012 ★ Video (Filtered away from Kaneki)

[unbreaker]

Alright, I need a little help.

[Josuke is quick to the point when he addresses the network today. He may be at home, wrapped comfortably in a fuzzy blue throw blanket patterned with white stars and appearing for all the world like he's refusing to budge from his position on Heropa #004's couch, but he's nevertheless a man on a mission.]

See, I've got this friend...

[Ah, there it is. The reason for this Saturday afternoon interruption.

Josuke's even kind enough to include a picture! One he likely printed off his phone, but at least the face of one Ken Kaneki, blushing and embarrassed for some reason, is visible for all to see!]

...you probably all know him, so you know he's the kinda guy who worries more about other people than he does himself! And with Valentine's Day quickly approaching, it'd be a real shame if someone as smart, kind, and good-looking as Ken spent the day all by himself, right?

Which is where you guys come in!

[As he sits up, Josuke drops the TV remote off his lap and inevitably unmutes the television set in the room which...seems to be playing some kind of telenovela? Sure, why not. At least we know where he got this wild idea from.

After a moment of scrambling to mute that again, because Spanish expletives and jealous screaming is a little distracting, Josuke continues...]

I gotta find Ken a date!

[Because that's what good friends do.]

Or better yet, a bunch of dates! Because you can't find the one if you don't put yourself out there. So, which of you lucky people wants to sign up for an all-expenses-paid evening of fun with one of America's finest?

Come on, don't be shy!

Comments

permatext

[deadtective]

What's his number again? I can't remember off the top of my head.

[because the answer to that is using her comm to bug Josuke about it instead of...just looking up Kaneki's number on it herself. what a brat.]

[unbreaker]

what do you need his number for?

[deadtective]

For the bathroom wall in this erotic shop. Fucking duh.

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[dirtyredneck]

[Normally he stays out of the love lives of those around him, but this was someone else trying to push their way into the love life of someone in his group. And he needed to watch out for anyone in his group.]

He ask you to do this for him?

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[unbreaker]

of course not.

[Straightforward and honest. But he's not done there.]

ken's not the kind of guy who'd ask. ever. even when he needs the company. and he does.

[He won't say it, but he doesn't need to. Anyone who knows Kaneki knows that he's as lonely as they come.]

i figure this is pretty harmless. a coffee date or some mini golf, you know?

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[dirtyredneck]

Think he's old enough to make that call himself. If he ain't looking to get to know anyone that way, it's cause he don't want to. Don't think he'd appreciate these efforts of yours.

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[glitterateur]

what are you using to test whether people are gonna be worthy dates?!?!

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[unbreaker]

myself? unless you want the job, mabel. wanna help out?

[glitterateur]

um yes!!

this is basically my calling!!

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[amadaman]

That's a good picture you've got of him.

... I'm not signing up. I'm busy that day. But if you do get multiple dates where are they gonna be?

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[unbreaker]

He'd probably disagree, he wanted me to delete it when I took it!

[But it was the perfect dating profile shot! It showed him out with a friend and having fun! Or at least being expressive. That counts for something, right?]

As for where, um...I'll figure that out if multiple dates sign up! I thought about a nice coffee shop or a mini putt place, though. And there's also the library, the zoo, or maybe a cool museum!

[amadaman]

If it's museums, ones that have hands-on attractions might be nice. Activities you can do together instead of just staring at things. If you're getting him to go on a bunch of first dates it's probably going to be awkward to make him do sitting-down dates where he has to carry conversations...

I mean, unless you said he can make puns all day he'll probably go quiet. It's Sasaneki-san.

[ret2go]

Oh, that's the guy whose car I wrecked...

[unbreaker]

You wrecked his car?!

[ret2go]

There were kids stealing it, and I tried to stop them.

Uh, I did stop them.

[suldreen]

...does that ever work outside movies?

[ Someone's a tad skeptic. ]

[unbreaker]

I suppose that depends on how determined you are to make it work!

[suldreen]

Any luck so far?

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[itstheirworld]

You're a friend of his?

[She knows better than to surprised by just anything here anymore, but she is. Also there is a hint of amusement in her tone when asking her question, almost as if she's laughing in good nature. Because boys always will do something like this.]

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[unbreaker]

Last I checked, yeah. We're close.

I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're a friend of his, too? I'm Josuke.

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[itstheirworld]

That's a little surprising. But in a good way.

[A nod.] Something like that. [She doesn't want to come off as rude, but she is still getting to know him.] We live together.

And I'm Enid.

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[fridgeflower]

Ken was the first guy I went out with when I started dating again. And we kinda-sorta went on another date, if Satanic manipulation counts for anything.

Either way! Uh... That's not the point. I just think the subject's funny. The point is that he seems like a complicated guy. Do you know anything about his type? What he actually likes, I mean.

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[unbreaker]

I don't know if satanic manipulation counts, but um, he likes...blonds.

[It's not even a lie. Reiner and Hide were just as blond as Laurie is.]

That's probably not a deal-breaker, though...but someone unkind definitely wouldn't be his type.

[leaflets]

Onii-chan going on a date... I wonder if he'd know what to do?

[unbreaker]

I'm sure with a little coaching he'll be just fine!