devoutish: (like booze ever killed anyone)
Alfie Solomons ([personal profile] devoutish) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2016-12-05 05:38 pm

💣 003 | audio

Yeah. This Christmas thing. It's just fucking over the top, innit? You do know we're barely into December? You need to calm down, all of you.

[Alfie's tone is chiding, but in a light and teasing way that isn't really meant to be taken as a serious condemnation - he's actually been in an okay mood these past couple of weeks. This is just one more car on the culture shock train. The Christmas celebrations and decorations that he's is used to seeing at home are much more subdued, and definitely don't start this early in the season.]

Is this an American custom, or a twenty-first century custom? If I were to pay a visit across the ocean, would the Europeans be kicking up this much of a fuss? Fucking hell.
snoobs: (:})

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ Quite possibly!! ]

Do religious men invite unmarried women into their homes?

[ There's another pause before her smile widens. ]

Unless body worship counts.
snoobs: (110)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ He's an ass kisser, but she eats it up anyway. ]

I won't argue there.

If you want any donations for your temple you'll have to come get it yourself.
snoobs: (055)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ She only grins back at him mischievously. ]

I'm over in house number nine here.
snoobs: (094)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
The evenings are fine.
snoobs: (107)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
You would make a lady wait?
snoobs: (111)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 05:49 am (UTC)(link)
Then come over.

[ She might have some wine still around... ]
snoobs: (046)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
I'll be seeing you, Alfie.

[ action/log/WHATEVER YOU WANT? ]
snoobs: (037)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She's already busted out an opened bottle of wine, having left it on the kitchen counter so she can go and open the front door. Were it not for Hemali's presence, the house would have been giving off a very empty and lonely vibe.

However, Hemali isn't alone; there's a peculiar damp smell that comes from somewhere in the living room, accompanied by dirt and leaves. It's not overwhelming in the least, but it's certainly out of place among concrete walls and wooden floors. ]


More bread? Are you trying to make me fat, Alfie?
snoobs: (129)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-08 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Ding ding ding. There is, indeed, a large snake habitat in the living room with its doors left wide open. The snake, however, seems to be missing from its cozy, little nest which Hemali may have overdone for the sake of its comfort. It looks large and expensive, for one. ]

It'll go straight to my thighs.

[ She heads toward the pantry, fishing out two wine glasses and setting them on the counter. ]
snoobs: (072)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-09 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
[ She cocks her head to the side, looking at Alfie innocently. ]

Dhia is not a pet, but she does need a place to sleep.

[ Where is Dhia? That remains a mystery. ]
snoobs: (033)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-09 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
[ She flashes him a grin, as if a large snake loose in the house isn't a terrible prospect for anyone involved. ]

She won't hurt you — unless I tell her to.

[ Hemali steps away from the counter, moving toward the entrance of the kitchen and peering around a corner to call out: ]

Dhia, come say hello.

[ After a minute, a large and vibrant python slithers into the kitchen, keeping close to Hemali the entire time. A tongue flicks out on occasion to taste the air, beady eyes focused on Alfie's form. ]
snoobs: ( ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇʜᴏʟᴅᴇʀ ) (075)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-09 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ His reaction only amuses her, evoking a hearty laugh. ]

Isn't she a beauty?

[ She bends down and reaches a finger for the blood python's head, who in turn lifts itself so it gets close enough to Hemali's face, flicking her tongue out against Hemali's nose.

It tickles. ]


Don't worry, she's not poisonous.
snoobs: (069)

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[personal profile] snoobs 2016-12-09 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Do you honestly think I'd invite someone over only to have them eaten?

[ The answer is yes, but Alfie hasn't gotten on her bad side, so he's safe.

Besides, the poor python would suffer if it tried to eat Alfie. Hemali, on the other hand, would make it quick and simple.

She gets to her feet, the python lowering herself back to the floor and slithering her way back into the living room where her cozy habitat is. ]


Are you afraid?

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