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[shittywizard]

[ A very fashionably dressed, green-skinned elf wearing a dapper, pointy hat over his long blond hair peers over the tops of some neon pink sunglasses to look into the camera. Surprisingly, he doesn't seem all that concerned with how this handheld technological wonder is able to broadcast him live, despite clearly being some sort of fantasy wizard. ]

So, this place is fucking bonkers, huh? One minute, I'm minding my own business, polishing the handle of my Umbra Staff and pretending to listen while some asshole tells me about his fish, and the next thing I know, I'm in some crazy bullshit world with floating battle wagons and way more elevators than could ever possibly be necessary.

On the bright side, I guess I'm a makeup artist now? Which sounds pretty sweet, I guess. Making people nicer to look at and not running all over the world to track down stupid-powerful weapons of mass destruction and almost getting killed every other Thursday? Sign me up! I needed a vacation, anyway.

But here's a really important question for all you listeners out there: who's gonna point Taako in the direction of the nearest day spa? Cha boy's had a hell of a day, and my pocket spa just ain't cutting it.

Comments

[wizzardly]

[he sighs. He'll just have to take what he can get.]

In any case, I don't know anything about spas, but I can tell you if you need to relax most Inns here have these amazing things called hot tubs. And there are always pubs, of course.

[shittywizard]

Well, I guess a hot tub would do in a pinch... Not so sure about pubs, though. Hanging around those always seems to end with someone needing a brave adventurer for some stupid quest and cornering you until you agree to it.

[wizzardly]

Or worse, just kidnapping you into it.

[shittywizard]

Yeah, see, you get it. I think the trick is finding some place that serves alcohol and quiet, relaxing solitude.

[wizzardly]

=Which is normally just my home, but you'd be amazed how hard that is to keep stocked.

[shittywizard]

Do you have a drinking problem, or roommates with boundary problems?

[wizzardly]

More the latter.

[never mind that Rincewind is just as likely to snag one of Jeff's bottles on any given evening.]

Although my Luggage helps with that, at times.

[shittywizard]

Am I hearing a capital-L there, or do you just have a drunk suitcase?

[wizzardly]

Capital 'L', absolutely.