7th Mission // Video

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob films this post while standing in front of the white walls of Helix Station in Maurtia Falls, wearing a navy-blue tank top and black shorts. Judging by the sweat visible on his arms, he just finished his exercise for the morning. His ramrod-straight posture projects an image of Official Business that doesn't match his casual tone of voice, or his workout clothes.]

Hey, everyone. I'm Jacob Taylor. I work with RISE: that's an imPort police team, for all you new arrivals out there. I'm putting together something new for the community... kind of a public safety resource. Like the FAQ, but focused on who's causing trouble these days.

So I thought I'd ask: what do you think are the biggest threats around here? Criminals, terrorists, the Soviets? Maybe there's something most of us haven't heard about yet that more people need to know about. It's important to be aware, especially when people might want you dead. There's always something happening under the surface around here.

Oh, and just so we're clear: this is going to be a list focusing on groups, not individual people. So don't bother talking about who your least favourite imPorts are.

[He pauses for a moment, then relaxes his posture as he segues into more civilian matters.]

That's about it for official business. Unofficially... I was wondering if anybody has got suggestions on a good name for a dog.

[He's totally planning to get a dog. Heads up, MF 001 housemates!]

Comments

[VIDEO]

[calibrating]

What about, uh...

[He's totally not looking for at a list of dog names.]

[Totally.]

...Fluffy?

[VIDEO]

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob is too nice a guy to judge, but the look he gives Garrus implies he kind of wants to judge.]

You haven't had many pets, have you Garrus?

[calibrating]

[...Yup. He feels the judgment.]

Look, it's not like turians are allowed pets during active duty.

Which we're on. A lot.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

I hear that. The Alliance was the same way. And don't even get me started on Cerberus regs for 'personal luxuries.'

Fortunately, RISE isn't as strict in that area. And it looks like the Porter isn't sending me home anytime soon. So... yeah.

[Might as well dog it up while he can.]

[calibrating]

I liked that little robo-dog thing Shepard had on the Normandy. Maybe if we're lucky, one will port on over here.

Or maybe I should get an actual dog too and name that one Fluffy. Be one of the cool kids.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

I always liked her little space hamster, personally. It was more... durable than her fish.

[Those poor fish.]

But I think it would be interesting to see you with a dog, Garrus. I could see you taking care of a German Shepherd. They get trained as police dogs a lot.

[calibrating]

Boo? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that little guy could survive deep space ejection if it had to.

....

I don't know if you're making a joke on Shepard's name, or if that's an actual type of dog.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob chuckles.]

I actually hadn't thought of the name thing. German Shepherds are definitely real dogs, though. Check it out:

[And he starts spamming Garrus with dog pictures.]

[calibrating]

[Give him a few moments to look at those pictures.]

Huh.

Pretty cute.

I guess.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

You guess? Come on, Garrus. These are great dogs.

[Jacob questions your dog taste, Garrus.]

[calibrating]

I'm not exactly the most qualified person when it comes to judging Earth animals, Taylor.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

Remind me to take you to a dog park one of these days. We can make you some new fluffy friends.

[calibrating]

Wait, wait, wait, hang on a second... humans give dogs their own parks?

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

Yeah. Places for them to run around and meet other dogs... And for their owners to hang out, too. One of humanity's best inventions, if you ask me.

[calibrating]

Huh.

[He's clearly giving this some serious thought.]

Okay, Jacob. You got me. Take me to a dog park and I'll let you know if I'm interested.

No handholding, though.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

You've got a deal, Garrus. Let's head to De Chima sometime. Maurtia Falls isn't really the best place for warm fuzzy things, in my experience.

[calibrating]

Why's everybody gotta hate on Maurtia Falls?

I mean, it's only on fire maybe three out of four times. That's not too shabby.

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

Well in this case, it probably has something to do with the dog-fighting ring I busted last year. Seems people in that city will find a way to make money off of anything.

[calibrating]

...

Okay, that's fair.