💣 004 | text | backdated to the 10th

[devoutish]

[Who knows who this is meant for. Whoever it is, they're not getting it; it's showing up on the public network instead.]

I bring her sweetbread, she's got wine in the kitchen, things are going very nicely. Then a giant fuck-off snake slithers into the room, as long as I am tall and thick as my forearm.

I'm telling you, mate, I nearly left right then and there.

Comments

[acclimatized]

That does sound like a deal breaker.

[devoutish]

You're also not a fan of pythons?

[acclimatized]

Not really. I once visited someone's house for work and his flat was full of snakes. It was like a reptile house.

[devoutish]

Was he eating them? I'm beginning to get the impression that that isn't uncommon.

[acclimatized]

No, they were pets. Was your person going to eat the python?

[devoutish]

No, she wasn't.

[acclimatized]

Okay, good. Otherwise that definitely would have been a deal breaker.

[devoutish]

I'll pass that along, mate. She'll be happy to hear that she isn't one.

[private; audio]

But now it's your turn, eh? You've intercepted my story; surely you have an interesting one of your own.

[acclimatized]

[ he was just fumbling with the handset when it switches to audio. oh thank god. ]

Not as interesting as huge pythons. Dream catchers hanging above the bed.. a good throwing arm and impeccable aiming skills. Stuff like that.

pprivate audio forever]

[devoutish]

What's a dream catcher?

[acclimatized]

It's something people hang over their beds. Apparently it catches bad dreams and just gives you good ones. Never tried it myself, so I don't know how well it works.

[ and he never will. ]

[devoutish]

Mm. Magic or technology?

[acclimatized]

Magic mostly. I think it was a Native American thing originally.

[devoutish]

Well, I don't know much about them. What do they do with their bad dreams, once they're caught?

[acclimatized]

Erm.. just keeps them, I guess? I've never had one, so I'm not too sure.

[devoutish]

Mm. I thought you might say it would set them on one's enemies.

[acclimatized]

That would be interesting, but it's just a bit of wood, string and feathers. I'm sure she would have sent something to me if it could.

[devoutish]

Well, it's all about what they believe it can do, innit. If it's really just a bit of wood, string, and feathers, surely it can't really catch dreams, either.

[acclimatized]

Yeah, I suppose it comforts people who regularly have bad dreams. Placebo effect and all that.

[devoutish]

Placebo effect?

[acclimatized]

Uh, it's a saying. Sometimes, medical researchers would give patients a placebo pill, but they would believe in the treatment and the body's own chemistry causes similar effects to what a medication might have caused. It's basically mind over matter.

[ a beat ]

So what I'm saying is that if you believe a dream catcher can catch all your nightmares, then it would probably work.

[devoutish]

How far does this theory go? Can you think a broken leg away?

[acclimatized]

Are you being serious?

[devoutish]

[Who knows, Watson.]

Placebo effect, yeah?

I've got back pain; I told you about that once. Can I think that away?

[acclimatized]

I really think you'd benefit from those treatments I suggested. Did you go and see a doctor about it in the end?