[Audio]

[cantwalkwithoutit]

A survey question of sorts. Say you don't get on well with a friend's other friends.

[ No this isn't about anyone in particular, just take his general meaning. ]

How do you navigate that without cutting a friend off from yourself or anyone else?

Comments

Audio

[driftsintobuffetline]

Hey, is this about me? Look. If you don't want to come to the wedding, you don't have to. Doc won't force you, I'm pretty sure.

NOT HERE

[cantwalkwithoutit]

[ He's just going to ignore you, Newt. ]

video;

[hunksmash]

You can't be expected to like everybody, right? Some people are... Erm. Well, anyway! You should be able to just be straightforward with your friend. Say you'd like to spend time with just the two of you. That should work.

Audio

[cantwalkwithoutit]

Normally I would call this sound advice, but now pretend that there are situations where this might be unavoidable without alienation of some form.

Re: Audio

[hunksmash]

I dunno, man. You might just have to suck it up. Or risk that alienation thing.

Ideally, your friend would understand that your tastes vary, but if you don't think that's the case... That might be the choice you have to make.

Audio

[cantwalkwithoutit]

Does that change if you happen to be more than friends?

[hunksmash]

Same difference, I guess.

I mean, I'd figure that the 'deal with it' option would be the better way to go, in that case, but I guess there's your own factors to consider.

[cantwalkwithoutit]

This would be why I asked "how."

[hunksmash]

And I'm saying that there's no way to sneak around it. You either put up with people or you don't.

[mathemagier]

I realize you don't quite get along with Newton, but I hope you'd still accompany Dr. Brown to our wedding. It isn't about getting along with us so much as showing Dr. Brown you're willing to try for his sake.

NOT HERE

[cantwalkwithoutit]

[ Ignoring this. He probably should have filtered. ]

[video]

[wordaday]

Well, you gotta be civil, but you're under no obligation to be friendly. Speak when spoken to and smile, but you don't have to go out of your way to actually talk to them. If you're a host, offer them the same things you offer your friend. The key's "polite but distant“.

[Tap into your inner southern woman, Gold.]

[Audio]

[cantwalkwithoutit]

Oh it's speaking when spoken to [ Or about. ] that's the problem.

[wordaday]

[Sookie winces a little in sympathy, because yeah, we've all been there.]

Well, unfortunately you gotta. But like I said, don't engage. Give them short answers but not short answers. If they're trying to poke at you, just change the subject.

Or you could stop talking to that friend. That's what you can do if you wanna keep the peace.

[cantwalkwithoutit]

The latter is not really an option.

[wordaday]

Alright, then learn how to play nice for the sake of you friend or they'll make that decision for you.

[cantwalkwithoutit]

[ And that -- the latter bit. That's what's closing its fingers around something in his chest. ]

That's what I'm trying to do.

[wordaday]

[THEN SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP.

Nah, she won't say that. She wants to, though.]

Here's a secret: you can say whatever you want to in your head, and then say the polite thing out loud.

audio;

[alcheregis]

I suppose that depends on how much you enjoy your friend's company! We don't always get what we want, dear. But what's the saying? Short term pain for long term gain.

audio;

[cantwalkwithoutit]

Enough that I'm willing to ask for advice in the first place. Clearly.

Re: audio;

[alcheregis]

Oho, someone's being a grump!

Are you sure the problem is your friend's friend, or maybe your pride is getting in the way?

audio;

[cantwalkwithoutit]

You said it depended on how much. I supplied an answer.

Re: audio;

[alcheregis]

Mmhmm, but there's asking to find an answer and then there's asking to say that you asked.

Audio

[maestermind]

[Honestly? Find a way to remove the undesirable 'variable' from the equation, preferably in a way that does not link back to you.

But since Seymour can't just say that...]

I would advise exercising a meticulousness in all things, particularly words, so that no action or spoken word can be misconstrued. Practicing mindfulness, and perhaps most importantly...having a way to channel your frustrations, be it an ear you can trust speaking into, or an activity that you enjoy that will help alleviate any pent up frustration.

[Because there is always frustration when you have to bite your tongue around those you would much rather you didn't have to deal with.]

Audio

[iamtetsuo]

What's it matter? If a friend's friends are shit, that person probably is, too.

[This has been: tact times with Tetsuo.]

Audio

[moon_in_her_hair]

I suppose rely on politeness...

It sometimes is the better response.

VIDEO.

[arsiento]

You learn to get over it.

[ Such useful advice, clearly. ]

But it depends. What's wrong with them?

[morethan084]

Depends on the reason you don't like them. Is it because they've actually done something wrong or do they just rub you the wrong way?