maskormenace | 7th Mission // Video

[Jacob films this post while standing in front of the white walls of Helix Station in Maurtia Falls, wearing a navy-blue tank top and black shorts. Judging by the sweat visible on his arms, he just finished his exercise for the morning. His ramrod-straight posture projects an image of Official Business that doesn't match his casual tone of voice, or his workout clothes.]

Hey, everyone. I'm Jacob Taylor. I work with RISE: that's an imPort police team, for all you new arrivals out there. I'm putting together something new for the community... kind of a public safety resource. Like the FAQ, but focused on who's causing trouble these days.

So I thought I'd ask: what do you think are the biggest threats around here? Criminals, terrorists, the Soviets? Maybe there's something most of us haven't heard about yet that more people need to know about. It's important to be aware, especially when people might want you dead. There's always something happening under the surface around here.

Oh, and just so we're clear: this is going to be a list focusing on groups, not individual people. So don't bother talking about who your least favourite imPorts are.

[He pauses for a moment, then relaxes his posture as he segues into more civilian matters.]

That's about it for official business. Unofficially... I was wondering if anybody has got suggestions on a good name for a dog.

[He's totally planning to get a dog. Heads up, MF 001 housemates!]

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[ Well, she was going to make some petty comment about Sabriel, but if he's ruling out individuals, no reason to bother. ]

Naming a dog is generally an expression of either the owner's personality, or the dog itself. It's not easy to provide a suggestion for a dog I've never met.

[Jacob crosses his arms, thinking about that.]

Well, you know what my personality is like. And I know what kind of dog I want to have. Can you work with that?

[ Her eyes narrow as she gives him a smirk, somewhere between sly and curious. ]

Alright then, let's hear the breed, see what we can get out of this.

Yellow labrador. Probably a rescue. Like one of these:

[And he starts sending pictures. Someone's been doing a lot of yearning gazing at his pet research.]

I was hoping it might be a pitbull, I could see you owning a pitbull. Have you seen them? They're adorable! Plus, with that breed, you could give it a good, strong name. Something like Belvedere.

[ He is actually from Earth probably, there's a very good chance he's seen a pitbull before. But Kanaya's never met a dog she couldn't fall in love with. ]

For a Labrador, I could see you giving it a name like Ace. Labradors seem more suited to simple names.

Belvedere. Seriously?

[Jacob has trouble accepting 'Belvedere' as a name for anything let alone a good, strong dog.]

Maybe not Ace. I was friends with an imPort dog with that name a couple years ago. Having a pet with that name that didn't talk would feel... weird.

[He looks sad for a moment. He hasn't thought of Ace in a while.]

Oh god, you're right. I'd forgotten that one. [ Though Kanaya didn't really know him, she was just pretty sure he was A Good Dog. ] And don't knock Belvedere. It's Italian! Means "a beauty to behold", and again, have you seen pitbulls?

[ She lets out a laugh, and stares up at the ceiling in thought. ]

So, let's see, something like Buddy or Lucky. Rex. That one's actually my dog's name, he's a Brittany Spaniel. [ She looks back at the camera, putting up her hands defensively. ] I didn't name him. But I'm the third imPort to be his owner, I thought he deserved the continuity.

Of course, if it's a girl, you want to give her something pretty. Like Bella. [ She puts up a finger to emphasize her point. ] Actually means pretty. Might also be Italian.

[He was a very good dog. ): ]

I never knew you felt this strongly about pitbulls, Kanaya.

[It's actually kind of amusing. He would have expected her to lean towards a breed considered more elegant.]

'Buddy' would work fine. I don't know about 'Bella.' I'm not as interested in a pet that looks good. I'm more looking for a- yeah, a buddy.

[It's also incredibly standard and kind of boring, and this is Jacob Taylor we're talking about here.]

[ Poodle in the sheets, pitbull on the streets. He knows her better than to think that all of her layers are as classy as the surface. ]

They're a breed that has a high tendency to be characterized negatively, despite any qualities their actual character may display, and an increased likelihood of owner abuse. I think they just need a little more love than they're getting! Plus, honestly, just look at that smile. Who couldn't love that smile? A lot of people, somehow.

[ She attaches a picture for good measure. She probably spends a not insignificant amount of her time on the internet looking at pictures of dogs. ]

And you know, how she actually looks wouldn't really matter too much. As long as you're giving her a bath at a reasonable frequency. The point is just that her name is pretty.

That's a hell of a smile, all right. It's a shame any dog like that isn't getting enough love, if you as me.

[Jacob can't help but return it. Happy dogs.]

Do you really think a dog named 'Bella' would suit my personality, though?

[ If only Kanaya didn't already have a dog and a daughter, she would absolutely also get a pitbull. But he doesn't want to fall in the same trap Rose did, and make her house look like a pound. (Whatever happened to Rose's cats? Kanaya tries not to think about it.) ]

It's an example, Jacob, you don't have to name it exactly that. What about Darling or Lady? Even Sweetie could work! But I'm starting to wonder if you shouldn't just name it Stickler, regardless of gender.

[Jacob stops smiling and stifles a sigh.]

I'm not naming it Stickler.

What do you think of 'Champion?' Or 'Thresher?' I've gotten some good suggestions so far.

"Thresher" sounds like something you're either sending out to work the fields, or would brutally attack anyone who gives it a second glance. I'd pass on that one.

"Champion" is cute. That's a good name for a dog.

Funny you should say that- the name comes from a monster from my galaxy. They're kind of a giant worm. Brutally attacking is what they do.

But all right: one more vote for Champion. Seems like a name it would be hard to go wrong with.

Probably not. I mean, it has a built in nickname, if someone prefers the brevity of "Champ". It's the spiritual cousin of "Ace", I think.

"Thresher" sounds like someone one might name a heavy metal band. A bit too brutal for a good dog.

It would be a good name for a band. Or for a military assault unit. 'Thresher Team-' it just sounds right.

I like 'Champ' a lot. That's the one to beat right now, unless someone has anything better.

[ She gives him a laugh, at the joke she hasn't even told yet. ]

The name wouldn't be Champ if there was anything better, Jacob. That's what the word means!

[Jacob chuckles.]

Okay. I guess I can't argue with that.

Then it sounds like you have your answer. I hope I'll have the chance to meet your dog, whenever you get them.

[ Even though she's not going to be his office neighbor anymore, because she's not about making his boss her landlady. ]

7th Mission // Video

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