THE MAJORITY REPORT: DECEMBER 20TH, 2016

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: DECEMBER 20TH, 2016

RAISING THE BAR
As seen in newspapers, local news channels, and business insider magazines:
Good news for workers looking for jobs in Maurtia Falls!

Due to rising prosperity within the city and increased tourism, many businesses will be raising their wage pay rates in the new year. The success has been attributed to Ambassador Petyr Baelish by a large number of these business owners, citing him as the sole reason for their decision.

"I don't know how he does it. But he came to me promising to turn my bar around. We had a great spot in the city, but not too many customers, you see." Claims Peter Drinklage of Pour Decisions Bar. "But since Ambassador Baelish made his promise and helped to get the word out, business has been booming! He's done great things for our city, and I can only see it getting better from here. I used to hate imPorts. But now I say, bring them on! Most of them are drunks anyway, so they can always get a discount at my bar."

Maurtia Falls is shining brightly into the new year!

HEARTWARMING
As seen on major news outlets and imPort speculation boards:
In something of a Christmas Miracle, another two children who had gone missing in the last six months were returned to their families. They, too, reported that an 'angel' had saved them from the people that had taken them. Both children were from Nonah, though the polices say one was found in Heropa and the other close to Maurita Falls. A package was left with both of them leaving details about where they were found for investigation. Unfortunately, there was nothing in the package to indicate who might have left it.

Alicia Jefferies, the little girl who had been taken to Heropa following her abduction, said that the 'angel' had a 'friend' helping him. So far the only difference in any of the stories of rescue thus far. As with the first child found by this 'angel', none of the children have given further descriptions of him. And if any of the three know his name so we know who to thank, none seem willing to give it.

BREADWINNER
As seen on Rumblr and Bwitter:
A freshly baked meme has taken the internet by storm! People are posting this image of an imPort with punny hashtags like #MuchKneadedRelief or #PoundingDoughTonight. Super markets have seen an uptick in breaded good sales as individuals mimic the pose and posture of this imPort for their own spin on the phenomena. Will this be the last meme of 2016?

MODEL CITIZENS
As seen on TMI and all major imPort gossip magazines:
Let's hear it for the hottest imPort models this world's stage has to offer! These stunning beauties have inspired fresh and bold make-up lines featuring their signature self! Get engulfed in a sunset palette inspired by Hemali, or beautiful spring lip gloss line that screams Fluttershy! Even Komasan is muse to a neon eyeshadow that is simply out of this world!

KISS AND TELL
As seen on TMI's First Scoop TV segment, website, and magazine article; other celebrity and imPort gossip venues; Heropa's Next Top Model:
'Just Kiss Already!' has officially turned to 'They Kissed!' for imPort couple Daryl Dixon and Mako Mori.

The last month and a half they've been denying any involvement with each other beyond the strictly professional, but we were there -- reporting on Heropa's Next Top Model imPort Contest when the two simply couldn't stop themselves from sharing a lip-lock during the Beauty and Decay photo shoot.

It was one sweet kiss that's sure to keep them warm with or without the fireplace.

(Several shots from the photoshoot in question accompany the segment.)

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from PEPPERMINT to CONSTANTINE LIME because it's both a slant rhyme and a mean joke.

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The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.