouetted by the sunlight, and with a shotgun against his shoulder. )

CAN LOVE SURVIVE WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE THE WORLD IS AGAINST YOU? AND ( an even more dramatic pause ) .... CAN YOU SURVIVE WITHOUT LOVE?

( Fade to black, but only for a moment.
Behold, gentle viewers, the face of purest suffering. At the very least it is a look of intense suffering, because Rosita has taken several weeks of being intensely aggravated by producers and reminding herself that she needs the money to help Carl and Daryl and Andrea and Enid and keep them all safe to try, and allowed herself to be trained into looking slightly more cooperative. )


Hi. I’m ImPort Rosita Espinosa, and I’m here to bring romance back from the dead. ZomBae will be hitting your screens in just a few weeks, a fresh new show combining the trials of finding love with surviving the apocalypse.

( Okay, no. She still sounds like she hates this, and she still does, but it’s been turned into a marketing #aesthetic. Have you ever heard a tone more flat? Isn’t it great how aloof she is? )

( Yeah, sure. But wait! Who’s this handsome devil? There is a new person on screen, and that person would be one Gabriel Grey. He looks as if he is enjoying this about as much as Rosita is when he speaks. )


My name is Gabriel, [ he may be reading off some cue cards, focus intent an inch left of the camera, maintaining his own deadpan #aesthetic ], I'm 30, and I come from New York City. I would call myself resourceful and hardworking, which would work to my advantage in the wake of some kind of world-ending disaster like the zombie apocalypse and also [ he is definitely reading off cue cards ] love.

( Back to Rosita, and she is resting an axe against her shoulder as she talks, rubbing her forehead for a brief moment before she forces herself to go on. Flat as Hell: ) But we need your help to find Gabriel his perfect partner in survival, and in life.

( And now, a montage:
Gabriel and Rosita fight zombies. Gabriel and Rosita scan the terrain with binoculars. Gabriel and Rosita fortify a room and Prepare For Battle. Gabriel and Rosita ride some horses on a beach only for the camera to pan back and show some extras dressed as zombies shambling after them, and then!!! The final shot: Gabriel picks up a SINGLE PERFECT ROSE (sigh) from amidst the mud and carnage… and stares into the sunset. It’s very wistful. (It’s not very wistful at all.)

( All in all, it’s as terrible as it sounds. )

( Now, enough of that montage; back to the present, and their artistically messy hair. Rosita looks to Gabriel, and her expression very much is along the lines of please, let this be the end, let me die, before her jaw flexes and she forces out the last bit with a smile. )


If you think you have what it takes to be a Zombae, or you know someone who does, then let us know by leaving a comment.


( ooc: Green is Rosita, red is Gabriel, and comments will be coming from both of them. )
dirtyredneck: (Neutral Stare (01))

Video

[personal profile] dirtyredneck 2016-09-01 12:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[he hates video, but fuck it, Rosita needed him.]

I'll come over, shoot 'im right now.

[he means the bachelor.

...and probably the producers.

watch his fanbase assume he's jealous]

Re: permavideo.

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bosewicht: (#10539494)

action.

[personal profile] bosewicht 2016-09-01 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Meanwhile.

On a sound stage that has been inexplicably dressed up as a beach, host and suitor enjoy some iced coffees while they watch the advertisement air. Gabriel, as he is currently better known, straddles his deckchair rather than reclining, watching with a mostly impassive expression save for one upwards twitch of an eyebrow.

Someone who looks like they work here for not enough money starts on over, wielding a clipboard, but decide to leave them alone upon being subject to a level dominance stare from Gabriel that prescription glasses don't particularly obscure.

Sitting back, he turns his phone to Rosita. Look. ]


I'm already getting death threats.

[ That's what they were aiming for, right? ]

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112ounces: (Throw a bucket down into your well)

video;

[personal profile] 112ounces 2016-09-01 12:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[ w h a t

the

f u c k ]


That's something.

[ carl is so useless right now this is how taken aback he is at all this. ]

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notsheepish: (Belly-button piercing?!)

video

[personal profile] notsheepish 2016-09-01 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[...omg

that

omg]


Babe...

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shifting: (Mouthing)

video;

[personal profile] shifting 2016-09-01 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Holy shit. Oh, I'm watchin' this every night.

[this is the funniest thing he's seen since he got here.]

