maskormenace | THE MAJORITY REPORT: JANUARY 20TH, 2017

THE MAJORITY REPORT: JANUARY 20TH, 2017Due to the eastern-side blackout of imPort cities (and areas surrounding them), many of these stories will be reported in national newspapers that can still be physically delivered into the affected areas. News spread viral by the internet or television will eventually be accessible -- especially if you happen to be situated in an unaffected area.

BANKS, SEE
As seen in local papers:
Reports of bank robberies have spiked in the past couple of days. Maurtia Falls and Heropa banking establishments had been notably targeted, which provoked suspicion of imPort involvement. Authorities will not address these claims, but the rumor alone is enough to spark tensions. Heropean locals in particular have concentrated efforts to coalesce in temporary vigilante groups to better protect vulnerable businesses.

LIKE A KICK IN THE TABLOINS
As seen in TMI Magazine:
Blackout? BUST OUT. If you have any photos shot of ImPorts being naughty in the dark of the night (or otherwise), send them TMI's way! You could earn up to $3,000 per picture depending on the quality of your photo and what imPorts are depicted within! Note to all you amateur paparazzi: the more candid, the better! Catch an Ambassador with their pants down, and you're sure to hit jackpot! All images sold to TMI are henceforth property of TMI Inc. upon contractual signature.

GIVE ME A BREAK
As seen on national television, and written about in national newspapers:
A RECORD NUMBER of criminally incarcerated prisoners escaped from their respective federal and state prisons during the first 48 hours of the power blackout that hit multiple cities. Some of these criminals are rumored to have been metahumans, a rumor that remains unconfirmed. When reporters pushed the matter, they were silenced on matters of "national security" and ridiculed for "slanting the news". No word yet on what could have caused the unprecedented blackout -- but unnamed sources claim even the imPort communication Network suffered a power loss. Despite this technological difficulty, anecdotal reports cite imPorts in aiding the capture of the escaped criminals.

Citizens are advised to remain indoors and safe, unless absolutely necessary to go outside. This is not a time for "vigilante antics".

NOT THE NIGHT NURSE
As seen on national news networks:
The already encumbered hospitals in the main imPort cities have suffered a deeper blow with the mysterious, and unaccounted for, power blackout. Patients in critical conditions have been coding more than average and with an severe understaffing issue afoot, hospitalized survival rates are suffering incredible lows. Maurtia Falls hospitals are reaching out to imPorts of any healing capacity to help save lives, if they can.

ROM COM-MUNICATION
As seen in BNZ syndication, then turns internet viral on BlueTube with the #1 most watched trailer trending. Posters are soon to follow, and only one of them features a raccoon:
MULTIVERSAL PICTURES, leading makers of romantic films such as LOVE NATURALLY, THE FEDERAL HOLIDAY, and I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU BUCK AND GARY has announced its Valentine's Day feature, and it's a SHOCKER! BNZ has breaking news that this year's is an IMPORTED FEST. Revolving around imPorts APRIL LUDGATE and WILL GRAHAM, THE WORLD IS ENOUGH promises to deliver drama, sizzling romance, action, and plenty of cameos to keep audiences delighted for two and half hours! Take a look at the trailer below and give us YOUR thoughts in the comments.

((The trailer is fairly typical of a romance; both April and Will are more well-groomed than usual, and everything is way more dramatic than it has any right to be. It's also quite obviously shot in Canada even as characters reference Florida. Baltimore's finest are represented, both Freds, their housemates, and then there's a great shot of a swear-in where they went All Out. The entire room is filled with imPort lookalikes. They can go nuts spotting themselves provided they were in game two years ago. Of course there is dramatic running and emotion shouting in the rain, as well as buildings and cars exploding because that's obviously just part of imPort romance. And dogs. So many dogs. The trailer song is this, and the tag line at the end is THIRD WORLD'S THE CHARM. Happy Valentine's Day!))

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from MELLOW to EBONY AS DARK'NESS because no light, no light.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wasn't me.

[ Dorian pushes himself out of his alcohol and depression induced coma.....to be exceedingly vain, good job being #onbrand, Dorian ]

They got me wrong in that stupid film about the imPorts saving Christmas, they could at least get my hair right in this trailer.

It looks better at other times.

That's good to hear. They got the dogs right, if they're that committed to accuracy then the least they could do is not make my hair so flat.

[There is a delay...before Dorian will find himself sent a picture of a SELFIE featuring the real Will Graham with Dorian's actor, where his hair looks Absolutely Perfect. They're smiling chummy enough, though Dorian's actor is throwing up the two-finger backhand salute.

Is he supposed to be sharing these? Probably not. But he is not a Tame Dog.]

[ Dorian sounds SO PLEASED. ]

Give me his name. I'll send him an autographed picture of myself and one of my old suitcoats. Even if he doesn't give a shit about me, they'll make him a fair amount of money on the imPort paraphernalia circuit.

He goes by Vladislav Alexzander. I'd imagine if you reached out to him on social media, you'd find yourself with an enthusiastic response quite soon.

What the hell sort of nationality is that? [ well technically it's Welsh. ] Still, I'll shoot him a dm on bwitter—by the way, you do have a social media presence, right? You're going to need it once this film comes out.

You can do that for me.

I'm already managing one social media presence, thank you very much. I'll at least set up your accounts, get them verified, and download the phone apps but any sort of posting is all on you.

Really, just post a picture of your dogs every now and then and people will love you.

I don't want to.

[dorian you forget he is always just one enormous crisis away from living in the woods with wolves]

You're a celebrity now. Whether you want to or not, it's expected.

I need to find more students. Can any other healers make it to Maurtia Falls? [Sabriel's a decent healer, but she knows there are better ones.]

Lady Sabriel. I currently reside in Maurtia Falls and would be more than willing to lend my assistance.

Thank you, Maester. There are multiple hospitals in the city- we should go to different ones, to help more people. [Sabriel's tone has slipped into something- not exactly bossy, but rather commanding.]

Of course.

[If Sabriel's tone bothers Seymour, he's careful not to let it show. Instead, his own voice is politely deferential.]

But I will need to know where you will be so that I will know where not to be, yes?

[Sabriel gives Seymour an address for one of the larger hospitals in Maurtia Falls.]

This is where I'm going.

Maester- good luck, and may the Charter be with you.

Thank you.

[As if he needs luck. Still, it would be rude not to return the sentiment, so before he disconnects, Seymour says...]

Take care, Lady Sabriel, and may Yevon be with you.

I will. Thank you.

[And with that, Sabriel shuts off her communicator. Time to get to work.]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: JANUARY 20TH, 2017

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