24 ⚜ Anonymous Text / CW: abuse mentions

[restingstitchface]

Whether a man is a criminal or a hero is a matter of perspective.

But if you don't want to play your role anymore, and are removed from your motivation for being who you are, what do you do? Do you seek redemption and rehabilitation and transform as an individual, or do you repeat negative behavior? How much do you believe people change only because they are imPorted? In short, do you believe people can change?

If I had anybody willing to discuss this in private with me, I assure you, I'd not be raising the issue publically.

Thank you in advance.

Comments

[restingstitchface]

A person less human than they were. A being who produces actions inhibited of any goodness or valor. Someone greater than a man - a projection, a mirror, an embodiment of terror.

[tacticianing]

[Here, Kidou pauses, fingers hesitating over the keys. He has to force himself to not tense - it's just a question.]

Was it intentional?

[restingstitchface]

Yes.

[He writes, intentionally leaving out the argument of his actions being caused by the effects of others. Without control, he is nothing.]

[tacticianing]

[This being over text is a very good thing. Kidou always prefers to think before he speaks, but it's very hard to bite down on instantly demanding 'why?!' Still, he has to take a moment. The question doesn't involve what Kidou thinks he can forgive.]

Are you going to do that again?

[restingstitchface]

Not at present. Suffice to say, I've moved out from under the bed and into the closet.

[Because monsters hide there too, and all they need is to open the door. But hiding isn't doing - and they'll like that, right?]

[tacticianing]

[He breathes in. He doesn't have enough data on this to know anything about the situation referred to. He's letting this get a bit personal to him without knowing if the same circumstances even apply, and that's not acceptable.]

'Not at present' isn't enough of an answer. To change means not doing what you did before. But it also means not wanting to. While I don't know anything about the situation... no. Maybe it's because I don't.

I stand by everything I've said so far. But I don't think I can answer your question until you can answer mine.

[restingstitchface]

You have my answer. The fact you cannot challenge your academic understanding of past, present and future, and integrate my response into your understanding, is not my concern.

But I am willing to simplify myself for you, so here you go:

No. I will not reoffend. I am in complete control.

[tacticianing]

[Kidou grits his teeth, but refuses to let irritation show in his reply.]

Then I'd have to consider that a change.

[restingstitchface]

I see. And how does that make you feel?

[tacticianing]

That doesn't matter.

[restingstitchface]

I would disagree.

Perhaps you could answer why it doesn't matter, then?

[tacticianing]

You asked if someone could change. How I feel about it isn't a factor.

[restingstitchface]

Thoughts, feelings and behaviors are all linked. Apply that logic, and marvellously how you feel is a factor. Think about it!

[tacticianing]

For what reason do you want to know? This isn't about me.

[restingstitchface]

A change transforms the person who witnesses it, much as the person who changes. It affects them in some manner. People also wish to know the opinions of others before they embark on change, generally. Most seek approval in some fashion. I don't, but I am curious about the changes people experience.

[tacticianing]

Wouldn't you get more from asking those familiar with the situation?

[restingstitchface]

In a different sense? You are as much a witness to change as any other, be it in myself or someone you actually know.

[tacticianing]

You're asking me how I feel about change as a concept, then?

[restingstitchface]

Yes.

[tacticianing]

[A long, long pause as he finds the safest reply he can possibly give. Because, well, he has a lot of feelings here, and none of them are ones he'll want to get into.]

It's pointless to not accept that change will happen. I'm glad when it's change for the better, as long as the change is true.

[restingstitchface]

I see. And where do you think change originates, may I ask? On the inside or out?

[tacticianing]

I don't know if it's always the same like that.

[restingstitchface]

Ah. So you believe change is an impulse?

[tacticianing]

I think it depends. It can be.

[restingstitchface]

Right. I am quite interested to ask; have you encountered the argument that impulse originates in the soul? I don't believe in something so nebulous, of course, but the concept is fascinating.