006. ( video. )

[magnitudes]

( Ah, it’s a heartwarming holiday scene, viewers. Sarissa, lounging on a couch, somehow inexplicably still with severe tank top tanlines despite a) it being winter and b) her wearing a tank top, which surely should theoretically make the tanlines less apparent. Not today, apparently. It reads “Sorry for the thing I said when I was hungry,” but perhaps “Sorry for what I’m about to say now I’m drunk” would be more fitting. She’s got a neon curly straw sticking out of a bottle of bourbon, and a cocktail umbrella tucked behind her ear, and appears to be wearing tropical board shorts. It’s just that kind of day. Or night. Whatever.

Sitting next to her is Pablo, who is wearing a striped cardigan, black shorts, and fiddling with his bangs and a straightening iron until he notices that Sarissa is recording. He frees his hair and sets the iron aside, picking up instead his own drink of choice (non-alcoholic; it's a capri-sun pouch) so he can more easily listen. )

Okay, but like. Okay, no, sorry, but if you think about any of the stuff that all of us across all our bloody worlds have gotta have in common, it’s art, yeah? Like— creativity. Art and poems and music, the expression of everything that makes us who we are given some kinda solid shape. Whether its colours or melodies or whatever form we gotta grab and twist about, it’s expressions of the world and how we understand it, right? It’s a way to know that we’re not going out of our bloody minds, because there’s thing element that we can understand and connect with, and it links us to other people. It’s why people got all fired up about the Spice Girls, a while back.

( That isn’t actually what happened, Sarissa, but sure. Go with that. ) And Pablo here, he’s an artist. Makes the world make sense with colours. Everything is colours and— and texture. It’s stories all layered up and up, kind of like people. We’re all hundreds of thousands of stories all layered together and then laid out.

What? Oh, uh...

( Pablo seems to not know what to say about that, given his silence, though if he feels put on the spot it doesn't show on his face. He starts to shake his head, but then instead opts to say: )

Right. Well you know, I don't know if it even has to exactly make sense, if like... we can still look at it and feel something, because either somehow we do understand it, on the level of like... uh... ( He gestures circularly over his head, glancing in Sarissa's direction for a moment but then upward. How to say it? ) You know, intuitively, even if we don't know why, or what anything really means. Or we don't understand but try to, or-- sometimes people don't want to. It all depends. But, uh-- yeah, it's still a little bit of everything and everyone we've ever known, too. Like stories.

( He stops talking and looks back over at Sarissa. )

Or a jigsaw puzzle. Or, uh— there’s this art, in Japan? Kint— ah, shit. Kintsuko...roi? It’s um, it’s like the to do with change and journeys and things gathering more meaning. I guess. I mean technically it’s about repairing broken stuff with gold lacquer, but it’s like an extra layer? Like a new addition to the story. Somethings not less perfect for being broken, and it doesn’t lose something. It gains it? I don’t know, make that a metaphor, if you wanna. People and art fit together. ( She grins, a bit ridiculously. ) And if they don’t, we can glue ‘em together with gold lacquer. It could get very Klimpt. Or Kahlo.

( Sarissa frowns, then, as she delicately sips her bourbon. ) Does anyone else do that? Like finding ways to express the way they understand things more tangibly? Like an enigma machine for your thoughts?

Comments

permatext, private, etc etc.

[magnitudes]

( hang on, her reply takes a while because 1. art rants and 2. she is so, so drunk. )

do you have art opinions i have offended

[coppelganger]

you know exactly what i'm talking about

[magnitudes]

obviously i don't
maybe if you explained it via interpretive dance

( and then, not long after )

oh wait is this because i told tiger i was at your place when she was upset and wanted to see me but actually i was packing boxes here

[coppelganger]

[ There's a long pause while Sarah mouths "What the fuck?" ]

no, it's about ruby.

[magnitudes]

oh

yeah, your favourite most reliable greatest person ever, of course

she started talking to me, on my post, and I tried to explain. yeah, terrible of me, I know.

[coppelganger]

mate, what the hell is your problem with her?

[magnitudes]

( "she helps you and i fuck shit up" would be one reply; inadequate, sure, but honest.
"she had your back when I was having a total mental breakdown and screening calls from everyone" would be another
"witnessed the kavinsky disaster"
"overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and also jealousy"

instead: )

almost as tall as satan
horrible quality in women, tallness
gives me horror flashbacks

( jess is taller than ruby tho bro )

[coppelganger]

good thing i'm the one dating her and not you then, innit?

1/?

[magnitudes]

( A LONG SILENCE so long in fact,

[magnitudes]

that two comments is definitely justified. and maybe another—

okay i'm good

[magnitudes]

just to emphasise how melodramatic this garbage child is, esp when drunk. )

you're dating someone and didn't tell me?

[coppelganger]

i was going to tell you, just couldn't find a good time.

[magnitudes]

since when?

hey, you know she asked out cosima, right? and now she's dating you. what, if you weren't into it was she gonna ask out alison? christ, thank god she had to stop before she got to rachel. can you imagine that shitshow?

question, did you keep seeing beth's guy once he found out you weren't her? is this a thing with you, settling for people who like you because you look like someone else? just wondering if we need to stage an intervention.

[coppelganger]

the night of your party. didn't tell you cos i knew you'd act like a spoiled little twat about it. god forbid everything not be about you for five minutes.

why don't you go fuck off and shut up about shit you've got NO IDEA about. don't talk about paul. don't talk about beth. you didn't know them, you'll never know them. fuck you.

a multi-part adventure

[magnitudes]

You didn't know Beth either, Sarah.

