011 ★ Video

[unbreaker]

I guess it's that time again, huh?

[Despite being dressed in a stark white shirt, matte black tie, and lacking his usual over-the-top effects, Josuke's face is lit up like the sun. He waves at the camera, giving the people he's speaking to his undivided attention. Behind him, people dressed similarly amble in the direction of Heropa's police academy, most seeming to pay him no mind, but a couple of the younger adults stopping to wave at the recording camera as some people can't help but do.]

There's a lot of new imPorts showing up. Think I even saw some heading to the houses near mine. Reminds me of when I got here two years ago...it's kinda hard to believe I'm going on the third year already.

[He scratches at the back of his head and then shrugs.]

Can't say it's been bad, though! I've met a lot of great people and had a lot of fun. But things can get sort of wild around here, you know? Which is what I really wanted to talk about. As amazing as this place can be...there's a lot of shit to watch out for and people to be wary of.

[Not naming any names, of course. Not yet.]

But don't worry. It really does get easier, and you're not alone.

[With a toothy grin, Josuke gives the camera a thumbs up.]

Anyway...I'm probably in for a long day here, but I'm thinking of catching a movie later. Any of you wanna come along, maybe make some friends and get to know the ropes a little, you're more than welcome!

Comments

[oceanthief]

What kind of expression is that? You might as well be saying you're putting rocks in the food.

[which...she thinks that humans can't eat. shit. can they eat rocks? ah, fuck.]

[unbreaker]

[Josuke shakes his head and sighs heavily. Explaining shit to a Gem is not an easy task. They're as hardheaded as their name implies!]

I don't know anyone who says or even does that, for one. And for another, it's the kind of expression that means...they're taking great care with what they're making so that it's perfect and the person or people eating the meal will be really satisfied! That's why authentic cuisine from other cultures is the best! Because they care about getting the recipes right and not throwing in really gross substitutes! You...follow?

[oceanthief]

[Lapis momentarily clenches a tiny fist to her chest in silent triumph at having made an assumption about humans that wasn't completely off. they don't eat rocks, fuck yes. it's probably completely nonsensical to Josuke, but she doesn't even consider this.]

What's the matter with just saying that in the first place?

[unbreaker]

You want the truth?

Humans are pretty lazy and impatient, so shortening things is kinda how we roll! Er...that is, it's just kind of what we do.

[oceanthief]

You're all way too behind to be doing stuff like that.

[unbreaker]

Maybe by your standards, but it works for us!

[oceanthief]

I'm not so sure about that.

[unbreaker]

Whaddya mean?

[oceanthief]

You're letting people think you eat each other, for one.

[unbreaker]

Like you could do it better!

[oceanthief]

I don't have to, we don't need to eat at all.

[SO SHE KIND OF ALREADY HAS? EAT SHIT???]

[unbreaker]

...cheater.

[oceanthief]

[WOW WHAT her shoulders shoot up defensively as if he'd given her a good hit with a gem destabilizer.]

It's not my fault you can't generate your own energy!

[unbreaker]

I don't know, maybe it is your fault. Maybe Gems are sabotaging our development by stomping all over our self-esteem!

[oceanthief]

Humans eat the same way even on universes we don't exist in! If you feel bad about it then you have to do something.

[unbreaker]

Maybe you just want us to think you don't exist! You could be everywhere!

[oceanthief]

We aren't. Both of us would know if there were gems in one of these other worlds.

[unbreaker]

How can you be so sure? You've probably spent so much time watching soaps you're out of touch with reality!

[oceanthief]

If gems existed in your world, you wouldn't even be thinking about complaining over something as stupid as your inefficient energy gathering.

[you would also possibly not have a place to live depending on how far into the colonization process they were. hard to tell.]

[unbreaker]

...has anyone ever told you that you're way too literal?

[oceanthief]

A few people, yeah.

[unbreaker]

Lemme guess, it was in one ear and out the other?

[oceanthief]

I didn't let them get close enough to put anything in me, it was over the communicator.

[unbreaker]

[Josuke drops his communicator onto the ground and for several long seconds all that can be heard is a long-suffering groan. He knows he asked for this, but even so...this is so much worse than he thinks he deserved.]

[oceanthief]

[she waits several seconds to see if he's coming back, but it seems like she's destined to just listen to him sound like he stuffed himself full of too much heartful food.]

...was I not supposed to?

[the idea of having something filtered through her head is so unappealing, though...]