2.0 \ VIDEO.mov

[snarkbot]

[ Skeets has figured out how to connect to the Network with his mind using his nannite tattoo, which is really quite useful for him especially. So while this is video, everything is from Skeet’s perspective. And currently his perspective isn’t very good. To say he's in a "messy apartment" would be an understatement.

Clothes are definitely not where they're supposed to be, there are several empty pizza boxes and other signs of food scattered around. Plates with bread crusts, seemingly unwashed for a while, with paper plates for when one is too lazy to just wash off a real plate. Envelopes and papers are just hodgepodge everywhere.

While he speaks, he’s tidying. With his little robot hands he picks up these things and puts them back where they came from, to the best of his ability to guess where something might have possibly come from. He removes garbage, puts said dishes in the sink, and sorts through papers. ]

This is a public service announcement. If this is what your room, house or apartment looks like, it is a disaster of untold proportions and you should clean it.


[ He picks up a sock that is draped across a lampshade. ]

Look at that. This is unsustainable. You could be ported out at any time, and someone else will have to clean up your mess. That would be unpleasant for everyone involved.

[ Pause. ]

People like Mr. Kord should keep that in mind. [ HINT HINT. That’s less of a public service announcement and more of a very pointed aside for the owner of this particular space.

As he’s cleaning up a pile of papers unceremoniously stuffed in a drawer, he comes across a particular piece of paper. ]

Not to mention, you may damage or misplace important documents, like this marriage certificate! That shouldn’t be left out in --

[ He stops abruptly. Marriage certificate? What?

And then he actually looks at the paper more closely. Since everything is from Skeets' point of view, the network gets a very clear look at the evidence that Ted Kord and Michael Jon Carter (with a scribbled out “Booster Gold" and little drawn star next to that name), were legally married in Las Vegas on January 1st, 2016.

Skeets looks at the paper for a very, very long moment. One could almost say that he’s in shock. ]

Excuse me.

[ And then he cuts the feed. ]

Comments

text

[catchacold]

Guess you got a P.A. system installed?

text

[snarkbot]

Actually, yes. One of my many functions.

text

[catchacold]

Short for passive aggressive?

video;

[deadkord]

[ When Skeets threatened to clean his apartment, Ted didn't take it seriously and expect him to do it. He especially didn't expect him to livestream it. So he switched on his feed for a response partway through watching the video... but he also didn't expect him to unearth that particular document. ]

—That's not what it looks like.

video;

[snarkbot]

I'm disappointed you didn't tell me, sir. I would've gotten over not being able to be the best man. Best robot.

[ He actually sounds legitimately hurt. ]

[deadkord]

It's not— We're not— It didn't count!

video;

[brushoff]

What?! If I knew Booster liked men, I'd have made my move on him ages ago!

[ a pause, before Dorian hastily adds, ] Back when I was single, of course, no need to call me out on this, Toby.

[deadkord]

Goddammit Dorian that's not helping.

[brushoff]

I can't help it that your husband's attractive!

[ he is literally the only person who seriously bought a Booster Gold pin-up calendar Ted, you should have expected this ]

permavid

[snarkbot]

I believe it would have to be quite the move to compete with Ted Kord.

[ Skeets has very quickly gone past denial into "well everything makes way more sense now". ]

[video]

[gearshifting]

And I thought my room was wrecked.

[Which it is, but only with parts and specs and wires and tools. At least he doesn't leave food or dirty dishes lying around. And his clothes stay in the one corner.]

[deadkord]

[ Ted's just glad there's someone here who isn't commenting on his marriage. ]

It's organized chaos.

permavid

[snarkbot]

All the more reason to clean it now, sir, before it can reach this appalling state.

video;

[hunksmash]

Wow. You'd figure a married man would've gotten out of the messy bachelor-type living conditions by now.

[deadkord]

[ He's not even saying anything, his feed is just on showing Ted with his face buried in his hands. ]

[snarkbot]

Just imagine if his husband ported back in, only to find the place like this.

Voice

[dun_moch]

Appalling. Simply appalling.

[Dooku has resolved that mess of this level will be outlawed under the New Order.]

Permavoice

[snarkbot]

No other word for it, sir.

[deadkord]

Right? This is basically the greatest violation of privacy since the invention of the airport pat-down.

text

[hypnotherapy]

That's a terrible mess. [ SERIOUSLY, WHO LETS IT GET LIKE THIS ]

Do you need any assistance?

permatext

[snarkbot]

Terrible is an understatement. While humans are often more disorganized than my personal preferences, this is a bit much.

I have it covered, though even if I didn't I think if I involved anyone else he would throw a fit.

[deadkord]

It's just differently organized.

And he better not let any random people from the internet into my apartment.

Video

[khajidont]

They were actually together? I thought that was just Guy making a crack at --

[...he shouldn't say anymore.]

[khajidont]

Skeets! You can't just show off other people's private stuff over the network! I bet that was private for a reason. Probably. Even if being gay is totally not even a big deal here. I guess that explains a lot.

[deadkord]

No! Whatever Guy said was 100% inaccurate!