You have no idea how fucked up the people here are, you have no idea what I know about people here, so you don't get to be angry with me for trying to protect you

( She's shaking. She's being cruel, and she's being awful and she knows it, and she hates it, she hates not reining herself in and being in control and she hates every part of what she's saying, but she can't protect Sarah and she can't tell her about Gabriel, the same way she can't tell anyone, and Ruby just seems suspicious with all her interest and conveniently being around and knowing things and—

Sarissa is having a complete meltdown, being entirely irrational, and her hands are shaking, and she hits send and swears loudly. Pablo, please help. )

/SLIDES IN HERE

[aojona]

[ This message still comes from Sarissa's communicator, but-- ]

orry I'm sorry
it,s Pablo

[ He's not a fast typer but this seems important. It gets slightly less discombobulated once he manages balancing this and trying to take care of Sarissa: ]

I'm not going to read it I know its private ,
but I dont know if she said something she probably didn't really mean it like that
or if its just maybe an intense conversation
she's pretty drunk and um shes crying I'm sorry

I'm not trying to um I dont know what happened you can feel however you want to
I didnt know what else to do

BELATED ACTION

[magnitudes]

( Hi Pablo

so sorry but

she is basically a drunk sobbing octopus that is currently draped on you

so sorry

so

so sorry

sorry

in fact that's just about what she's trying to say, albeit brokenly and ineffectively. )

[aojona]

It's fine. It's okay...

[ Pablo lets her hang off him, one hand on her shoulder while the other tries to grapple for and into his bag. He doesn't think he has any water in there, though... but maybe juice or some kind of packaged food. Or--

Feeling around blindly, he manages to find a banana and carefully tries to pull it out without jostling Sarissa too much. It's from that day, at least, so it's not too bruised or otherwise inedible. ]

You should maybe try to eat something. Or drink some water? I can get you some water.

[magnitudes]

I don't get hungover. Powers.

( Thank God for enhanced recovery. Paper cuts are almost completely a thing of the past. Sadness and bad choices, however, remain.

And despite that she is still taking the banana, because food is comfort. Is there anything sadder than a depressed Australian failing at peeling a banana, with a tropical umbrella behind her ear, no less?

Well. Maybe actual world tragedies, or something. Whatever. ) Saroula— ( Her breath hitches, and shudders, ) hates me.

[aojona]

Are you sure? You don't want coffee or anything...?

[ Pablo gently takes the banana back so he can help get her started, returning it to Sarissa halfway unpeeled -- he'd have done the whole thing, but maybe it'll be a good thing for her to focus on for however long it takes her to finish the job. He doesn't move from the couch, though, and won't unless she does want water or coffee or something else; it seems better he stay close otherwise. ]

She doesn't hate you. Why would she hate you? [ He shakes his head once, gaze dropping to his hands, clasped loosely between his knees. ] She might be upset right now, but that's okay. I mean...

[ In all honesty, he's not entirely sure how to give advice for this kind of thing -- it's a numb subject, upsetting family. Siblings. ]

People are different, right? We don't always know how, uh-- [ He pauses, working the words out in his head carefully. ] ... Well, actually, I don't think we can. Like, live an impact-less existence -- everything we do or that we don't do matters, and sometimes, um... it's hard.

But... it helps to have faith in the people you love. Most of the time, they want to forgive you. So-- like, that can inspire you to do what you need to in order to feel like you've earned it, you know?

[magnitudes]

( At a good moment Sarissa might be able to articulate the degree of what she said, or go into specifics. Right now though she's sort of too beside herself and breathing too ragged to make the words stumble out, and she just kind of sniffs and breaths in a shaky breath as she lets the banana be taken and returned. Maybe its for the best, because it means instead of being distracted piecing together all the words to reply to Pablo and how to make it make sense what she did, without explaining Beth and Paul and giving away Sarah's secrets. Her brain still feels like cotton thats been soaked in water and then stretched out as far as it can go, mind you, but at least she isn't like that and trying to make sense of things. )

I don't deserve it. And I can't earn it. I spend too much time setting shit up in flames. Arson is arson. Destructive and wrong. Dangerous. After a point... repeat offenders should just get what's coming to 'em. No more chances.

( It's not her best metaphor, granted, but she has the banana and she should eat it - that's what her self comforting leads her to much of the time, food and contact - but she swallows thickly and just keeps it in her hand, untouched. Considering his offer again, she asks, )

Would coffee be okay?

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah has a feeling that she should feel sorry for Sarissa, or at least try to feel a little less angry with her, but she can't. She knows Sarissa's going through something, but she can't be her sister's punching bag every time she feels bad. She can't be the understanding one every time this happens, every time Sarissa starts to run her mouth (or her typing fingers, whatever) and says a bunch of mean shit. ]

oh, great.
tell her i hope she's pleased with herself.
and tell her she better not be showing up at mine tonight. i've got company and i don't have time to babysit.
good luck, pablo.

[aojona]

Okay. Don't worry I'll stay here with her, I hope this didnt ruin your night I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to take sides or anything I just want to help
So um if there 's something else I can do you can let me know if you want to. For either of you I mean.

[coppelganger]

yeah, i get it. don't worry about it. just make sure she doesn't do anything stupid.

[ It would be easy to be curt with him if he wasn't so nice. ]

[aojona]

[ Uh oh, what qualifies as "stupid"... well, he'll wing it. ]

I'll do my best. Do you want me to tell her anything?