(1) Voice

[outofthepast]

[There’s a few minutes of unsure tapping on the communicator’s microphone, accompanied by some quiet mumbling about radio frequencies. A voice with a Chicagoan accent that is just faintly reminiscent of Humphrey Bogart finally makes itself audible.]

Been a long time since I’ve seen one of these. Hope I’m not accidentally talking through somebody’s refrigerator.

Anyway, good afternoon, to everybody listening. Nick Valentine here. Nice to meet all my fellow "Imports," I guess, is what they're calling us. Figured I should get used to the broadcasting life, since that's what they've hired me to do. I always thought I had a face for radio.

[The slightest of pauses while he gathers his thoughts.]

I’ve been to a couple of hardware stores now and I think it’s time to swallow my pride and just ask. You folks wouldn’t happen to make Assaultron circuit boards yet, would you? Anything with titanium wiring and rad-guard circuits would work, though. My last diagnostics didn't look so good and I'd rather fix it before it gets too out-of-hand.

I’m starting to get the suspicion I’m out of luck on that one.

While I’m on the subject, though, anybody know a good mechanic? I’m not half bad myself, but I could probably use a primer on all this old tech. Don’t want to end up turning into a toaster or anything.

Give me a ring if you’ve got anything for me. Thanks, and... hm. I'd better come up with a catchy sign-off, pretty quick here.

Comments

voice

[lightinside]

Sorry, I haven't heard of 'Assaultron circuit boards.'

[A pause and then-]

...Why would you turn into a toaster?

[outofthepast]

That's what I thought. I guess I'm a little early.

[Is it too soon to be messing with people?]

Oh, you know how it goes. Set up to do a simple oil change, next thing you know you're making breakfast.

[lightinside]

No, I don't think I know how it goes.

[Laurel is still confused. Something didn't seem right.]

Could you maybe explain what you meant by that? I'm not sure I fully understand.

text;

[dirtyredneck]

Ain't never heard of an 'Assaultron' but I know an engineer that works with robotics. Assuming that's what you need the 'mechanic' for? If not, I'm a decent mechanic.

also text

[outofthepast]

Good assumption.

I guess it depends on your robotics engineer and what they're used to. I never had anything so fancy back home, so a regular mechanic would probably do all right too.

[aggressiveapathy]

Don't know. I've been looking for just the right office toaster for, like, years.

[outofthepast]

Well, I'd volunteer for the job, but you'd have to provide me the toaster. And maybe a book to read while I push the lever for you.

voice;

[snarkbot]

[ The voice in question distinctly sounds robotic, though with human-like cadence. As well as being very polite. ]

I'm not familiar with "Assaultron circuit boards" despite not belonging originally to this era either, there may be a difference in universes to take into account as well. Still, it may be wise to try looking in the city of De Chima, which has a penchant for technology and several prominent imPorts who may be able to help you.

[ He can think of a couple at least, if they don't turn up themselves. And now that he's been helpful, he digs a little. ]

If you let me indulge my curiosity, sir, may I ask what era you are from?

[outofthepast]

[Oh, hey. A robot. Nick's distant cousin, or so he considers them.]

The year's 2287, where I'm from. But that doesn't mean too much in terms of the tech. We're basically working back up from being reset to the Stone Age, if you catch my drift.

De Chima, though. I'll try there next.

Video

[viced]

Oh, I'm sure you'll find some kind of bullshit slogan that sounds great on the radio. And then you can have all the import celebrities on your show that you want.

[ A. Beat. ]

I'm more of a hobby-guy, but if you have anything in particular you're looking for. Like, ah, what kinds of circuits in particular? The tech here's a little more advanced than the year, so you'll probably find something that works.

[stttiiiiill voice]

[outofthepast]

I'm thinking it'd be a shame if I didn't capitalize on the Valentine pun. Thought "I'll always be your Valentine" was a bit too much, though.

It's my joints, mostly. Don't think whatever that Porter thing did to them's going to be real good in the long run. This place is a lot less dusty and radioactive than back home, though, so I'm hoping that one good replacement'll keep me in shape for a while.

voice;

[shifting]

...Feelin' like I might be missin' something important here. Are gettin' "diagnostics" pretty standard for you?

[outofthepast]

It's a good idea to run 'em every so often. Spots little kinks in the works that I don't notice on my own.

And you know what they say about periodic maintenance.

video;

[maevelous]

Old tech? Are you saying this world isn't as advanced as the one you come from?

[still voice on this end]

[outofthepast]

Yes and no.

Year's 2278 where I'm from. But we had a... let's call it a "setback" that turned back the clock pretty hard for a couple hundred years. So maybe it used to be more advanced than this place, but it isn't anymore.

voice;

[storyseeker]

You make it sound like you're a robot or something.

[...]

...are you?

[outofthepast]

Depends on your definition of "robot."

But either way, yes. You could say that.

[picksthenames]

"Assaultron" sounds proprietary-- and badass, by the way-- but if you're willing to let me take a look at whatever it is you need done I can probably figure it out.

[outofthepast]

They're a pretty intense model, to be sure. Less sophisticated than me, by a long shot, but the wiring makes a good replacement for mine.

My joints are a bit sticky. Combination of grime, age, and whatever the Porter thing did to get me here.

voice

[hypnotherapy]

Hardware isn't my expertise, but if you need any debugging or patching for your software, I can help you with that. And I know people you can contact for the hardware part, if you haven't gotten help for that already.

This world isn't very up to speed on robotics, though, so you won't find what you're looking for here, I'd think.

[outofthepast]

Maybe you could figure out the software for me. I'm not too inclined to mess around with it much, given it's my brain and all. But it wouldn't hurt to at least be prepared with it.

I'm used to not working with the best of parts and mechanics, though, so hopefully it won't be too different here from what I'm used to.

[text]

[380s]

Don't gotta take the job they tell you to

[outofthepast]

Something about registering or not, right?

I gave it some thought, and I figured it's as good a job as anything else to save up a little cash until I get a feel for the place.

You could say my skill set isn't exactly up to speed for the modern job market.

video;

[fuckinstoplights]

A... toaster?

Why are you talking about circuits and mechanics?

voice on this end!

[outofthepast]

Because I'm asking about 'em, that's why.

[His tone is more amused than it is sarcastic or defensive. He does like stringing people along, a bit...

Or robots, from the looks of this guy.]