21 ⚜ Misfired Text

[restingstitchface]

[Attached is a single message: it's not the worst he's written, but it's up there.]

Is it unethical to inform children Santa isn't real?

Comments

[oddbod]

Frequently. I'm very perceptive.

[restingstitchface]

I can see that.

[That perception joke's bad enough it doesn't warrant response, either.]

Frequently aiming that perception at your friend, I suppose?

[oddbod]

I don't need to perceive anything about him. I just know.

[restingstitchface]

Knowledge comes from someone or somewhere. How and why do you "just know"?

[oddbod]

It happens when you're that close to someone. You don't even have to think about it - you just turn their way and understand.

[restingstitchface]

[Hmm. A puzzle to solve, that.]

So. From empathy, then?

[What is it? HE DOES NOT KNOW.]

[oddbod]

[She tries not to laugh.]

From love.

[restingstitchface]

[Well, isn't that nice?]

Ah. Of course. Do you love him?

[oddbod]

I do. [Albeit not in the way he might be asking.] Try it one day, you goof.

[restingstitchface]

[He did.]

I honestly hope you're joking about my doing anything of the sort.

[oddbod]

I'm not! Even cold, loathsome supervillains can love.

[restingstitchface]

[A pause. Then he clicks his tongue in his cheek.]

Well, I'm glad you're feeling well enough in humor that you believe that. You'll probably carry on believing it. Though it's merely a chemical reaction and nothing more.

[oddbod]

[She pops her finger out, like a scientist approaching an important thesis.]

Funny, because I don't have functioning chemicals, and I can still love plenty.

[restingstitchface]

Is that so?

[He tilts his head. Love isn't an argument he wants to be focusing on, honestly.]

Then let me change that. I'm glad you're feeling well enough to be alive at all, frankly.

[Maybe he'll get to open her up a bit? Literally. For science!]

[oddbod]

There's no changing me, mister. I'm a doornail, and proud.

[Okay, the last bit is an exaggeration, but she's not about to spill her self-loathing to this lunatic.]

[restingstitchface]

Dead as a doornail.

[He isn't bothered; death and that eerie air that follows were things he had lived alongside for a very long time.]

Birthdays must be a riot.

[oddbod]

Yeah, but not 'cause of that. I'm just really good at celebrating.

[restingstitchface]

[The real question: what scares dead people? He wants to spook one. Needs it. Life goals!]

Oh, I don't doubt you are. Still, I hope you're enjoying yourself.