video;

[wizzardly]

Right, so it's been brought to my attention that those bloody awful reports have been floating certain rumors around about me, and I'd rather just end those before they even get going all right?

[because even Rincewind's starved sense of self-respect has to draw the line at people thinking he fancies dishware.]

So, to be clear: I'm pansexual.

[which is an admittedly backwards linguistic for declaring one's lack of attraction to tea cups and related sundry, but there's just no accounting for etymological taste.]

There? [he arches a pointed brow.] Shall I assume that just about does it? All questions answered? Jolly good.

[honestly, the people in this place really will believe anything, won't they? Lucky that Snart fellow pointed this out when he did - things really could have gotten out of hand.]

Comments

[wizzardly]

[that deserves a grimace.]

...I suppose it's only lucky I wasn't using my reputation to begin with. You know, you barely know you have a thing until you set it on fire.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I wouldn't say you had no reputation -- in the fandom, I mean. Just perhaps one that would not suit your tastes.

[wizzardly]

Oh, yes. "Fandom". [he scoffs.] I've been familiar with some addled monarchies in my time, but that one still takes the biscuit.

How do you manage yours?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I find that humoring them often staves off their hunger... You do not want them ravenous, Rincewind.

Just imagine what the starving will create.

[wizzardly]

[typically only hardened war vets wear an expression quite this haunted.]

I'd rather not if I don't have to.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You do not have to.

[wizzardly]

Marvelous.

This all started because your party made the papers, you know. Which I hope you enjoyed. The party, I mean. Nothing caught fire and there were no violent spies - points in its favor, I thought.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I did enjoy the party, yes. It surprises me that the outcome was an investigation into your sexuality, given the purely platonic context.

[wizzardly]

Which apparently has nothing to do with dishware.

But of course. Purely platonic. You'd think they've never seen a wizard throw his psychiatrist best friend a party before.

[slightlyoffchilt]

-- Best friend?

[Fishing for confirmation? Maybe.]

[wizzardly]

Should I not have said that?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I just. Enjoy that we agree.



On our mutual status.

[wizzardly]

[mutual. Mutual. Chilton thinks Rincewind's his best friend. Has he ever been that? For anyone?]

Right. Well. Always nicer to agree than not.

I'll try not to let the other orderlies know, when I start work. So they don't get jealous.

[that is a lie, he will absolutely be that petty.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I do not think they can do anything about it, legally speaking.

[And he was 100% serious.]