004; text - MISFIRE

[hardcorduroy]

(it's a cool, brisk december morning as wendy sets up the cafe as per usual. and being wendy, who is a teenager, is naturally a little off at like 4 in the morning. and also able to tap into her extreme inner weirdness. so she decides to fire up a text at a good buddy of hers.)

hey when are you gonna ask him out also do you think pigeons have feelings bc i think they are soulless monsters i mean have you seen those dead beady eyes wtf

(she is fully expecting ulvida to kill her for this and it will have been a worthwhile death.)

Comments

text;

[rideme]

uh

why the fuck are you asking me that

also no pigeons are food not feelings

text;

[ursawhiner]

I kind of already have a boyfriend???

And that's a no to the pigeon thing. They're closer to dinosaurs than anything else.

text;

[sasaeru]

Maybe even soulless things can have feelings, Wendy Corduroy.

[she's IGNORING THAT FIRST PART]

[driftsintobuffetline]

I'm thinking I'll ask him out AFTER I marry him

Also, be nice to pigeons. Ever seen The Birds?

[performance]

Maybe underneath those dead beady eyes beats the heart of a lover.

text

[unfortunatechemistry]

...does this have to do with my head.

I don't actually talk to birds.

[glitterateur]

is someone asking someone out?!!??!

[missleadingquestions]

p sure this isn't for me but I aaaabsolutely wanna know now (❛ัॢᵕ❛ั ॢ)

also aren't pigeons just gray doves???

text;

[hardcorduroy]

(okay swearing was not on the list of possible answers which means...)

okay is this bull and also ew why would you eat pigeons

text;

[hardcorduroy]

(well at least it's easy to figure out who people are.)

yeah my bad, i forgot the comms are freaking out, this was supposed to go to someone else

dude does that mean a t rex looked like a giant chicken

text;

[hardcorduroy]

highly doubt it i've met soulless things they do not have feelings

also answer my other question, it's embarrassing to watch you two

PRIVATING IMMEDIATELY;

[sasaeru]

Then don't watch. There is no when!

[hardcorduroy]

because THAT makes perfect sense

no but i've seen "radioactive flying rats" and that was a trip

[hardcorduroy]

that's implying they have hearts

which is a pretty big assumption

OH MY GOD ULVIDA HONEY

[hardcorduroy]

IT'S KINDA HARD TO NOT WATCH WHEN BOTH OF YOU COME INTO THE CAFE AT SEPARATE TIMES AND ONLY TALK ABOUT EACH OTHER

HOW ARE YOU NOT DATING

WHAT THE HELL

text

[hardcorduroy]

wait what you can talk to birds

also who are you

[hardcorduroy]

no bc they're dumb as bricks mabel

they come into the cafe and only ever talk about each other

it's like a bad romcom

[hardcorduroy]

oh man maya dude do you know how hard it is watching stupid in love teenagers not get it

also no they're not they're evil little things

[missleadingquestions]

actually not really??? never done it before

doesn't that just mean doves are evil

[helladoomed]

[Chloe is enjoying these misfires way too much.]

i'll ask them out when I'm good and ready!

pigeons are just misunderstood little shitbirds.

[sasaeru]

What Gran does in his free time isn't under my jurisdiction.

We grew up together. Can we not talk about someone we've known for so long if we aren't dating?

[glitterateur]

you mean an AWESOME romcom!!

ok how about we lock them both in the cafe at the same time??

and they can't leave until they've talked about their feelings!!

[starlinings]

[Well. Relationship gossip shouldn't be his business, so he'll move onto that second part.]

Even the smallest of hearts still beat, Wendy-san

text;

[rideme]

yeah its me hi

also they eat em in orlais except they call them squab or some shit

text

[unfortunatechemistry]

...you should ask my classmate Kouji but he's not here.

Tokoyami.