maskormenace | 7th Mission // Video

[Jacob films this post while standing in front of the white walls of Helix Station in Maurtia Falls, wearing a navy-blue tank top and black shorts. Judging by the sweat visible on his arms, he just finished his exercise for the morning. His ramrod-straight posture projects an image of Official Business that doesn't match his casual tone of voice, or his workout clothes.]

Hey, everyone. I'm Jacob Taylor. I work with RISE: that's an imPort police team, for all you new arrivals out there. I'm putting together something new for the community... kind of a public safety resource. Like the FAQ, but focused on who's causing trouble these days.

So I thought I'd ask: what do you think are the biggest threats around here? Criminals, terrorists, the Soviets? Maybe there's something most of us haven't heard about yet that more people need to know about. It's important to be aware, especially when people might want you dead. There's always something happening under the surface around here.

Oh, and just so we're clear: this is going to be a list focusing on groups, not individual people. So don't bother talking about who your least favourite imPorts are.

[He pauses for a moment, then relaxes his posture as he segues into more civilian matters.]

That's about it for official business. Unofficially... I was wondering if anybody has got suggestions on a good name for a dog.

[He's totally planning to get a dog. Heads up, MF 001 housemates!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You could always go with something else... It sounds a little less... like another animal?

How about Thresher?

[ A hiss. ]

I guess, if you get a big dog, anyway.

Big's what I'm aiming for. Thresher's a great idea, though- thanks. I can picture it: 'here, Thresher! Fetch, Thresher.'

[Jacob's into it.]

They'd better learn to be nice to Mako...

[ Because obviously, walking dogs together is what #crew does. ]

And just think! Whenever you reflect on how terrible thresher maws are, you can think about your dog instead.

Don't worry. Any dog of mine is going to be nice to other dogs. Especially smaller dogs.

[Especially smaller, fatter dogs that probably can't defend themselves because they've been spoiled too much by their owners.]

I've never fought that many threshers, personally. But I heard you and the crew of the SR-1 ran into them all over the Galaxy while you were hunting Saren.

It felt like every other planet we landed on had one.

[ An audible shudder. ]

And he or she had better! Or else they won't get any uh...doggy playdates.

[ When had his life become this... ]

Hey, my dog will behave. Just make sure your dog can keep up when it's time to play. It won't be much of a playdate if mine just keeps running rings around Mako.

[So chubby.]

Hey! She runs with us! Just because she's a little... large doesn't mean she isn't fit.

[ She's not fat, she's big boned ]

If you say so, Major. The sooner I've got my dog, the sooner we can put that to the test.

It'll be fun. Actually, seeing how well Mako has worked out for you and Shepard is one of the reasons I decided to take this on.

Er -- Really?

I mean... I don't know if we're the picture of perfect ownership... unless you're trying to outdo us.

Which...probably wouldn't be that hard.

[Jacob chuckles.]

No, I'm not trying to outdo you. Owning dogs isn't a competition. I'm not sure how you'd even run a contest like that.

[But now he may be getting ideas...]

Maybe by who has the better behaved dog?

Although I'm pretty sure Mako would be an automatic lose. She's... Not always the best at behaving.

Really? She always seems so sweet. Has she been having... accidents?

What?

Of course not! She's just... spoiled.

You can thank Shepard for that one.

Just Shepard? You sure about that, Major?

[SKEPTICISM.]

Um, I'm not the one who feeds her table scraps.

7th Mission // Video

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