24 ⚜ Anonymous Text / CW: abuse mentions

[restingstitchface]

Whether a man is a criminal or a hero is a matter of perspective.

But if you don't want to play your role anymore, and are removed from your motivation for being who you are, what do you do? Do you seek redemption and rehabilitation and transform as an individual, or do you repeat negative behavior? How much do you believe people change only because they are imPorted? In short, do you believe people can change?

If I had anybody willing to discuss this in private with me, I assure you, I'd not be raising the issue publically.

Thank you in advance.

Comments

permalocked

[restingstitchface]

I believe we can.

And what part of this concept do you struggle with, exactly?

Re: permalocked

[h2no]

I WANTED TO CHANGE MY WAYS TO SOMETHING LESS DESTRUCTIVE.
I SUPPOSE YOU COULD CALL IT SEEKING REDEMPTION.
I KEEP GETTING CAUGHT UP BECAUSE WHAT I DID WAS UNFORGIVABLE.
I WANT TO BUT... I DON'T THINK I DESERVE TO.

[restingstitchface]

You feel guilty, and by blaming yourself, you deny those you wronged the chance to accuse you. Not a bad strategy, that. Though brooding won't beget a solution to your problems.

[h2no]

ACCUSE ME OF WHAT?
BEING THE ONE WHO DID IT?
THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO AVOID THAT ANYWAY.
I HAD A PLAN BACK HOME BUT HERE I HAVE NONE OF MY RESOURCES OR
FRIENDS.

[restingstitchface]

Oh. Did these friends help you a great deal, then?

[h2no]

MORE THAN ANYONE WILL EVER KNOW.
ONE OF THEM TRIED TO STOP ME BUT I DIDN'T LISTEN TO HER.
THE OTHER ONE FOUGHT FOR ME.
I BETRAYED THEM BOTH BUT THEY STAYED WITH ME.

[restingstitchface]

I see. And do you think you deserved their loyalty?

[h2no]

BEFORE I FUCKED UP?
YES. FOR SURE. THEY DID THAT WILLINGLY.
AFTER?
I GUESS I'M NOT IN A POSITION TO QUESTION THEIR CHOICES AFTER WHAT I PULLED.

[restingstitchface]

[Some great act of shame that still fuels pain and begets doubt? Certainly, it seems great enough that it's pushed this man to change nearly everything about himself and how he views the world. What is it?]

Forgive me, but that begs the question; what did you do?

[h2no]

OKAY I WAS PUTTING THIS OFF BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF SHITTY AND EMBARRASSING BUT
TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT.
I ALMOST DROWNED THE WORLD.
LIKE, THE ENTIRE THING.
I SCREWED UP BAD ENOUGH THAT IF IT HADN'T BEEN REVERSED, MOST LAND WOULD BE UNDERWATER.

[he doesn't really want to tell EVERYONE about what he did, but at the same time archie feels he at least owes it to the residents of hoenn whose lives he ruined to be honest about it. them and that little scamp who saved his life.]

[restingstitchface]

[Crane sits hunched over his desk with his communicator in one hand and a pencil in the other. He doesn't bother to divert his attention from the journal open under his nose. He scribbles a bunch of analysis down as he vocally dictates his text.]

Environmental terrorism. I have been accused of the same.

[He tries to provide the guy with a reason to think them equals, though they are anything but. It's to engender trust.]

You seem apologetic, regardless. But would you have developed this sudden conscience if you hadn't been caught?

[h2no]

[he winces when he reads it but... yeah, that's exactly what it was.]

YES.
I REALISED MY ERROR THE MOMENT I COULDN'T CONTROL WHAT WAS GOING ON.
I WAS STUPID TO THINK I WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO.
DON'T FUCK WITH GODS, MATE.

[restingstitchface]

Gods don't exist where I come from. I'm more partial to exploring such archetypes than controlling them.

Regardless. The porter has brought a number of gods here, now. I hope their presence isn't too much a temptation for you.

[h2no]

YOU MEAN LIKE, GOD PEOPLE?
THE ONE I USED WAS BASICALLY A GIANT WHALE THAT CONTROLLED THE SEA.
EVEN IF I LOST MY MIND ENOUGH TO TRY AND DO THAT AGAIN, I COULDN'T DO IT TO A PERSON.

[restingstitchface]

Of course not. Except Gods by their nature are divine. Does that mean they are human for you? That they are people?

[h2no]

NO, I JUST THOUGHT "PEOPLE" BECAUSE YOU SAID PORTED.
AND MOST IMPORTS HAVE BEEN HUMANOID.
THE ONES WHERE I COME FROM ARE ALL ANIMALS.

[restingstitchface]

Animals.

Animals have been controlled by humankind for millennia, you realize? There's nothing unique about what you've done. It's quite normal, really. Were animal gods alive in other worlds, I'm certain people would strive to find a way to control them.

[h2no]

NORMAL? TO TRY AND CONTROL THE THING THAT BROUGHT THE SEAS INTO EXISTENCE?
I SAW WHAT IT DID.
KYOGRE WAS BARELY AWAKE FOR TEN MINUTES AND IT THREATENED TO WIPE OUT EVERYTHING.
ALL OF THE ONES WHERE I COME FROM HAVE POWERS. NOT LIKE THE ONES HERE.
I HAVE TWO OF THEM WITH ME. THEY'RE MY PARTNERS FOR BATTLE.
ONE OF THEM IS A SHARK THAT CAN TEAR THROUGH METAL LIKE PAPER.
I'VE COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT'S NORMAL FOR SHARKS HERE.

[restingstitchface]

Perhaps so, though I'm no marine biologist.

Now. The fact that it's normal. Do you understand what that means? I'll inform you: the patterns of animalistic traits and human behavior - you're familiar with them, are you not? - they're the same between one world and the next!

Everyone seeks control over their lives and those of others, in essence. It's not abnormal, what you've done.

[h2no]

[the next message takes a little while to come through. despite still being in all caps, the... defeatedness is probably clear.]

I ONLY WANTED TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.
I NEVER WANTED TO CONTROL ANYONE.

[restingstitchface]

Do you believe that? In order to make things better, control is necessary, whether exerted on others or self. Human, animal, god. What's the difference?

[h2no]

I ONLY WANTED TO CAUSE THE CHANGE.
AFTER THAT, I HAD NO INTENTION TO REIGN OVER ANYONE.
EVERYTHING HAD GONE WRONG AND I WANTED TO HIT THE RESET BUTTON.

[restingstitchface]

I see. Coming to terms with the consequences of your behavior must be difficult.

[h2no]

YEAH. I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING.
WHAT DID YOU DO?

[restingstitchface]

I passed the experimental stages of a compound, a stimulant, that would be safe for testing on imPorts.

I turned the swear-in into an experiment, essentially. There were a number of people who... objected.