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bosewicht: (#10539490)

text.

[personal profile] bosewicht 2016-09-02 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
I would too. We're very charismatic.

[ Especially Rosita. ]

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primadovea: (smiiiiiles. c:)

video;

[personal profile] primadovea 2016-09-01 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm afraid I'm not looking for love [ her heart belongs to Zakuro (and possibly Sunset Shimmer) ] but I am an actress with a movie coming out in a few months. If you want someone to boost ratings, you should simply call me!

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rathercommon: (kitty jones can laugh like a real girl)

video

[personal profile] rathercommon 2016-09-01 05:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Kitty can't help it. She's still giggling madly when she turns on the feed. ]

Oh my God. This sounds brilliant.

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dendarii: (good point)

video

[personal profile] dendarii 2016-09-01 09:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[ This shit is hilarious. And Miles is grinning already, though perhaps not quite for the right reasons. ]

I didn't know you were filming a TV show Mr. Spock. You make a very convincing human.

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overanalytically: (wha?)

Video

[personal profile] overanalytically 2016-09-01 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ And here's a familiar face popping no the screen in a response—well maybe not as familiar as originally thought. Eyebrows and hair more angular, skin tone just a touch too green, but the voice and face is pretty much a dead match.

The not-quite-Gabriel's-face quirks an eyebrow, though it's uncertain if he's commenting on the video he just witnessed or the lookalike. (Most likely the former, but you never know!) ]


Fascinating ...

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cleptes: (1416680 (8))

video;

[personal profile] cleptes 2016-09-01 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
What will they come up with next? Tune in next week to find out!

[She's trolling. Sorry guys.]

I'm not interested in taking part by the way.
Edited 2016-09-01 21:38 (UTC)

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lightinside: (404l-017)

video;

[personal profile] lightinside 2016-09-01 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
They don't do dating shows like that where I'm from. I really hope they compensate you well for it.

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fayzedandconfused: (everything's a miracle)

[personal profile] fayzedandconfused 2016-09-01 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Whoa, can I be on next season?

[ This is basically the coolest thing she's ever seen. ]

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infomodder: whatever happened to miriam lass anyway (ah yes the miriam lass defense)

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[personal profile] infomodder 2016-09-01 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh man. Finally, the weird guy who breaks into weird houses and threatens to George Foreman poodles shows his face...and it's this. Of course. Why wouldn't this be the thing that happens. Will, for his part, seems about as interested in this whole affair as a rock is in getting good dental coverage, which is not at all. Someone is a bit Dead Inside towards these shows, but...]

What happens if he doesn't find love in the first batch?

[Does he zap them, are there going to be forty years of Zombae in their future? What a mystery.]

in the background;

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grumbling: (and all of their pets)

[personal profile] grumbling 2016-09-02 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ mccoy gives them a round of applause. he doesn't know what the hell is going on, but he's highly amused by spock's doppelgänger and his theatrics. ]

Amazing performance Spock! It's no Othello, but we've all gotta start somewhere.

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mirrordarkly: (I'm a nice guy! Honest!)

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[personal profile] mirrordarkly 2016-09-03 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
I'll play.

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beautifullies: (⌘ 6)

video

[personal profile] beautifullies 2016-09-03 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Claire blinks. And blinks again. ]

I'm sorry, I don't.....I don't understand. I think I want to...try? I honestly don't know.

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ghemnotgem: <user name=tweak> (you're never gonna leave me)

video

[personal profile] ghemnotgem 2016-09-04 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Is this normally how people find partners in this time? It seems--

( tej frowns, trying to figure out the word she's looking for. )

Inefficient. Why not just make them fill out a questionnaire and experience a trial period to see if you're compatible?

( she has yet to realize that this is pretty much the point, only commercialized. at which point she will understand it completely. )
bosewicht: (#10539487)

text.

[personal profile] bosewicht 2016-09-06 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
No. It's not normal.

video

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itstheirworld: (62)

video;

[personal profile] itstheirworld 2016-09-10 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
[She doesn't need to watch more than the loud introduction of the video or its entirety to initially be alarmed and feel bad for Rosita and the mysterious guy as it goes on. The fact is the whole concept of the show is appalling, if not shocking to her, to them as survivors. Which is why she turns on the camera to give either of them (mostly Rosita) a worried, yet largely "wtf" sort of look.]

This for real?

video;

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